♡ ; Motherfuckin' Cameron

"did kelce tell you, y/n?" blonde, known as sav, questions as she finds a space on the beach towel. wet hair sprinkling droplets on your dry skin with a flip of her hair.

"party tonight? yeah," you nod, readying yourself to break the news you didn't intend on showing up.

"oh goodie, me and chloe are going to get ready at my place so just get there at like 7 and we'll pregame while we get ready," bright smile as the girl pulled her phone from her beach bag.

"oh my god yeah, i already got the truly's from my brother so we're good," chloe's giddy voice chimed in as she leaned over into the conversation.

"yeah... i'm not going," you sighed, rubbing your hand on the back of your neck awkwardly. both girls faces dropping as if their miniature puppies had been run over or something.

"funny," chloe laughed, "this is going to be the party of the year, what do you have better to do?"

a roll of your eyes as you looked up at the clear sky, "my brother-" before you could so much get the rest of your sentence out sav interrupted. "oh come on, what does he have another scavenger hunt he's trying to drag you on? you don't even like stuff like that," she groaned, pout prominent on her face. a laugh coming from you, she wasn't wrong. if you had to admit, kook life suited you much more than getting dirty out on the cut.

"i'm taking the silence as your coming," chloe's giddy demeanor returning, with a short clap of her hands. you decided to stop putting up a fight, knowing you were fighting a losing battle anyways. kelce's parties were always fun anyways, although there was no way you'd be able to tell john b you were ditching him and the pogues for a party at kelce's. there was no world would that could go over well.

your brother was always protective of you, even though you were a year older than him and he'd placed one big rule on the circumstances of you going kook. steer clear of the golden trio : topper, kelce, and rafe. for the most part you did. by no means would you consider the three guys close friends of your but you were friendly with them. it came in handy when it came to parties, the three over them known for throwing some of the best ones on this side of the island.

---------- later that night . ----------

your greeted by cheering from your best friends as you exit your white jeep. both girls stood at the front porch. sav holding out a truly, already cracked open for you. "we thought we were going to have to go make a detour to save you from the cut," sav laughed, as you took the truly. shaking your head, laugh syncing with hers before you brought the can to your lips.

once the three of you made your way up to sav's room you set your bag down by the door, conversation on how the night was going to go already in full swing. "do you think tonight kelce will finally make a move?" sav bounces on her bed for a moment. she's had a crush on kelce for as long as you'd known her and only recently had he started to show some interest. you hoped for her sake tonight was her night.

"oh for sure," you give an assured nod.

"he was all over you the other day at the country club," chloe added.

"speaking of all over someone at the country club," sav smirked, as both girls turned their attention your way. you looked at them both confused.

"what?" you asked, not fully sure what the two of them were getting at.

"oh my god, y/n/n, don't play stupid. rafe is so into you," chloe tilted her head to the side, her words coming out like this was some sort of common knowledge. sav's nod only reaffirms that. you this wasn't true though. rafe cameron was not into you and even if he was ... he was off limits. john b would kill you, himself.

"he is not," you groan, "he was just being nice," remember how he'd brought you over a drink from the bar while you were all by the course. the way his hand pressed on your lower back sent chills up your spine that you would never admit to.

"name one time rafe has ever been nice to anyone he didn't want to get into bed?" sav laughed, making you stop before responding. she had a point, but still, you refuse to even let your mind harp on the idea for to long. you'd heard your brother's stories of the eldest cameron and although you didn't necessarily believe all of them, they were enough for you to put your faith in heeding your brother's warning.

"lets just get ready," turning to your bag, any way to get off this topic. both girls shrug, giggling to each other for a second before you all fall into getting ready.

doja cat playing on full blast, girly giggles just nearly tuning the sound of the music out. you'd made your way through nearly all the truly cans between the three of you, a good buzz going. it was a good thing sav lived so close to kelce's house. the walk wouldn't be too long, both ways. seeing as you were planning to stay at her place for the night. her parents out on the mainland for the week.

"okay! kelce just texted me asking if we're on the way," sav squealed. you and chloe join in on the excitement as you all grab the last three cans and set on your way over to the party. it was only an hour in and you had a great buzz going, so good you and topper had beat out three other pairs at beer pong. something you were only good at with the right amount of alcohol in your system.

"one second," you called out, feeling your phone going off.

"oh c'mon, y/n, we're just heating up," topper whined, arm wrapping around your shoulder before you raise your phone up. showing an incoming call from your brother, he sighs and lets you go on your way. legs carrying you up the stairs and into a guest bedroom so that you could answer john b with some peace and quiet.

"where are you? your locations off?" was the first thing he said when you tapped the green button. a sigh coming from you.

"calm down, fbi, i'm with sav and chloe like i said ... the guy sav likes pulled a real dick move," you lie, plopping down on the bed in the middle of the room. you hated lying to john b, but he just wouldn't understand if you told him you chose to go to a kook party over hanging out with him and the rest of the pogues at the chateau.

"i'm just making sure you're safe," you could tell in his voice he'd missed you. you missed him to. a loud thud coming from somewhere in the house, followed by cheering. pulling your phone from your face for a second , mouthing 'fuck' to yourself, hoping he hadn't heard anything.

"what was that?" he asked. of course, he'd heard it. the sound probably echoed throughout the entire neighborhood.

"uh, nothing, just the tv," you tried to explain away, "i'll call you tomorrow, okay? i got to go, love you," before he could even get his own i love you out you were already hitting the red button on your phone screen. fear that the partygoers downstairs would find another way to try and get you caught in your lie. dropping your phone onto the bed for a second, relieved sigh falling as you shoulders slouched for a moment.

