chasing daybreak

Pulling out a handful, she shoves the gil across the counter to the attendant giving her a dirty look and ducks through the heavy curtain to the change room beyond. Much to her relief it is not busy—if she had to come here, then Malathar picked her time well. Not many Ala Mhigans would consider bathing at this time of late morning—not when the markets have opened and there are daily tasks to be done. The chamber is empty save for a handful of wizened grandmothers lounging about in the nude, nattering on about the accomplishments of their grandchildren and great-grandchildren as if it were a competition.

They shut their mouths the moment she enters, fixing her with judgmental stares.

She shrugs and stalks across tiled floor, heading for the arched threshold that leads out to the baths.

One of them clears her throat with a loud, frog-like croak.

Fordola stiffens, her pace slowing to halt. She can feel their eyes boring into her. The sensation is familiar; it’s how everyone looks at her these days. “What do you want?” she grunts, glancing over her shoulder.

The crone crooks her finger and points it at her feet. “Sandals off, young lady,” she rasps. “Someone your age should know better.”

She swallows hard, bracing for the insult that must be coming. Does she not recognize her? Or are she and her friends simply playing the fool and pretending otherwise? “Is your eyesight dim, old woman?” she spits back.

The crone throws back her head and laughs. “Indeed, it is!” Grabbing her cane, she rises slowly from the bench and wobbles towards her, shriveled breasts flopping against her chest. “But what I’ve lost in eyesight I’ve gained with my ears, and my ears never lie. I hear those things flopping around on your feet, and I say take them off. No one wants dirt in their nice, clean bath.”

“I won’t be long. I’m here to see a… a friend.”

“Don’t care what you’re here for. Whether it be for one minute or one bell or one Rhalgr-blessed day, the sandals—” She raps the butt of her cane on the tiles ilms away from Fordola’s toes. “—go off.”

Fordola grits her teeth. Without a word, she stoops and yanks the ties free, then kicks them off and pushes them under a bench.

The old crone harumphs approvingly. “Good girl. And word for the wise—”

“I am not here for advice—”

The cane strikes the floor. She shuts her mouth.

“Do more than visit your friend. You stink.”

Fordola flushes, anger heating her cheeks. The old woman’s not wrong. The city is sweltering during the dry season, and she’s been pacing the length of the battlements every day for wont of something to do. Such regular activity leaves her sweating and sweltering, and there is only so much a bucket of water and a sponge can do. But the thought of visiting the public baths fills her with dread; she can easily imagine the stares that would follow her and the remarks whispered behind her back. She isn’t scared—of course she isn’t, she has faced worse in her life—but she is not going to suffer the indignity of stripping down to nothing only to be mocked and gawked at by her kin. It is only because Malathar came here that she bothered to cross the threshold in the first place.

She opens her mouth to reply and—to her surprise—finds she has nothing to say.

The old woman chuckles. Reaching out with a spotted, veined hand, she pats her on the wrist, then turns and totters back to her friends. Fordola pauses, brow furrowed with confusion, and averts her eyes so as not to stare straight at a wrinkled rear end. Her anger fades as quickly as it appeared, or perhaps it never truly sparked in the first place. The old crone does not know who she is.

She yelled at her the way she would yell at any young woman breaking bath house rules.

A lump forms in her throat.

Shaking it off, Fordola strides barefoot across the warm, damp tiles and exits the chamber.

The baths are in the courtyard beyond. A long, rectangular pool fills the centre, open to clear skies and bright sun above. Steam rolls off the surface like mist, filling the courtyard with dense, muggy air. The perimeter is lined with intricate mosaics, tiled in the same way as the walls and columns. Some show their age and wear more than others. There are those that are cracked down the middle or missing a piece here and there, but others—like the broken Ala Mhigan emblem on the wall—were surgically excised during Garlean occupation. This bath house never stopped being a bath house, but like the rest of the city it bears the scars of war even in the most mundane of places.

Aureia Malathar sits at the far end of the pool with her elbows out and resting on the tiles, half-submerged in the water. A tray of soaps, oils and towels lies nearby, all unused. Her head tips back, leaving her throat exposed and damp hair clinging to the skin—she must have put her head under recently. Her eyes are closed, her expression at peace. She has never seen her calm, even when she is asleep.

