Artemissa97

I think what’s delicious about Ilya is his self worth related to these concepts. He thinks he’s lazy, messy, undisciplined. You listen, you don’t soeak. Yes. You need a haircut. Yes, Father. The problem is leadership. Yes, nod, yes. But repeatedly we are shown that Ilya is good. He’s an attentive lover, he’s a good friend. He tries to be a good son to a hard man. He gives his brother whatever he asks for. He inspires his teammates. He worries that Ryan Price’s book will fall on the floor and oh fuck Price is going to lose his place, I will help, oh fuck, I failed.

But his family tells him he’s no good, so it must be true. They have been the loudest voices in his life and that’s literally become his inner monologue. But then here comes Shane “I don’t know that side of you at all” Hollander and soon enough Ilya is monologuing into the phone on the street outside of his father’s funeral about how actually no. He’s given everything to his family. He makes everything perfect. And he couldn’t physically be there for his father all the time but he paid for it all. And yet they despise him. He knows why, or says he does. But I don’t think does, I think in that moment the seed is planted that Ilya is lovable. And he doesn’t have to be perfect, he doesn’t have to drain himself dry. The person who loves him is trying to fill his cup from thousands of miles away.

The Ilya we see in Heated rivalry would not be throwing the first punch, he's not an enforcer. Ilya is a star center and a Pest. He wouldn't be doing his job correctly if he was punching players every other game, it would end up with not enough ice time to let him be the playmaker he's paid to be.

But being a pest can be playmaking! Find a player to bait, emotionally push them just enough that they try to fight you, and then get the fuck out of there before the ref gives you both penalties. This gets your team the power play. There is probably someone on Ilya's line dedicated to helping him get out of the fights he starts, and finishing them for him!

I also think this is also something that Shane would respect. Ilya is good at it and it's a good strategy for his team. I don't think Shane would see it as some dirty tactic, because Shane probably thinks everyone with a brain can see it for what it is! He probably thinks everyone should be able to see that being an asshole is a tactic for Ilya, that it's something to ignore and not fall for, that it's a strategy and not personal beef.

Hi bugggybabe! I’m sorry things are tough, here’s something warm and horny and sweet for ya ❤️‍🔥

“It’s cold” Shane’s voice is a low simper, and Ilya turns his head once he hears it. His boy is here.

His heart brightens, chest warm at the creak of the outdoor floorboard under his foot. His boy is here!

Ilya shifts from where he’s sat on the rocking chair they’d put out here last summer. (They’d been watching a movie at Ilya’s place in Boston- Ilya can’t remember what but there had been a scene of a character sitting in a rocking chair watching the sunrise, drinking a coffee. Shane had sighed and snuggled closer to Ilya and said “that looks nice baby”. And Ilya knew Shane was thinking about their summer mornings together, curled up on the large rock by the lake, or sat on the deck or the outdoor lounge watching the sun rise up over the water. It would be nice, Ilya thought, a big wicker chair for the pair of them that they could gently rock in, share coffee while they watched the first light of the day. Ilya had gotten one made for them for Christmas, handmade big enough to fit them tangled up on it together. It had been waiting on the deck when they arrived this summer, and Shane had been glowing with happiness to see it in person.)

He watches Shane shuffle across the deck to him from where he’d walk out of the home. He had the blanket from the end of their bed wrapped around him, thick and fluffy soft, Shane’s favourite, and Ilya could see the peak of his bare chest under it, his sweatpants slung low on Shane’s hips. Shane’s breath clouded out in a haze into the fresh morning air, and Ilya took a slow drag of the cigarette he’d been smoking, savoured the hum of the nicotine as he savoured the site of his boy sleep disheveled and summer tanned, half asleep walking over to him. Ilya can’t believe it sometimes, that Shane is his. What they have.

“Come here then, get warm” Ilya says, motions to his lap, arm spread to the side and he exhales the smoke before he stubs out his cigarette on the side of his mug of coffee and drops it to the small side table it was resting on.