"i didn't take you for a liar," a familiar voice announces itself. startled you look up, to find smug grin right above you.

"rafe," you stutter out. when did he get here? and why was he just lurking around listening to your phone call.

"y/n," he let out a dry laugh before finding a space beside you on the bed.

"what are you doing in here?" you ask, as if he can't throw the same question your way.

"well, this is my room for the night," brows raises as he licks over his lips. your own brows knit together, was he really planning on getting that drunk that he couldn't even make it back to tanneyhill? you notice the half empty bottle of whiskey he's offering to you and you've already received your answer to your own question.

"uh, sure," you give him a smile, taking the bottle and taking a swig of it. liquor burning every inch of your throat. you'd always been more of a hard seltzer kind of girl. as you regain your composure you can feel blue eyes studying you and your cheeks heat up under his gaze.

"good shit, right?" he says before you give the bottle back. all you do is give him a nod before you stand up, kneading out your pink sundress that you now were hyperaware of how it hugged every curve of your body.

"yeah, thanks for that," a nervous laugh tumbles from you. normally you weren't so awkward around him but you were in a bedroom, just you, rafe, and a bottle of whiskey. you may have been buzzed but even you knew that wasn't a good look. before you can much headway toward the door you feel a hand tug at your arm, just strong enough to pull you back toward rafe but gentle enough not to hurt. your eyes widen as you look down at him and you notice the small pout on his lips.

"yes rafe," you try and laugh off the random action, free hand flipping through your hair.

"where do you think you're going?" his strong hands find their way to your hips and that's when you realize you're positioned right in between his legs. your heart nearly jumping out of your chest. "looking like that," his teeth raking over his bottom lip as he takes a moment to look you over.

"i-" you don't even know how to respond, not sure if your brain was fuzzy from the alcohol or from the shock of rafe cameron giving you a compliment. he had to be trashed, right? hum coming from the guy in front of you, your mind focused on the way he thumbed at your hips through your dress.

"i should really get back to the girls," you gulped, trying to get out of his grasp but his hold was firm.

"don't go, y/n." smirk playing on his lips as he stands, now towering over you. "we never get any time alone."

you face drops at his words and for a moment you can't help but to think back to what chloe and sav had said earlier in the night. were they right? did rafe actually have a thing for you? shaking your head slightly. it didn't matter. whether he was or not, your loyalty had to stand with john b, if not on anything than on this matter. rafe's hand moves up to your jaw, lifting up head up to look up at him. blue eyes searching your for a green light from you.

"my brother, he hates you," you choke out, skin tingling under his touch. your words don't have the effect you thought they would they and he leans his head back for a second, laugh taking over the silence in the air.

"yeah, i'm not his biggest fan either," he shrugs, gaze falling back onto you. hand on your hip pulls you closer to him, his body now pressed up on yours and for second you question whether you'll crumble under his touch. you had eyes like everyone else, to say he wasn't attractive would be a flat out lie. even if you didn't love that you thought so. "from what i saw earlier you don't let his opinion dictate your decisions anyways," his comment leaves you biting at your cheeks. eyes falling to the floor.

"i'm just not this girl," you finally pull yourself out of his grasp, once again straightening out your dress. heavy sigh falling from you, one you hadn't even realized you'd been holding in that entire time. eyes flutter as you look back at rafe. a disappointed look on his face.

"what kind of girl do you think i think you are?" he asked, sitting back down onto the bed. hands push into the bed as he leans back, eyes still very much so glued onto your figure. it makes you self conscious, even though no one's gaze has ever made you feel like that before.

"i don't know," you shrug, shifting in the spot you were standing in. "the type that would fuck you in a guest bedroom at a party," your brow raising at him and all he responds with is a laugh that almost makes you question if you made up everything that had just happened in the last few minutes.

"i wasn't going to fuck you," he his licks lips again, "i mean, i'd love to, but that wasn't the plan," he shrugs, your heart feels like it's about to fall out of your chest again at his words. a knowing look etched onto his features. you are too stunned by the whole interaction to even try to piece together another sentence.

"i won't make any moves," he holds up his hands before patting the space you once occupied on the bed. you look over at the door then back at rafe. "unless you think you'd have more fun out there," he leans over to grab the whsikey bottle set on the floor. bringing the bottle to pink lips as he looks you over, awaiting your decision. the look on his face lets you know he thinks he knows your choice before you even make it. rolling your eyes and settle back onto the bed, crossing your legs so that your facing him, hands quickly pulling at your dress to cover yourself as best as possible. admittedly, rafe had always intrigued you and he was right the two of you never had much time alone. only ever having interactions when you were with your respective friends.

"why aren't you trying to get back down there?" you ask, eyes searching his face for an answer before he gives you one, but he was always so hard to read. if you were going to spend your time with him, you'd mine as well shed the awkwardness you felt from being in a bedroom alone with him and just be yourself.

"the only reason i'm here is right in front of me," he smiled and weirdly he sounded genuine. you didn't understand.

"shut up," you laugh, slapping at his arm. "seriously?"

"i'm not joking," he laughed, arm reaching over towards you. free hand thumbs at your bottom lip. silently telling you to open up so he can pour some of the whiskey in your mouth for you. you follow his lead, tapping at his arm to tell him when to stop. "she can drink, huh?" he teases, giving you a playful nudge as you swallow the big pour he'd just given you. you just look at him for a second, you'd be lying if you said you knew where any of this was coming from. maybe you were just too drunk to accurately piece together what was actually happening.