Water laps gently at her body, rising and falling against her breasts, pale beneath the surface.

The heat returns to her cheeks, and this time it has nothing to do with anger.

Fordola averts her gaze, forcing her eyes to move to the potted plant in the corner. It’s tempting to turn right around and head back out to the street. She has no business interrupting the Warrior of Light. She should leave her be.

But she did come here for reason.

She bites her tongue until it hurts.

“Didn’t expect you to be back so soon,” Fordola says at last, forcing the words out before she turns coward and runs.

Malathar does not move. She does not even open her eyes. “I go where I’m needed,” she replies softly. “And I’m needed here for now. Doma again soon.”

Fordola wets her lower lip. Crossing her arms over her chest, she inches away from the threshold and takes up position with her back to the wall. From here, she has a good view of both the entrance and the arched windows on the far side of the courtyard. If anyone approaches, she will know before they enter.

“Never in one place for long are you, huh?” she remarks.

Even she can hear how it sounds like an insult.

The pool sloshes as Malathar lowers her arms and sinks deeper below the surface, the water now coming up to her neck. “I have duties, Fordola. This is how it has always been.”

“Pfft.”

Fordola looks away, rolling out a crick in her neck. Before she knew her—properly knew her, not as an enemy but as a… companion, for lack of a better word—it didn’t occur to her how much time the Warrior of Light spent on the road. Of course she knew she traversed the continents, but even with the convenience of aetheryte travel bounding from one end of the star and back to the other on a weekly basis takes its toll. Dark circles beneath her eyes, creases in her brow, a pale, sickly cast to her face.

All signs she has recently had a close encounter with the Empire.

Fordola grimaces and pushes down her curiosity. If Malathar has been fighting Imperial remnants in Othard, it will be up to her surrender the details. Though perhaps she can ask Arenvald later. He will know.

She pauses, her thoughts still stuck on Doma. A familiar pinch of jealousy clenches in her stomach. She has scarcely been outside the borders of Gyr Abania; at most it has been a foray into Gridania or back up the coast towards Terncliff. She never thought much of it before. In truth, she is uncertain whether she has ever wanted to leave. She still maintains a flare of pride that she and her parents never fled like the cowards who went to Little Ala Mhigo. But after meeting Malathar and Arenvald—even Lyse Hext and the irritating Leveilleur girl—their stories from beyond the borders made her feel… small.

Like she is a single grain of salt on the shores of Loch Seld.

And now she is fortunate to even leave the city of her birth. She is trapped behind its walls until the Alliance decides what to do with her.

“You’re obsessed with duty,” Fordola says at last, gaze now drawn to the windows. The curtains flutter in the breeze, blocking out the view of the bath house’s walled gardens and the city beyond. “Has anyone ever told you that?”

“Yes.” Another splash. “You sound like Sid.”

Her brow furrows. Though the name sounds familiar, she has a feeling she doesn’t mean Cid Garlond. That man is as duty-bound as Malathar is. A common theme with those who fled the Garlean military—they all have some need to bow and grovel to prove that their actions now can absolve them of their actions in the past, even if it means working themselves to the bone.

She finds it distasteful.

“I don’t mean to,” Fordola replies, looking back. “I—”

Her throat tightens.

Malathar stands with her back to her, water lapping around her thighs. Her pale skin shines in the steam, droplets clinging to her back and ass. It only makes the scar on her back stand out more—the faint arcane lines that stretch from her shoulder blades to the small of her back, imprinted upon twisted red and white flesh where something burned her long ago. A horrific injury, one she is careful to keep covered when out in public.

Fordola has never dared to ask her what happened. Such things are not her business.

The Warrior scoops her hair back from her neck, twists it together and pulls it over her shoulder. She bends over and plucks a bar of soap from the tray, rubs it between her palms, then runs her lathered hands over her body. Quick, detached, perfunctory. Fordola watches her in silence, digging her forearms into her chest as she draws them tighter around her body. Dampness creeps across her skin; she can feel it gathering on the nape of her beck. Even though the bath house is open to the air, it is warm in here. Too warm.

She slips a finger beneath her collar and tugs at it, ignoring the trickle of sweat dripping between her breasts.

Malathar pauses, glancing over her shoulder. “You can get in, you know,” she says, still lathering herself. “I don’t mind.”

Fordola’s jaw clenches. “I never thought you did.”

