confessions by and for roleplayers

im sending this in because i am at a loss. i feel like no one wants me around and that i mean nothing in the rpc. my years of hard work on my oc dont matter. i remade,still feel crappy and like the vibes are off on the dash and im just talking to myself. i dont feel good about being on the dash anymore,instead i feel an emptiness in me,a sadness. i feel like i am stuck between wanting to leave or delete and i dont know which im going to choose. anyways,if someone can give advice on what i should do…please comment. im genuinely confused and lowkey hurt. thank you in advanced and im sure i am not the only one feeling this way about the rpc.

Seriously, all of the posts about not blocking people lately… to me, they just read like, 'Let me tell you (without telling you) how I've never had any serious problems with anyone in the RPC.' Sometimes blocking really IS the only option. Sometimes, in order to preserve my own sanity, I need to make sure someone who's actively and intentionally trying to hurt me is nowhere near my dash. It's that simple. So no, I'm not going to put up with harassment when I can simply block and be done with them. No one will ever convince me 'not blocking' is the way to deal with a situation like that. I do not have to 'suck it up' and ignore them. That's literally what the block button is there for.

Crazy idea. Maybe people would be more responsive to your ship call posts, or even just your shippy and smutty memes in general, if you actually replied to your threads. I don’t ship with people if we don’t have a decent amount of writing between the two of us. I want to see how our writing meshes, how our iterations of our muses interact, and how committed you are. While I can’t speak for every single roleplayer, I at least know there are a lot who feel the same as I do. So please. Stop reblogging the same ship call post three times a day that not a damn one of your mutuals likes and finally reply to our, and your other partners’, threads. They’d maybe be more inclined to ship with you if you’d actually test IC chemistry.

It shouldn’t be so hard deleting/letting go of old blogs I don’t use anymore, but it is. I've been roleplaying here for over fifteen years and have never deleted a single RP blog. Now that I'm starting to for a couple of personal reasons… man, why is it so hard? I’ve been deactivating blogs I wound up never using, and that’s gone fine. But tonight was the first time I deactivated a main blog for one of my past muses and it shouldn’t hit as hard as it is. It only had 50 posts on it. Really, you could say I didn't write them at all (to compare, my more "successful" blogs have anywhere from 2,000 to 25,000+ posts). It was sitting there inactive for years, and I’ve retired muses before. But something about actually deleting a muse’s blog entirely and my entire history with that muse, no matter how little, hits different. And I know that's silly to say, but it's the truth. I’m already preparing to delete another one with about 250 posts and a handful of small RPs on it. I hate how hard this is.

I’ve been trying my best to give all OCs a chance, I really do but as an OC writer myself, some of the OC blogs I’ve followed don’t even bother following me back, especially when they’ve been complaining how they don’t get a lot interactions like, “Hello, I exist!” I understand not all OCs I’ve written with are like that and I still have people who will write with my OC but in some cases, following some OC blogs aren’t worth my time. I’m just done and tired chasing OCs who have that shitty behaviour.

The RPC is inherently selfish with far and few exceptions.

There's this mun in my fandom. We've been mutuals for ages, they're an absolute sweetheart, but we've barely written together because they're never around. We started a couple threads that I ended up dropping because they disappeared for almost two years. Anyway, what keeps happening is they'll message me out of the blue so excited that I'm still here and how they can't wait to start RPing again, and I'll reblog their promo or send them a meme to help them "get things going again," which they never answer because they disappear again after that until a year or so later and it repeats. Seriously, our last three conversations (if you can consider 2-3 messages a conversation) were all over a year apart. As nice as they are, I've lost almost all enthusiasm for interacting with them, because I know nothing will happen. My own blog is semi-retired at this point and only running on a queue of pics of my muse, and my pinned post says this, yet they still messaged me "OMG YOU'RE STILL HERE!! I'M COMING BACK!" (not those exact words) every year or two. I didn't see their most recent message until days later since I barely check that account now, but I honestly don't know if it's worth it to respond. I'm not into ghosting or whatever, but we literally only exchange a few words every one or two years because that's how little they're online. Yet for whatever reason they always message me like we're RP BFFs whenever they come around (despite us never actually getting to know each other that well) and I feel bad because like, do they really expect me to still be super excited to see them and super pumped at the thought of writing when we haven't written anything together in almost five years now? When the last few comeback attempts lasted all of a week where they reblog one meme and a gifset or two and that's it? I don't want to hurt their feelings, but what do they really expect here? What do people who only come around once or twice a year or less, really expect to happen?