"okay, so now that you got what you wanted from this party..." you start and you can feel the whiskey now taking it's toll on your brain. body heating up, although you can't decipher whether thats due to the alcohol or rafe training his gaze on you.

"i wouldn't say i got what i wanted," he picks up where your words left off. your bottom lip pokes out, now extremely confused. "not yet atleast," he shrugged, he leans over again placing the bottle back down on the floor but he doesn't go back to regaining the distance between the two of you. a comfortable distance might you add. his hand finds it's way back onto your hip as he pulls you down further onto the bed. laying you down onto the bed, his body hovering over you. you can feel your breath hitch under him, you're freaking out.

"rafe," you mumble as he runs his thumb over you lip.

"shh," he hums, taking in your how beautiful you look under him. "i want you, y/n." his voice gentle, a tone you'd never heard from him before now. it made your stomach rumble with butterflies. "but i won't do anything you don't want me to," his words sound like a promise and your heart tells you that you can trust him. his eyes search yours and before you can even catch yourself your hand snakes over the back of his neck. your lips pressing against his, he returns the kiss. the two of you moving in sync as his tongue darts in and out of your mouth. you're kissing rafe cameron and as quickly as the thought enters your mind it goes away when you feel his hands moving up and down your body.

the kiss growing deeper, both of you becoming more hungry for one another and it hits you in this moment...

so when they returned from the deserted island, when you found out they were all still alive and well. it felt as if you regained your lease on life.

“ wait, stop, “ you finally called out as the four of them frantically tried to figure out whether to keep waiting for jj and kiara or leave without them. they were once again planning on leaving to go find big john and although you understood the need for them to go save john b’s dad this was your chance to try and get them to stay. stay in the safety of kildare. you had to atleast try.

“ maybe this is, i don’t know, like a sign you guys should stay, “ you shrug, once they’ve all gone silent. each one vigorously shaking their heads.

“ no shot, “ john b says almost immediately. 

“ yeah, no we have to go, “ sarah, pope, and cleo all say nearly in sync. immediately your chest deflates. you don’t get another chance to speak before the revving of a bike catches all of your attention. 

“ you got to be kidding me, “ pope exclaims. “ i thought he wasn’t apart of this, ” john b turns to sarah who shakes her head, a clear look of confusion etched onto her face once it becomes clear the riders are rafe and ward. you keep your mouth shut, a bit shocked to actually see ward after all this time. after all you had believed everyone you were currently on the landing strip with were dead just a week or so ago. it was still all too much to take in sometimes. Only pulling yourself out of your state of shock when rafe gets into john b’s face. 

“ get away from him, “ you yell, pushing rafe away from him. “ go john b, “ you call out to him a nod to silently ask him to stay safe, “ go “. he returns the nod before disappearing into the plane. 

“ you getting sick of them leaving you behind all the time, or what ? “ rafe’s voice pierces your ears and you turn to look at him. the things you would do to smack that nauseating smirk from his face. “ the only thing i’m sick of is you, “ you snap back at him, rolling your eyes as you start in the opposite direction. 

“ what’re you just gonna walk home from here? “ he calls out, a chuckle coming from him. you ready yourself to simply ignore him, when you spot police lights heading in the direction of the strip. “ can’t imagine mrs. and mr. y/l/n will be too happy about you getting dropped off by the  police , “ he continues to prod at you, even with the engine of his bike revving. the mention of your parents is the only thing that makes your steps come to a halt. as annoying as it might have been to admit, he was right. 

“ fine, “ you huff, staring back toward him. “ c’mon , “ a usual impatience lingering in his voice as he hands you over a helmet. hopping on you reluctantly wrap your arms around his torso as he pulls off, getting the two of you out of there much quicker than your legs ever could have. “ hold tight, y/n “ a glance from him shoots back at you for a second. just long enough for you to catch that horrendous smirk of his once again. “ just bring me home, “ you groan, eyes fluttering closed as you continue to hold onto him. feeling his muscles flexing under his shirt with every turn he took. it was hard not to notice but you didn’t let your mind harp on it for too long, he was rafe cameron after all. he’s done so many terrible things to your friends, to his own sister, that one ride home could never make up for.

next morning   

you were set to meet a few friends at the country club, opting out of taking your jeep and taking the walk there instead. clearing your head from everything that had happened in the last week. life was never boring when the pogues were around but when they were gone, you felt as if you fell right back into the way things were meant to be, according to your parents. all the life on the island seemingly felt as if it was sucked out and now the countdown until they returned would start for you, all over again. 

“ y/n/n! “ is called out by a regrettably familiar voice. heavy sigh falling from you as you turn to face him.

“ what do you want rafe? “ arms falling by your side. 

“ i-i just wanted to talk you real quick, you know…” he shrugs, sending a smile your way. “ yeah, no, not really in the mood right now, “ you roll your eyes, turning around to head into the country club. 

“ hey, “ his hand taking a hold of your shoulder. you quickly pull yourself from his touch, “ don’t touch me, “ your voice raising a few octaves making him look around to assure you hadn’t brought too much attention to the two of you. 

“ i know you hate me, you have every right to, “ he starts, rubbing his hand on his cheek. “ understatement of the century, “ you interject. “ yeah, sure, “ he nods, the annoyance growing in his face. “ you won’t even give me a chance to tell my side though, “ his words pull a shocked look from you. why on earth would you owe him a chance to explain himself, you knew what he did, no explanation needed. 