“You’re fully clothed and hovering by the door like you’re a guard on duty.”

“Maybe I like it right here.”

“It’s a public bath.”

“Aye.”

“People come here to bathe.”

Clunk. 

Malathar tosses the bar back into the tray. She turns around, shrouded in steam. Soap clings to her body, the lather slipping across her breasts, down her stomach and over the slight curve of her hips. There’s a bruise on her side—a big ugly thing, mottled purple and green.

Fordola frowns. She looks thinner than before. Smaller. Drained. It is difficult to see beyond the bruise, but she could swear the shape of her ribs are visible.

Malathar smiles with that strange smile of hers, the one she can never figure out. “Fordola,” she says quietly. “Come on.”

Fordola shoots her a look. Grumbling under her breath, she stoops and rolls her trousers up to the knee, then plops down on the edge of the pool and puts her feet in the water. She sucks in a breath, a painful sting arcing across the back of heel and the bottom of her foot. Damn blisters. Damn sandals. She’d request ones that fit, but the Resistance isn’t keen to outfit her with good gear that should go to her betters. She gets the scraps—that’s the lot she has given herself.

“There,” she grunts. “Happy now, are you?”

Malathar’s smile only widens. She steps deeper into the pool, bends her knees and dunks herself. Repeating the motion several more times, she washes off the rest of the soap and emerges spluttering, a veil of wet hair dripping over her face. “That’s not what I meant,” she replies belatedly, sweeping hair out of her eyes. She makes a face and pushes off the bottom of the pool.

Fordola chews her lower lip, watching her float back to the tray. A pang of envy rises in her chest; how can she be so at ease in a public place like this when anyone could come through that door? How can she be so comfortable in the water? While the pool isn’t deep, it is deep enough. The thought of all that water closing over her head, pushing her down to the bottom while she flails helplessly beneath the surface…

Her throat tightens.

“I’m not getting in the pool with you.”

“Suit yourself.”

Malathar reaches for a bottle and flips it upside down, tipping a small amount of its contents into the palm of her hand. Fordola holds her tongue, watching in silence as the Warrior lifts her hands to her head and runs the lather through her hair. Her movements are slow; there’s something odd about the way she lifts her shoulder. Another injury, perhaps.

Inhaling a sharp breath, Fordola pulls her feet out of the water and shuffles around the perimeter of the pool, careful not to slip on the damp tiles. “C’mere,” she says, sitting back down and plunging her feet into the water. This time her sole doesn’t sting quite as much. “Hate to see you struggle.”

“I don’t—”

“Just let me do it, all right?” She proffers a hand. “Do you want your hair washed or not?”

Malathar looks away and passes over the bottle without comment. Fordola swipes it out of her hand and holds it aloft, waiting as Malathar wades over to her. The water laps around her as she sinks down and settles between Fordola’s legs with her back against the pool wall.

Fordola tsks under her breath and rakes her hands over her head, fingertips catching on tangles. It is far more matted than it appeared, and the shock of red at the tips bleeds dark while wet. There was no red in her hair when she first saw her that day on the battlefield, well over a year ago now. It is a recent acquisition, although something tells her it has always been there, just masked.

Her fingertips pass over a swollen lump hidden beneath her hair. Malathar sucks in a pained breath, her expression working to keep it contained. Fordola draws back, uncertain of what she touched. A scalp wound? A knock to the head? Something else? Rhalgr’s tits, what is she hiding now? Between this and the bruise and the tightness in her shoulder, she can’t imagine she would have picked up so many injuries in Doma—not while in the company of the Alliance.

Wounds heal like this in the care of ordinary chirugeons, not beneath the magicks of powerful white mages.

Pressing her lips into a fine line, Fordola continues without a word. Slathering more lather between her palms, she runs it through her hair and gives her scalp a good scrub, taking care to avoid the sensitive spots. Slowly, Malathar relaxes—her body presses against her legs and she tilts her head back, leaning into her touch. Her eyes flutter closed and her expression stills with a sense of calm.

The pool laps in silence. Slowly, gently, like the waters of Loch Seld rippling along the shoreline on a quiet day. Sunlight streams in through the opening above, bouncing off the greenish-blue surface to reflect upon the walls. Though the busiest quarter of the city is only a few malms away it might as well be on the other side of the star. There is no one here but them, and they have nothing but time.

