hey

notice how everyones 30 now

give a man a NEW LAMBORGHINI and he'll SLEEP for a day. teach a man KNOWLEDGE and he'll DRIVE UP HERE IN THE HOLLYWOOD HILLS

fuck i love not being a mother

Driving around my town trying to find one single burger just one burger or a hot dog but Unfortunately everythings just rubble and twisted scaffolding upstretched and rotting and theres shit on fire and a big black ass sky

Guess i cant do shit anymore Cause the sewers are all muddied with a thousand lonely suicides... And yep, you guessed it: a dark wind blows.

I don’t remember posting this screenshot

Getting dumped really puts children's cartoon villains into perspective. Like dude you're SO right, love and caring ARE disgusting and we SHOULD cast a spell to drain all human emotion into your amulet.

Friend breakups are how you get lines like "Your friends? You think your friends are coming to save you? Don't make me laugh."

"don't post that, what if an employer sees?" personally i think employers need to stay the fuck off their employees' social media lmao

stop normalizing employers invading employees' privacy ❤️❤️❤️

One time I was trying to remember what the name for the “ß” character was so I googled “german ss” and was like “no that’s not the one I was thinking of”