“ from what i can see, y/n , your precious pogues and my sister aren’t here , so would it kill you to just talk to me for a second ? “ he quizzes , motioning for the two of you to head up to the bar. a twist of your lips as you glance up at the balcony then back over toward rafe. 

“ you have ten minutes, then you leave me alone for good, okay? “ you groan, giving in to that sad puppy dog face he likes to put on. “ okay, okay “ he nods, hands rubbing together as the two of you make your way up. you spot your group of friends off in the corner, both you and rafe giving them a wave and the looks of confusion on their faces become apparent. everyone on the island knew how much you hated rafe, you never shied away from hiding that fact. so seeing you with him at any point was enough to strike a bit of confusion in anyone, even fellow kooks. 

the two of you take a seat, quickly greeted by one of the bartenders, “ ms. y/l/n, mr. cameron, “. you both put in your orders and you shift on your barstool, “ okay time starts now , “ you tell him with a raised brow. 

“ i’m a victim too in all of this, “ his voice low as he starts. you can’t help but to let out a laugh. “ you have to be kidding me right ? “ you scoff, you’d actually given him a chance to speak whatever piece he thought he had to say and this is how he chooses to go about things. it was a joke. “ just listen, please, “ he huffs, holding his hands out to tell you to stop. 

you decide to listen. 

he goes on about his dad, the pressure he feels everyday, and how each and everytime he tries to do the right thing it seemingly gets thrown in his face. before you know it you’re ignoring the timer on your phone reminding you his ten minutes is up. for once you were actually listening to him, not judging him or wondering how anyone would look at you for so much as giving him a second thought and you could feel your heart strings tug for him. the two of you were the same age and he’d been through so much in the last couple of years, albeit he’d also gotten away with literal murder. 

“ you can’t just lash out whenever you feel like someone isn’t treating you the way you deserve, “ you finally tell him, coming to the end of your second drink. rafe’s hand raising to get the bartender’s attention to bring over another round for the two of you. you give him a smile and he smiles back, you can almost see the sense of relief in his face as he realizes you heard him, genuinely heard him.

” can i ask you something ? “ you say breaking the silence that comes over the two of you, hand fiddling with the glass in front of you. “ a-anything, “ rafe nods . 

“ why me ? like, why do you care so much about me hearing you out ? “ it was a genuine question, your eyes searching his for any inkling that he was readying himself to make up some stupid lie. “ i don’t know, “ he shrugs, looking down at his glass before bringing it to his lips. gulping down the liquid before his gaze rises back up to you. 

“ i don’t care what those pogues think of me or my sister, “ he starts, your head tilting from side to side to silently say he’d made that rather clear. “ but i can’t stand you hating me, y/n, i just… “ rafe’s voice becomes more breathy as he closes his eyes to hold his composure for a second, “ i just need you to understand. “ rafe’s voice cracked with his last words and for once you didn’t feel the need to roll your eyes at him or question the motives behind his emotions. 

reaching your hand over the table to take his, smile surfacing on your features. “ hey, look at me, rafe, “ a whispered tone falling from your lips. once he’s fixed his gaze on yours you give his hand a small squeeze. “ i understand, “ you assure him , “ you just want to do right by your dad, that doesn’t make you a bad person, okay? “ you continue, you can’t pinpoint what you’re more shocked by - the words coming out of your mouth or the fact that you meant every word.

standing up from your spot across from him, you make your way around the table, wrapping your arms around him. “ you’re not a bad person rafe, “ you sigh, his head leaning into your chest , “ you hear me ? “

he nods before rising from his seat and wrapping strong arms around you, “ promise me, “ rafe starts, but then pulls away to look you in your eyes. his blue eyes were piercing and you wonder how you never noticed how beautiful they were before today. it feels as if waves are crazy over you as he does, washing away all of the hatred you’d talked yourself into feeling towards him. “ promise me, you won’t just go back to hating me, “ his eyes now searching yours as he awaits, notably impatient for your response.

your head falling as you let out a small laugh , “ i don’t think i could if i wanted to, rafe, “ you admit, a spark of fear flares inside of you when it hits you then when your friends return you could very well have alot of explaining to do.  

Hopping in your white jeep wrangler, smiling to yourself as you revved the engine. The idea of seeing Rafe after a few days making you instantly question why you were even mad at him in the first place.

The Cameron's wasn't all that far from your residence, so the drive was short. Likely for the best, not allowing you time to grew nervous. Sure, you hadn't reached out to Rafe since the fight but neither did he. What if he didn't miss you like he missed you? You shook the thought away, already making your way towards the front door. Normally you would just walk into the house, Rafe and Sarah often doing the same when visiting you but tonight felt a little different. So you rung the doorbell, waiting anxiously with your fingers intertwined with one another. The door swung open revealing a skeptical looking Wheezie.

"Why-" before she could start her usual line of questioning, you cut her off, already looking past the younger girl.

"Is Rafe here?" You asked, already stepping into the house, as Wheezie side stepped to allow you in.

"Yeah, he's upstairs," she started, you were already making your way up the stairs in unison with her words.

"But i don't think-" she let her hands fall to her sides in defeat once she noticed you were already out of sight. "I don't think he can talk right now," she mumbled to herself, before making her way back over to the living room, to finish whatever showed she was invested in before your arrival.

You opened the door to your boyfriends room to just to find an empty room, your brows furrowing together in confusion. Did Wheezie lie to you? Before you could go confront Wheezie you heard shouting coming from down the hall.

