oh geez.

I will lock in tomorrow like nobody has ever locked in before

@/teaboot

This isn't even a joke it's just what we do

good god when the mr clean magic eraser hits the stove......

the panties hit the floor

you know it brother

Cant tell you how many times I rawd*gged my husband after I caught him using a magic eraser to clean the pasta sauce I burned onto the burner like some kind of primordial insect

you know what i wish you would tell me

ok guys but imagine how hard it's gonna hit if something good ever happens again

hobbits were the peak of civilization in tolkien verse. jobs were Gardening, Stall At The Farmer’s Market, or Mailman. Shoes OFF, capris ON, 6 meals a day, high and fat as all shit. Names like Daddy Twofoot….why the fuck are we horny for elves

but actually genuinely why is the ant sad and leaving with a bindle

This is an awesome use of what is probably a master's degree if not a doctorate and I am 100% thrilled that she shared it even though it was embarrassing and she squeaked.

Thank you, adorable scientist, for making people's lives better.

As an Australian, THIS WOMAN IS A FUCKING GODSEND.

this is Hannah Fry, Professor of the Public Understanding of Mathematics at the University of Cambridge and president of the Institute of Mathematics and its Applications.

EVERYOBODY GET DOWN HES TAKING A CREATIVE LIBERTY

i support women's wrongs

Clown cars are really tiny, but clown shoes are really big. What's that gas pedal look like

fellatio sounds like a supporting shakespeare character rather than oral sex on a penis to be honest