Shane wrinkles his nose at the smell of the smoke and Ilya hopes his boy is feeling sweet enough to kiss him despite the taste. He didn’t expect Shane to join him out here, he expected to have time to brush his teeth and use mouthwash before he crawled into bed to pout and ask for morning kisses.

With a huff, Shane is standing between the spread of Ilya’s knees, and Ilya can see the softness of his chest, his stomach, the skin goose bumped in the breeze. Ilya can’t wait any longer to touch him.

“Here” Ilya says again, looks down at his own lap and back up to Shane before he shoves his hands under Shane’s blanket cape to grab at his hips. He’s so fucking warm, his skin is so fucking soft it makes Ilya feel hungry. Fuck he loves him. He squeezes Shane’s hips hard, and Shane just grunts, takes a small step closer and then he’s placing himself in Ilya’s lap because he’s a good boy. Ilya leans up and smudges a kiss to his chin as a reward.

Finn will forever stay my favorite SW character, and it will always annoy me that Kylo Ren is more beloved and hailed as such a complex character over Finn—and this is coming from someone who does appreciate Kylo's character, for the most part.

the thing is I love it when things are bad and make my tummy hurt, and most of these thoughts come more from a rod sterling viewing an especially fucked up episode of the twilight zone place, but since you asked so nicies I can do my best to play sweeties :-)

With any argument about Irina I think that this does end with Ilya storming out into their backyard, which Shane lets happen because he doesn't ever want to start a fight about Ilya's mom and he knows that it's not him its everything else. And so he lets Ilya cool down for a little bit and then follows him out to the patio where Ilya is smoking his second or third cigarette and Shane sits next to him and goes, "Hey, I'm sorry." and Ilya nods and his eyes are red but he's not crying and Shane puts his hand in his curls and goes, "Your mom was really lucky to have you, you know that?" and then Ilya is crying and Shane pulls him into his chest and strokes his back while the forgotten cigarette smolders out on the flagstone.

Okay with Shane's competely spiraling about Ilya letting him win, I do think Ilya is panicking because he knows its not about him throwing a game of rummy its the trip its their careers its the implications about everything and I do think he is able to pull the "Why don't you just get on your knees, Hollander?" and it does work because Shane needs to stop thinking right now which is why Ilya thinks he can pull it out later which he cannot. But he will learn that lesson.

Svetlana (who Shane is still a little uneasy about) drops the "Ilya almost killed himself when we were teens" lore when they are sitting in the living room, all a little drunk or a little high, and Ilya makes a stupid joke about it and then Shane is crying and then Ilya is crying because Shane is crying and then Svetlana is crying because damn it she almost couldn't break that door down and they are all crying smashed together on their couch and anya starts barking really loud because she doesn't know what is happening and they all have to untangle to calm her down. The next session with Galina Ilya brings up that he has been thinking about maybe trying medication.

Yeah the "Get on your knees, Hollander." fight is only resolved in couples counseling.

this is such a beautiful question thank you so much for coming to me with this 🙏 I think most of their fights are like Ilya needling and Shane going, "Do you ever shut the fuck up?" and then they don't talk for 10 minutes to 2 hours and come back and give half-hearted apologies that are mostly more because they are embarrassed than because they're actually sorry, but here are my top five actual blow up fights not in any actual order:

Ilya is telling Shane about how he used to skip school on his mama's bad days where she wouldn't be able to get out of bed and make her tea and Shane makes a face and says, "You shouldn't have had to take care of her. You were just a kid."

When Shane finds out Ilya let him win at rummy one time (because he didn't want to play the stupid card game, Hollander) and it deteriorates into yelling about if he let him win here, where the fuck else did he let him win?

Reoccurring blow up fights about Ilya going on medication that usually something like "I don't want to rely on pills for the rest of my life, Shane." "Well its that or I fucking uninstall the locks on the bathroom, Ilya!". These get especially worse after Svetlana visits and lets slip the one time Ilya did swallow a bunch of pills and she had to break down the bathroom door and stick her fingers down his throat when they were 15.