"Ward?" You mumbled to yourself, walking over to the closed door. Ward's office on the other end.

"It was only a matter of time," the voice sounding much like Rose's. You put your ear closer to the door to get a more clear range of the twos conversation. You had always been a rather nosy girl, your parents always told you it'd get you into trouble sooner or later.

"Not now," Ward groans, clearly anxious.

"Then when, Ward? What if he does something like this again? I'm not going down for him. I won't lie for him," Rose's voice going up a few octaves. Your bloody boiling a bit at the way Rose spoke about Rafe. She'd never really liked Rafe, everyone knew that and because of how obvious she made her feeling for him you never really cared for the women.

"He's my son!" Ward shouted back.

"He murdered someone...not just anybody either," you immediately froze at Rose's words. There was no way. Yeah, you knew he had some demons much to your dismay if often resulted in him getting into fights but this?

"Y/N," you heard a husky voice coo from behind you. Quickly whipping around to find your boyfriend. The murderer, if you asked Rose.

"Rafe... hi," you choked out, running your hands through your hair as you tried to process what you just heard.

"What're you doing here, sweetheart," ruffling his wet hair with his towel as he motioned you to follow him into his room. You followed him, despite wanting to hear more of the conversation between Rose and Ward.

"Uh, i came to talk you," you told him, standing at the door to his room awkwardly. He looked at you confused, shaking his head with a slight smirk on his face. You normally made yourself comfortable on his bed within seconds of walking into the dimly lit room, so you statuesque stance was certainly abnormal.

"Talk to me about what?" Dropping his towel and tossing it into the laundry basket, grabbing the boxers the he likely laid out on his bed before hoping int the shower and pulling them on, not before you could get a couple moments in of gawking at the godly physique you often found yourself under.

"Like what you see?" he chuckled, peeking over at you, before slipping on sweatpants and a tan striped t-shirt.

Yes. You thought to yourself.

You gave him a small smile as he made his way over to you, his blue orbs searching yours.

"I've missed you," his voice was much more sentimental than it had been. His hand finding it usual place on your cheek. You leaned into his palm for a moment before Rose's words rang through your ears. He murdered someone. Gulping down what help like a golf ball, you pushed a smile onto your face.

"I missed you too, baby," it was the truth you did miss him, but these weren't necessarily the circumstances you expected to be having this conversation in. Standing face to face with the man you loved who may or may not have killed someone. Before you could say anything else, his lips collided with yours, a hungry kiss that you reciprocated. His arms wrapping around your waist as he lifted you up off the floor slightly.

He murdered someone. Sang in your ears once again.

"Stop," you mumbled into his lips, "stop, stop," you cried out, shoving him away from you. Rafe stumbled back, leaving a rather big space between the two of you. The look on his face flashed with annoyance, then sadness.

"Do you not want me to touch you or something?" He sighed, plopping down on the foot of his bed, shaking his head in frustration. "You can't still be mad at me..."

You didn't respond. You didn't know what to say. Part of you wanted to run out the front door, get in your car and go back home to your parents. Forget tonight ever even happened. If you were lucky, you'd wake up and realize it was all just a bad dream. Then before you could even realize what you were saying, your mouth was moving.

"Who was it?" Your voice was a bit stern. Something Rafe only really ever experienced with you at parties when you tried to pull him away from the white powder that often ruled his nights.

"What?" He looked at you confused, his face said it all, he didn't appreciate your accusatory tone.

"I heard Rose and Ward..." you breathed, "who was it Rafe?" His face dropped at the sound of your words. In an instant you regretted bringing it up, letting him know you knew.

"Y/N, i don't know what your talking about..." he was now standing, his head shaking slightly at you. He wanted to believe you were talking about something else, he was praying you were talking about something else.

"I think you do," you nodded, pools beginning to form in your eyes.

"Y/N..." his voice was low, as he slowly started toward you. Your body immediately taking a couple steps back, only for you to find yourself pushed up against the door.

"Rafe," your voice almost inaudible, as the tears finally rushed down your warm cheeks.

"Baby, listen to me," he pleaded, allowing a small amount of space between the two of you. Knowing putting his hands on you in this moment wouldn't get him any where.

"Did you do it?" you were able to choke out. Your eyes now searching his, they gave him away before he could so much as open his mouth.

"Oh my god," you breathed out, frantically grabbing at the door knob and slipping out of his room.

"Y/N!" Rafe called out, running after you, before you could so much as make your way down the stairs he wrapped you up in his arms hushing you until you brought you back into his room.

"Rafe let me the fuck go," you squirmed your way out of his grasp. Stumbling onto his bed, once his hands where off of you.

"Will you stop!" He shouted, running his hands through his already tousled hair. Trying to think. You just stayed where you were, tears still streaming as the boy you loved seemingly morphed into a monster right before your eyes.

"I didn't mean to," he said through gritted teeth. "I was trying to help my dad," he continued, "i saved him."

"Me," he said digging his finger into his chest.

"Rafe..." you mumbled, your eyes softening on the boy before you. He seemingly was shape shifting with every word that came out, now turning from a monster to the lost boy you often saw when he was being berated by his father.

"Y/N... i didn't mean to," he breathed out, tears welling up in his eyes.

You found yourself getting up from the stop you'd manage to find some sort of comfort in, making your way over to Rafe. Your hands holding his face in between them.

"Okay...okay, i'm listening," you breathed out the shock and fear that initially coursed through your body. If there was one thing the boy before you could do well was make you putty in his hands. This moment only proved that further. Any sane person would scream or call the cops, but instead you stood there ready to hear the boy you loved out.

