The Anxious Octopus

Personally I’d like to thank S5 E6 of Slow Horses for basically confirming that the only thing that’s stopping Jackson from being openly in love with Catherine is because the last time he allowed someone in like that, they got quite literally and physically ripped away from him right in front of his eyes 🥲

I don't even necessarily ship them but YES, it explains so much about Jackson and why Slough House exists in the first place.

Jackson Lamb: [shuts himself away in a fortress of fuck-ups, grossness and assholishness in an effort to push everyone away after years of trauma and torture from being a spy in the Cold War because he can't bear to lose anyone else he cares about.]

I absolutely love the difference in the way that Jackson Lamb and River Cartwright go about being spies.

No because imagine you're benjamin linus, proving yourself over and over and over, dedicating your life to a cause, to a person, believing you were chosen for something and leading with that thought. And then A MAN crashed from A PLANE and he suddenly CAN WALK AFTER 4 YEARS OF BEING PARALYZED. And that man sees things and is more of a chosen one than you ever were and ever will be and slowly but surely he starts taking your place. And what are you left with? A tumor in your spine.

And then you confront your father deity about it and it turns out oops he never loved you or cared about you and your entire life (including the death of your daughter) from the age of like 11 was all just manipulation to await This Other Guy who is apparently more important and worthy of love and you cannot undo any of the terrible things you did to try and earn his attention?

Rewatching One Of Them for the first time in years and even knowing that 'Henry' is lying through his teeth, the way Sayid jumps to torture SO FAST is kind of hilarious.

Also you've go to hand it to Ben because I can't imagine he planned on them going to torture so quickly upon his arrival. Like he probably assumed they'd be a bit suspicious of him and question him so he could earn their trust a bit before building to that as a worst-case scenario - but no, IMMEDIATELY gets shot with an arrow, beaten into unconsciousness multiple times and threatened with pliers by a grieving Sayid before the day was out.