That is how it feels, at least.

Fordola swishes her feet back and forth, enjoying the pull of the water around them. “Want to tell me what happened?” she murmurs, running her fingers through her dark hair again. The tangles have long since been combed out.

A faint crease appears between Malathar’s brows. “About what?”

Resistance. Short and sharp. Funny how easily she shares her deepest secrets and most intimate parts of her, but other topics are out of bounds. Ul’dah. The Lord Commander. Ishgard. The Scions of the Seventh Dawn. Her duty, which encompasses far more than what the Alliance asks of her. Her personal promises—and vendettas.

Fordola’s fingers slow. Perhaps it’s not funny at all. If she is honest with herself—which she is not wont to do, given honesty hurts like a bloody blister stinging in too hot water or feels the same as drowning in a pool—she doesn’t know what she wants from her. No matter how many times they seek each other out, there will always be a wall between them. She can only know her so far.

Perhaps she should be grateful she has been given the chance to know her at all.

Malathar cracks an eye open. “Are you all right?” she asks quietly.

Fordola pulls her hands back and crosses her arms. “Dunk your head already,” she mutters, averting her gaze.

Malathar pushes away from the wall. Sucking in a deep breath, she slips below the surface and floats there, becoming a cloud of dark hair blooming in the water. She emerges moments later in a spray of water.

Fordola flinches as cool droplets land on her arms. “You could have done this in your chambers, you know,” she says, finally voicing the thought that has been on her mind since she entered the damn place. “Don’t understand coming to a place like this when you have all the comforts of—”

The water sloshes. “I had no desire to go to the palace just yet. I…”

Fordola glances at her. Malathar stands in the pool with her arms folded over her breasts, droplets trickling down her limbs. Her eyes flick up, ruby eyes looking at her from beneath dark lashes—and Fordola’s heart clenches.

The palace.

She does not need to say more than that.

Heaving a breath, Fordola rises to her feet and quickly strips, tossing her clothing onto a nearby bench. Now naked, she turns back around and sits down on the ledge, then carefully slips off and into the pool. Steam curls pleasantly around her as she wades through the warm water, surprised that it is not as deep as she thought. Snaking an arm around her waist, she pulls the Warrior—Friend? Companion? Lover?—towards her. She goes easily, buoyed by the water, and when she is pressed tight against her Fordola bows her head and puts her lips on hers.

Her mouth is wet and warm, her body loose and relaxed in her arms. And so she kisses her again and slips a hand over her belly and between her thighs.

The pool is quiet save for the sound of rippling water and the murmur of satisfied breath.

Someone behind her clears their throat. “Aureia?”

The Exarch’s voice is one she knows instantly. There’s familiarity in its warmth, the polite candor and powerful command bleeding away to something more casual, as if he is addressing her as a friend rather than a leader. The differences are slight, but they are there—the kind of small inflections and subtle gestures that only come after two people have known each other intimately. She doubts he realizes he is even doing it, and he doesn’t speak like this to anyone else. Not to Lyna, who, as she understands it, he has known since she was a child. Nor to Alphinaud and Alisaie, so she doubts he feels some kind of personal connection to the summoned Scions as a whole.

So, what is it? What is it about her?

Her fingers squelch in the muck. She glances over her shoulder.

“Hi,” she says brightly.

He chuckles, one hand resting thoughtfully on his chin. “I had hoped this would be an opportune moment to discuss a matter of great importance with you—but I see you are rather… uh… occupied.”

“If it makes you feel better, this isn’t how I intended to spend my afternoon. You know I can talk and do other things at the same time—”

He stiffens. Something catches in his throat, his breath uneven.

“—so if you have something to ask, ask away.”

“I…” He clears his throat again. “What are you doing, if I may ask?”

“Well, you see—” She flashes him a little smile and returns to work. “—this is what happens when you think you will spend an afternoon in the gardens puzzling over exactly how this aquaculture was made, and while leaning a little too far over to get a better look at this lovely and enchanting tree, you happen to drop something extremely important to you right into a pile of fertilizer. And that, Exarch—” She digs deeper. “—is how you end up elbow deep in amaro dung.”

He pauses. “…you’re enjoying yourself, aren’t you?”