"Come on," you dropped your hands from his face, not before thumbing away the tears that threatened to stain his now red cheeks. Taking his hands in yours as you pulled him over to his bed, the two of you sitting side by side as you waiting for him to explain the events that took place.

How the sheriff had a gun pointed at his dad. How he wanted her to make it to the hospital in time but she didn't. How he was just trying to help his dad get out of a bad situation. None of it was okay. That you were sure of, but there was one more thing you were sure as the boy now laid his head in your your hands massaging through his hair - you didn't want to see him go down for this.

"We'll figure this out," you mumbled, kissing his temple as your brain was finally able to process everything he'd just told you.

"We?" His eyes fixated on you now.

"You and me against the world, remember?" You reminded him, a comforting smile coming to your face.

"Y/N..." he shook his head slightly, not wanting you to have anything to do with this.

"Rafe, stop." You huffed, "i love you, this doesn't change that," you assured him.

"It's over...like it's really over," you whispers in defeat. You and Sarah had always been close, since the two of you were little. And although she was the one to introduce you to her older brother she was also the same person to warn you it could never end well with Rafe. You of course, swept up in the boys beautiful blue eyes ignored her warnings. Then ensued the last few years of your life. Months filled with extreme highs, that always followed closely by extreme lows. It was...quite the adventure, as your mom would have liked to call it.

"Come on," Sarah motions you to come inside with her. Taking the box from your hands and setting it down near the door. "You shouldn't be alone right now," she reminded you as the two of you made your way up to her room. Your eyes landing on the door to Rafe's room. It was quiet now. No screaming or scattered belongings. Nothing. You swallowed what felt like a lump in your throat as Sarah closed the door to her room behind the two of you.

At the same as Sarah's door closed, Rafe resurfaced from his room. Eyes bloodshot, as he scanned the area. Letting out a deep sigh as he made his way down the stairs, grabbing the keys to his motorbike but quickly stopping in his tracks when he saw the box of your belongings. With a purse of his lips he looked around, almost frantically as if he were going to see you somewhere. Of course, he didn't though. Rafe peeks out the window, to see yours and Sarah's cars both parked in the driveway.

Might be late.

Is all he texts to Topper, who was probably already complaining to Kelce about how flighty Rafe was all the time.

Making his way back up the stairs, with a bit more pep in his step than previously. He leans up against the door frame, hoping to hear the two girls, he presumed with just behind the door.

"He called me a liar," you tell her with a sadness in your eyes that was heartbreaking for even Sarah to see. Her and her brother never got along, their fight for Ward's love, that Sarah always came out on top of, was the catalyst for that. Despite that, she understood that you loved him and although she didn't love seeing him always hurting you, she knew you not having him to call yours hurt more than anything he'd ever done in the past.

"It was a straightening iron burn, Sarah, a freaking burn," you groaned, your head falling into your delicate hands.

Rafe, on the other side of the door, let his head fall at the words he'd just heard. The realization that the entire scene that took place in his room could've been avoided. "Shit," he mumbled to himself.

"Did you tell him that?" Sarah asked, taking a seat next to you. Her hand landing on your back, to console you a bit.

"No, he was too busy..." you shake your head, reliving him screaming in your face.

"Being a jealous ass hole?" she asked, in an attempt to finish your sentence for you. You just nod in response.

"Y/N, i dont want to be this person but-" you interrupt her, with a knowing roll of your eyes.

"You told me this couldn't end well, i know..." you concede, "but Sarah, i love him." You admit.

"Why?" Sarah groans, she could never understand the spell Rafe had put on you. "He's always making you cry, he treats you like your property, Y/N."

Rafe rolled his eyes as he listened to his sister speak poorly of him. It was nothing new but each time she did it, it enraged him a little more.

"He loves me," you shake your head, once again not wanting to hear what Sarah had to say about her brother. He did love you, in his own weird Rafe Cameron way. At least that's what you'd convinced yourself.

"No he loves himself, Y/N," Sarah corrected you, "he loves having someone there who he knows love him."

"I don't want to talk about this anymore," you pout with a shake of your head. Shutting down the conversation immediately.

"Uh...i'm just going to go home," you say getting up from the bed.

"Actually, i'd love if you came with me to the bonfire tonight..." Sarah offered. "You know? Get your mind off everything...see your friends who love you." She emphasized the word 'love'.

You ponder on the idea but before you can give an answer Sarah already have a big grin on her face, "it'll be great, i promise." She affirms, grabbing the keys to her car and waving them up in the air as an enticing gesture.

Rafe takes this as his cue to head back down stairs, pulling his phone out to text the boys.

On my way.

He hoped for once Sarah's persuasion would come in handy and he'd see you walking into the bonfire alongside her.

---

"I can't believe you talked me into this," you groan, stepping out of the car. The wave of rowdy party goers washing over your ears.

"It's going to be fun," she promises you, taking your hand in hers as the two of you made your way onto the beach.

"Woah, Y/N's here," Kelce says in a bit of shock. Prompting Rafe and Topper to both follow his eye line, their eyes landing on both you and Sarah. A small uptick to the corner of Rafe's lip.

"She came," he mumbles to himself.

"Y/N!" Topper calls out, motioning you over, almost as if he's forgotten the night at Kelce's all together. Kelce shoves him a bit in an attempt to knock some sense into him. You can't help but let a giggle out at the two boys now getting into a playful shoving match. The look on your face falling when your eyes land on Rafe, who is looking at you with confusingly hopeful eyes.

