absolute dork

you know you are really being very solipsistic and self-centred right now. the universe is vast and you are not the protgaonist of every story. have you considered that from some prespectives, the radiator is being handcuffed to you?

religion is so fucking funny the world is just too beautiful there must be a higher entity behind all this. lets oppress women

well if there's no girls in it then it automatically sucks shit okays?

sometimes i struggle to use the word ‘bootlicker’ in a negative sense because of sexual desires i will not disclose here

Is it licking boots?

because of sexual desires i will not disclose here.

perish the thought, dude. *playfully pushes you by the shoulder* haha, like, cease these peculiarities. *becomes extremely violent and starts hitting you with heavy fists without provocation* disabuse that fucking notion

defunctland episode released immediately upon your death chronicling all failed career paths and relationships and somehow michael eisner is still at fault

has anyone noticed that sometimes you take incorrect or undesirable actions instead of the correct and desirable ones? what's up with that

if christopher nolan was really the visionary and ground-breaking director everyone claims he is he would have cast ben affleck as penelope

a concert you're no longer at is a kind of dead wife

humans werent "built" or "designed" to do anything. we just have a natural incentive to fuck kinda good and not die in the woods. and people die in the woods all the time and are asexual so

I like when you click a link and it turns purple its like youre bruising it