one rotten girl in the city of the future

This needs to go with the deli sign that asked, “how do you top your sub?”.

i don’t want to reblog this but i genuinely want to read more examples so

Call out post for literally everyone I know and also me.

I’m dying over the knock-off Kit-Kat! 🤣🤣🤣🤣

going on a guilt trip do yall want anything

if you really cared about me you wouldn't have to ask

Reblog to let your followers know that despite your current obsession your previous obsessions still exist and are simply lying dormant until they awaken and strike again

…I can’t think how it took me so long to run across this. I feel privileged to have been found by it. 😄

100% accurate

Cackling

the best way i can think to describe the experience of reading moby dick is you’re in line at the dmv and this guy behind you very loudly says “well who HASN’T had a gay experience” and then proceeds to tell you every detail about his life in between anecdotes about how great sperm is and how ropes work and sometimes he’ll say the most poetic shit you’ve ever heard in your life and them jump RIGHT back into explaining how a whale is a fish because 1) it swims in water and you’re still only like halfway through the dmv line

When you’re a naturally nosy person who decides to become ignorant, the first few months of never knowing just what the fuck is going on can feel uncomfortable and strange but stick it out and before you know it you’ll be able to shrug off and dismiss most discourse like a telemarketer calling about your extended warranty. Do not disturb time forever baybee!

the club moss I got for my terrarium is dying, despite being lovingly packed into organic soil with oven-fried leaf litter and bioactive springtails and isopods, and meanwhile in my fridge my fuck ass onions are sending out bright green shoots as happy as could be in their cold dark box of fucking nothing

As dandelions to sidewalks, so onions to refrigerators.