"This way," Sarah motions you over toward the pogues, shooting a weary look over at her brother.

At first you were pretty indifferent to the pogues. After all, your mom was once a pogue before she found her way out of The Cut and into the arms of your father. It wasn't until Sarah and John B started dating though, that you actually started a friendship with them.

"So she alive!" JJ teases as you integrate into the group of your friends. "The woes of heartbreak can't bring you down for long," he hands over a solo cup full of what you can only imagine is one of JJ's famous concoctions that would inevitably get you on your ass or worse, throwing up in a bush later in the night.

"JJ shut up," Kiara nudges him, sending your a small smile.

"No, no he's right, can't keep me down for too long," you said with a forced smile, tapping your cup against JJ's in an attempt to feel some sort of old normal.

You and the pogues start bouncing jokes back and forth, and you can't deny this is exactly what you needed. It was a breath of fresh air and you almost forgot about everything that had taken place in the last week.

"Can we talk?" You feel a hand slip onto your waist and your friends eyes narrow at the sight of your now ex boyfriend.

"Why do you always gotta try and ruin a good night?" JJ huffed, winning a glare from Rafe. He made the conscious decision not the respond and just looked back down at you, his eyes piercing through your soul. In that moment you knew you'd go off and talk to him. You didn't have it in you to say no to him, not when he looked at you like that. And you presumed that would forever be your downfall.

"Y/n," he whispered, holding his hand out for you to take. You take a deep breath looking at your friends then back a Rafe. "Five minutes," you tell him, placing your hand in his and he brings you out further towards where the water meets with the sand. A good enough distance to not be in earshot of anyone at the party.

"Why does he always get what he wants," Kiara complained, taking a sip of her drink as her eyes fixated on you and Rafe.

"Because she's wrapped around his finger," JJ swirls his index finger in the air. His words getting a roll of the eyes from Sarah and Kiara.

You look out at the water, then down at you sandals as you watch the small water of water wash away the sand the wedged itself between your foot and the revealing footwear.

"I don't want to argue," you tell him, still not making eye contact.

"I don't either," he shakes his head. Taking both your hands in his.

"Baby, why didn't you tell me?" He asks, his head dipping down a little trying to get a good look at your face.

He's calling you baby? Did he just tell you to leave his sight earlier in the night? You lift you head up to look at him, your heart dropping into your stomach as you see the small smile on his face. What is going on? You mentality question.

"Tell you what?" You search his eyes, waiting for his demeanor to change, but it doesn't. He stays soft, this was the look of the guy you loved. This was the guy you wish he could always be.

"That is was a fucking curling iron?" He laughs, pulling your hair away from your neck for a second to look at the burn mark. Your brows furrow as your glance over toward Sarah then back at Rafe.

"How? Who told you?" You look at him shocked. There was no way Sarah would've texted Rafe. The last thing she wanted was for you and her brother to get back together, you supposed for good reason.

"I might have over heard you," he bites his bottom lip, as his eyes darted out toward the water.

"You over heard me?" You couldn't help but laugh at his poor excuse. "You eavesdropped on me and Sarah," you accused him, although the smile on your face made it clear you weren't upset over his actions.

"Just a little," he smirked pushing his index finger and thumb together.

"Rafe!" you yell at him, slapping at his arm as you attempt to feign some sort of aggravation. He playfully cowers away from you, his hands falling to your hips as he does so.

"We're hitting now?" He laughs, before his expression gets a little more serious undertone to it.

"Baby, will you take me back?" He asks, as if he'd been waiting to get that question out since you showed up to the bonfire.

You look down, biting at your cheek.

"Y/n?" Rafe tries getting your attention, a look of worry etched onto his features.

"If i do, you have to promise this ridiculous jealousy is over...all it," you hold up your pinky waiting for him to seal the deal.

"I can make that promise, as long as you promise you'll leave this party with me," he holds up his own pinky giving you a smug look. You roll your eyes as the two of you wrap pinkys and kiss the ends of your fist.

"I can do that," you mumble into your hand.

A look of relief washes over Rafe's face as he wraps his arms around you waist, picking you up from off the sand, getting a small squeal to come out of you.

"You'll always be my girl, Y/N Y/L/N," he presses his lips against yours before you can even say anything in response. Your hands now intertwined in his brunette locks as you deepen the kiss between the two of you.

Flashback

You see Rafe make his way to the front door. The crowd of party goers huddled around after the embarrassing engagement between Figure 8's 'it couple'. Everyone's eyes burning holes into your soul.

"Come on," he hisses at you, as if the public argument hadn't been enough, now he just expected you to tuck your chin and follow him out.

You stand planted where you are. Sarah standing behind you, with arms crossed, "you don't have to go with him," she whispers to you, but he hears her.

"Sarah, shut the fuck up!" He shouts, making you jump.

"Let's go dammit!" He now shouts toward you, your eyes tearing up as you look at the wolf in sheeps clothing that has fooled you one too many times. Biting down on your bottom lip, you shake your head to his words. He looks at you in disbelief. Glancing around with a slight smirk on his face.

"No?" He runs his fingers through his hair, trying to get some sort of grasp on what was going on here.

"Y/N, if you don't come with me right now..." he trails off, sucking the tip of his thumb as his eyes fall to the floor for a moment, "we're done."

A tears burns it's way down your cheek. Gulping down the fear of losing someone you've been with for over two years. Losing your best friend.

"Then we're done," you mutter, before turning away and walking to the backyard with Sarah.