“Oh, immeasurably. I had a garden once—not like this and it wasn’t really a garden—but it’s nice to dig in the dirt again.”

He sighs and rolls up his sleeves. “If this item is so important to you, then two pairs of hands are better than one.”

“You don’t have to—”

Too late. He has already dropped to his knees and plunges into the dirt, the blue of his crystalline hand a sharp contrast to the muck. A stray thought crosses her mind—can he feel anything with all that crystal? Or is it simply… dead?—and she pushes it away. He digs enthusiastically for some time, unbothered.

“Erm,” the Exarch says at last. “I should have asked—what are we looking for?”

Aureia laughs. “A ring.”

“Ah. Like a needle in a haystack then, if that is the colloquial phrase.”

“Hopefully it’s not as hard as that. Have you ever actually searched for a needle in a haystack?”

“I have not. Why do I get the feeling you are about to enlighten me on the subject?”

“Because I have. Eorzeans ask you for the strangest things to help them.”

“And I would imagine it has led to a daring adventure or two.”

The phrase sits oddly with her. She pauses, brows drawn together, and sits back on her haunches. Sweat drips down the back of her neck, a sign she needed a break anyway. “I need to find it,” she says quietly. “It’s not just a keepsake, it’s… important. I got rid of it once a long time ago on purpose and it found its way back to me. I can’t lose it again. Besides, I don’t think I could look Thancred in the face and tell him I lost it in a pile of manure after all he did to get it back.”

Thancred. She hasn’t seen him yet. He’s out there somewhere, in Lakeland or further. Of course he didn’t stay put in one place, that wouldn’t be like him. Perhaps he would have come immediately if he heard she was here, but as the Exarch told her it has been five years since his arrival.

Anything can happen in five years.

The Exarch nods and scrapes away quietly at the dirt. “You said you had a garden?” he asks, changing the subject.

Aureia chuckles and raises her arm, carefully brushing hair out of her eyes with her forearm. “Not a real garden,” she explains. “I’m not an expert, and I have no interest in becoming one. I just like to see things grow. I’ve killed more than I’ve grown, but for the few that have survived… I don’t know. I suppose it’s nice to have something to do with my hands. Something that isn’t war.”

Slowly, he stops digging and sits back, the hem of his cloak flared across the stone floor. “When was this?” he asks.

“On and off for years. I started when I lived in Ishgard. Killed most of the things I brought back with me from Idyllshire.”

“I did not know this.”

He says it apologetically.

She looks at him. “Why would you?”

The Exarch does not speak for some time. “Aureia,” he says finally, his reserved tone returning. “I must confess my reason for seeking you out. I thought to call on you for aid. There has been a sighting—a cluster of sin eaters spotted by the Isle of Ken and their gaze is drawn to Sullen. These are the first to return since you slew Philia and restored the night. Perhaps they seek to reclaim their territory, or perhaps they intend to test your strength. Perhaps this is merely a coincidence. But the village is endangered by their presence, and—”

“I’ll go.”

“You do not have to. Lyna is well-equipped to handle it in your stead.”

“I’ll go, Exarch.” She gets up and brushes off her hands. “It is my duty. No one else needs to risk themselves.”

“Thank you. I…” He pauses again, as if searching for words he cannot say. “Thank you. I know your position within the Eorzean Alliance weighed on you in the past. I do not wish to make the same mistakes as they—”

Her jaw tightens. It wasn’t like that, exactly. Aymeric and the others never asked me to do something I wasn’t already prepared and willing to do. They weren’t the ones making the mistakes, I was.

“—and I have no desire to exploit your talent, your skill and your Blessing. You are not a weapon, Aureia, though I understand others have seen you as such before. I will not use you as one. That, I promise.” He rises to his feet and extends a hand. There, in the centre of his crystal palm, is a silver ring. “Here—ah.” His lip press into a fine line. “Perhaps I should… ah. Clean it first, yes? Yes. My apologies. I will be right back.”

The Exarch bows politely and turns on a heel, swiftly walking away. He scurries across the Hortorium, seeking out a researcher to ask for soap and a pail of water. She stares, lips parted in confusion as she watches him go, the sense of familiarity returning to her. There is someone he reminds her of, but the memory is faint. Distant. A life-time ago. She has met so many people, seen so many faces… it could be anyone.

She shrugs it off.

It doesn’t matter.