If you aren't having fun because you aren't everyone's main version of a popular canon character, then that's something you need to sort out with yourself. Popular canons will have multiple writers. It's okay for you to write with the multiples of popular canon ship interest but the second it happens to you, you are mad?

People are so unwilling to add conflict to their threads it's so boring! everything just constantly being happy with no conflict for muses that have flaws and red flags is just really boring! then people get overly sensitive if a muse is mean to their muse!! my muse is being mean to your MUSE not you. this is not a personal attack towards you!!! stop projecting onto your damn muses! people weren't so vanilla in the better tumblr years. 2010s era RPC i miss u everyday.

Remaking your blog every time you go inactive, return to a "fresh start", then proceed to leave for months again, and repeating the cycle has me fed up to the point of blocking every time I see you. Sometimes I question if you're doing this to block evade those who cut off mutuals with you, but again this is speculation on my part. I've never seen someone move blogs this often until now.

The best time to rp was up to the year 2014, but the second best time is now and I mean that. People are kinder than they have ever been on this website. I’ve seen a lot of people kinda glorify the days of 2016 tumblr rp when genuinely I think those were the dark ages. I think the years from when Tumblr started to about 2014 were good, but after that, many rpers came in who… it’s hard to describe fully. It’s like I couldn’t interact with anyone. I rarely ever had anyone follow and getting people to interact was like yanking teeth out. Also, writing became more prose-y and thats when the “I owe you nothing” rhetoric started spinning. I recall around this time there was the feeling of a panopticon rping here. Then around maybe 2019-2023 this started to fade out. People talk to me ooc now! This is great! Maybe I just found a good group of people and this is just my experience so I cant speak for everyone, but what was going on? What changed for the better?

I am inclined to believe that people who reply a pm prompt directly instead of doing a new post aren't interested in turning it into a thread. It's really not that much work to copy-paste a prompt into a new post.

There was this mutual of mine who likes my starter call and I created one for them but they never responded to it for months. Same mutual also liked my inbox call but I sent three asks to them and only responded to one of them. However, they liked my HCs and send me asks once in a while and partially engage with me, which is a good thing because not many would bother doing these. I understand people being slow due to real life. I would like to ask them for a follow up for a starter without sounding too pushy, but I feel like they’re ignoring me on purpose or just generally busy despite I wanna remain mutuals with them. I don’t know if I should break mutuals with them because I wrote starters for them a few times but they don’t reply to any of them. We discussed OOC for a bit but our conversation doesn’t go anywhere. I don’t know what to do. I feel like they’re losing interest and they just want to keep me as a follower count.

It is frustrating when you throw your partner a pitch that works for both muses, and they completely ignore it to pull something out of their ass that only works for their muse instead.

Sometimes I hate being on here because there's this one person who has a history of block evading a good friend of mine and keeps deleting blogs after having them for a while then making new ones for new muses with no indication of who is behind that blog. I'm a little paranoid, right now.

So there is a topic that I normally don't feel comfortable writing, but lately I have been exploring it in once particular universe with one particular rp partner who I feel comfortable doing so with. I only write it with them, and I tag the posts in case anyone sees it and wants to blacklist (I don't think anyone is interested enough in my writing to read it and notice, but I still take precautions because it's the right thing to do). But I can't help feeling a little disheartened when I look for new rp partners and see their rules stating that anyone who writes that topic will always be banned from interacting with them. 100% it is absolutely their right to curate their experience and make sure they are comfortable, that is so important, but to know that because I write one single thing in one single verse with one single rp partner who I trust, I'd therefore be banned from interacting with so many people, it's a little sad.

You told me how it is you prioritise threads, that those you don't really care for, you don't even draft and put them in a tracker instead. And yet now, years later you're replying to threads I have basically forgotten about because I assumed you didn't have interest in continuing them. If they're the bottom of the pile for your interest and have been for years, why are you bothering with them now and what made you think that I would be interested in continuing them? You invertedly told me you didn't care about them so I stopped caring too. Don't try and put the onus on me to carry on a thread that I can't even access properly because they're legacy posts, they're dropped as far as I'm concerned after you didn't even bother to draft them. You're only replying now because your faves have moved on to new faves, you even complained about that to me too btw, I'm not an idiot.