Present day

The break up replayed in your head over and over again. You retreated to yourself entirely because of it. You didn't answer you friends calls or texts, sat in silence at family dinner. Things were bad.

Your phone goes off as you lay in your bed, like you have the last few days, just staring at the picture frame with you and Rafe in it. A new text message pops up, from none other than Rafe himself, following a slew of other unanswered texts from the last few days.

Why didn't you just come with me? Y/n? Please just talk to me. When do you think you can come grab your shit? Are you just going to ignore me forever? If you have time come buy to grab your stuff i'll be around for a while...

You did want to grab your things from the house. That made everything too concrete. The last thing you wanted was to come to terms with the fact that you and Rafe were no longer together. It was just too much...but you did want to see him. You missed his beautiful blue eyes, the way the corners of his lips upticked when you made a bad joke, the way his hair perfectly framed his face. You missed him and this was at the moment the only way you could see him. So you texted him back.

I can head over in like 15.

You find the strength to get up from the hollow comfort of your bed. There was no way you could head over there in the state you were in now. As you looked in the mirror all you saw was a broken girl, who looked an absolute mess.

You started running the shower. After some time you turn the water off, wrapping a towel around you as you start getting ready.

"Shit!" You yelp, dropping the straightener on the counter. A burn now present on your neck, makes you give up on the efforts to straighten you hair and decide to simply pull your hair up in a ponytail. It's not like it mattered what you looked like, you were simply just picking up your things from Tanneyhill, right?

"I'll be home in a bit," you call out to your parents as you walk out to your car. Once you get inside it takes you a second to drive away, the fear of this being the last time you see Rafe starting to finally set in.

You blast Olivia Rodrigo as you make you way down to the Cameron house. Holding tears in the entire time because the last thing you wanted was for Rafe to see that you were upset.

I'm outside.

You send him. Consciously not getting out of your car until he opened the front door for you. The second you noticed the door crack open, you let out a deep sigh, trying to convince yourself this was going to go well.

"Hey," you give him a small smile as you walk past him and into his house.

"Hey."

The two of you make it up to his room and your eyes land on the box full of your things. Your eyes look up at Rafe, his eyes blankly staring at the same box. With a little shake of your head you make your way over to it, picking it up and it felt like the weight of your entire relationship laid in your hands.

"Rafe..." You start, but he cuts you off before you can get anything else out.

"I don't want to lose you," he blurts out. His words making you stop in your tracks, feeling a sense of relief wash over you. You close your eyes trying to get a grasp on the moment.

"I don't want to lose you either," you admit, dropping the box in your hands down to the side, freeing your hands to wrap them around Rafe in a big hug. Feeling his arms snake around your waist was something you'd longed for, for days now.

"I missed you so much, Rafe," you pull away a little, just to get a good look at him. The smile on his face dropping slightly as his eyes glaze over.

"Did you?" his words like two daggers that shot straight into your heart. He drops his hands from your waist, taking a few steps away, to revert back to the former space between the two of you.

"Yes..." you mumble, an obvious look of confusion washing over your face as you watch him begin to stalk around, a almost unnoticeable shake to his head as he does so.

"THEN WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT!" He screams , hand pointing at your neck. You jump from his sudden outburst, wrapping your arms around yourself to try an give yourself some sort of comfort.

"What'd you do? Go run off with the fucking pogue from the party!" He accused you, a look of absolute disgust in his face as he looked at the girl he loved.

"W-what are you talking about?" You voice much lower than his, the dynamic of your relationship for the last few years painted perfectly in the scene taking place in the room.

"YOUR NECK! You're fucking neck, Y/N..." he shouts, now closing the gap between the two of you, to tap his index finger along your neck, "do you think i'm stupid?" His voice cracking, but the anger in his face was still very much so present. You shake your head in response to him, feeling yourself grow smaller as he hovers over you.

"I-i don't..." your voice trails off as you turn to look in the mirror in his room, your eyes landing on the burn mark.

"Yeah," he chuckles to himself, more in disgust than anything. He steps up behind you and you feel a strong hand grab at your chin, your immediate instinct is to close your eyes as you let out a quite whimper.

"You didn't even try to cover that shit," he gritted his teeth.

"Rafe, i didn't do anything!" You cry out, pushing him off of you. His anger boiling up, as your rolls his head back.

"Stop fucking lying to me," he says out of gritted teeth, it doesn't take him long to close the gap between the two of you. You try to regain that space between you two, but you find yourself pushed up against the desk in his room.

"Stop the bullshit!" He yells in your face. You bite down on your bottom lip, tears threatening to fall from your eyes. You're afraid. Both of what he's going to do as you watch him get angrier and angrier and of the possibility of really losing him.

"I love you," you mutter, not able to fully project your voice. "I would neve-" he interrupts you before you can get another word out though.

"STOP!" He pushes the limits of how high his voice can go, hands now pressed against his temples. "You're a liar!" He tells you, eyes looking directly into yours. The tears that were once caged behind your eyes now break the barrier and start overflowing, leaving streams of wet on your cheeks.

"Just fucking leave," he grumbles, turning away from you. You look down at the floor, then glance back up at Rafe in hopes he'd turned back to you but he hasn't.

"I do love you Rafe..." you whisper, picking up the box of your belongings, "i always will." You say before walking out of his bedroom, the tears still streaming down your cheeks. As you make your way down the stairs, you hear the loudest, most heartbreaking scream echo throughout Tanneyhill, followed by the sound of things shattering on the floor.