They are already having a fight about something (Shane scheduling a sponsorship meeting on a day off, Ilya telling the Centaurs that he can't go out because Shane won't let him, if Shane is being too hard on Haas, etc.) and Ilya goes, "Why don't you just get on your knees, Hollander?" and Shane is immediately madder than he's ever been in his entire life.

2014

The panic sets in the day after Vegas.

Shane is honestly surprised it took so long. It feels like Rozanov managed to fuck all of the anxiety and second-guessing out of his body, and it's only now with a little distance that they can come back.

And they do come back, with a vengeance, because oh my god what the fuck was that?

Shane didn't know sex could be like that. So intense that his brain would shut off, that he'd loose control of his own reactions. He didn't know it was possible to have that kind of chemistry with someone you'd never slept with before. Rozanov touched him like he knew exactly how he liked to be touched, did things even Shane didn't know he wanted.

It's never been like this with Brian.

Shane feels so guilty thinking it, he could throw up.

I had to turn this off, but it's something that allows Windows and anyone using your device to generate text/images.

Boyfriend is out and Shane is not (for obvious reasons) and while this doesn't necessarily make for an unhealthy relationship Boyfriend is, as established, an asshole. He's not shy about reminding Shane of how lucky he is that he puts up with the secrecy and how impossible it would be for Shane to find someone else in his situation.

They've also been together since they were teenagers so Boyfriend is the only guy Shane has ever been with and the only one who knows Shane is gay, which also means that Shane has no one to talk to about any misgivings he might have about the relationship.

The story is the same as in canon from Ilya's perspective until the CCM commercial when he hits on Shane in the shower and Shane, visibly into Ilya and fighting with himself internally, tells him he can't because he has a boyfriend. Then he panics about what he just told Ilya but Ilya promises not to tell anyone - they have the same secret, after all. Sure he's disappointed but he can always find other people to fuck (that hollow feeling in his chest feels like a lot more than just disappointment but Ilya ignores that).

Every time Shane and Ilya catch a moment alone over the next couple of years, Ilya asks Shane if he's still with the boyfriend and the answer is always yes. Around the third time, Shane is feeling vulnerable because they just had a fight the week before and Boyfriend has been ignoring him and he doesn't have anyone to talk to about how awful he feels, and he just kind of. Starts telling Ilya about it.

And Ilya listens and then tells Shane, "He sounds like an asshole."

Shane feels conflicted about this comment because on the one hand, it kind of confirms what he's been thinking, but on the other Ilya doesn't actually know Boyfriend and all he has is information from a very biased source.

"He's not," Shane finally says. "We just got into an argument. Couples fight."

Ilya wants very much to disagree, because Hollander sounds fucking miserable talking about this guy, but he wisely concludes that this would just make Shane dig his heels in further and refrains.

Despite Shane's protests, every time Ilya asks him about his boyfriend after that he looks more tired. This guy also clearly makes him insecure as hell and Ilya hates seeing the effect he has, making Shane fucking Hollander carry himself like he's two inches tall and trying to disappear.

Ilya is itching to tell Shane to dump Boyfriend, to find someone who'll treat him like he deserves. Whenever he indirectly broaches the topic though, Shane gets defensive, and Ilya doesn't want to push it because as much as he'd like to get Shane away from this guy (and into his own bed) he also doesn't want Shane to shut him out and isolate himself even further.

Then comes the day when Shane actually approaches Ilya first. He looks nervous but determined and at first, Ilya thinks this is it. He finally remembered that he's Shane fucking Hollander and kicked that guy to the curb.

What Shane tells him isn't quite that. Ilya still perks up, because he cannot believe that Boyfriend, this absolute piece of shit moron, suggested opening the relationship and delivered Shane to Ilya on a silver platter.

Because Shane's first instinct, upon getting permission to fuck other people, was to seek Ilya out. He looks cautious but hopeful when he asks if Ilya's still interested in hooking up, like the answer isn't obviously yes.

Yes, Ilya's still interested. But not just in hooking up. Not in being the side piece.