augacity

movies used to be about real things like robert redford and paul newman looking at each other

the uncontrollable urge to know how people describe me to others

just got a call from the american psychiatric association. you old dogs, i said, picking up on the first ring. how many times i gotta tell you to lose this number. i don’t want you coming around here anymore. “listen, toots, we’ve been doing some thinking,” they says, and i says, guess there’s a first time for everything. “you’re a real funny dame, sugardoll. reviewing criticism, we’ve determined that the biggest issue with our previous diagnostic and statistic manuals of mental disorders is the anonymity of it all. we’ve been circling around a vague figure of the mentally well without defining the traits of a mentally well person. there’s no personality. what we need is a cute broad with a couple opinions to model the psychological norm.” so i’m saying back up and give it to me straight: i’m the new standard of sanity? can i get that in writing? and they say, “as the american psychiatric association we hereby state that you are the baseline and any deviations from your personality are deviations from the very concept of sanity, at least in the united states psychiatric system.” they’re making it public tomorrow. it’s a nice gig, if you really want to know. never thought they’d let a woman do it.

i'm pregnant... with the next great American novel! [looks directly at you, suddenly serious] and I'm getting an abortion

gripping stevebucky tumblr by the shoulders and trying to explain cultural genocide to them and that steve would not speak understand or know gaeilge except for to say slainte and put the emphasis on the si part of banshee instead of the ben and that hearing it would be something akin to if he heard cantonese or somali or esperanto just infinitely more emotionally painful. smiles nicely and walks away but you can see i'm ripping a picture of oliver cromwell into little tiny pieces and muttering it's all your fault it's all your fault

a deeply underrated part of the gay taylor swift conspiracy theories is that if they're right and she really has spent over a decade sending subliminal messages based on minute details for people to decode then she's uuuuuh. I mean she's insane. she's jigsaw. she's the riddler. her dad bought her career because if she didn't have music to distract her she would have started building deathtraps.

progress on medical school applications: 1/27

3/27 !!

6/27....

12/27.

18/27! and with that i feel i've officially rounded the corner on these, thank god.

23/27 :D

27/27

your brother is basically a classic person to kill