one rotten girl in the city of the future

This is the exact plot of the 2017 novel.

Does anyone know what to do about the temperature and also the prices

Item: Corset of Visibility

You ever hear that old chestnut about how most people neglect the part of the story of Icarus where he also had to avoid flying too low, lest the spray of the sea soak his feathers and cause him to fall and drown? You ever think about how different the world would be if Icarus died that way instead? If the idiom was to Fly To Close To The Sea? A warning against playing it far too safe, about not stretching your wings and soaring properly? You ever think about how Icarus died because he was happy?

white usamericans when asked how they're doing, will never say "bad". they'll just say "I'm hanging in there" and that is universally understood as them being so so bad. like. no american is happily hanging in there. we don't like the hang.

not now kitten. daddy only planned the first half of his wip, and now he has to figure out what the fuck to do for the other half.

using "what were YOU doing at the devils sacrament" to mean "yeah i made an embarrassing reference but you understood it which is also embarrassing" is very funny to me

my favorite part is that absolutely nobody says this except here. so if you use it in public, it's a dead giveaway that you spent the last ten years on tumblr. but then again, they recognized it, which means they were at the devil's sacrament

At a certain point, the appropriate response to "What were you doing at the devil's sacrament" becomes "stealing shoelaces from the president."

Reblog if you were stealing shoelaces from the President

I'm in a little local cafe and the women behind the counter started griping to each other, "Oh Christ, Stephen's back again," "It's him, is it? I thought he'd stopped coming," "It's definitely him, look, it's bloody Stephen on a Thursday morning," "Do you want me to get rid of him or are you going to do it?" and so I was peering outside, trying to spot this nightmare customer, this pestilence of a person, this pox upon the cafe trade, and then one of the women from behind the counter ran outside, clapping two trays together loudly and yelling "GET OUT OF IT, STEPHEN!" and it turns out that Stephen is an absolutely gigantic fuck-off seagull who hangs around outside, menacing people for crumbs

Yeah sex is cool but have you ever been on tumblr before December 17 2018?

This needs to go with the deli sign that asked, “how do you top your sub?”.

i don’t want to reblog this but i genuinely want to read more examples so

Call out post for literally everyone I know and also me.

I’m dying over the knock-off Kit-Kat! 🤣🤣🤣🤣