live breathe gucci

idk why women's bathrooms exist when women don't poop or pee

it's where they go to do cocaine

I think we should turn the orb we ponder into some sexy tumblr man and ship him with the wizard

i think chris fleming is important enby representation because they're just. so far away from what people read as nonbinary like. People expect nonbinary to look like an afab Woman Lite (TM) who spends too much time in LGBT space, but he's just a feral massachussets cryptid who is very intimate with straight culture and can spit 800 words a minute and have each one of them hit you like a truck

Hey honey, I noticed you've been drawing a lot of very dark and anguished pictures of, like, anime women smiling through tears while wrapped in bloody bandages, or chained and shackled with broken angel wings hanging limp behind them, and I just wanted to ask... have you EVER seriously attempted figure study? At all? Because, even for a 13 year old, your grasp of muscular anatomy and basic contrapposto leaves a LOT to be desired. If this is really the best you can do. Maybe you should pick up crocheting or something instead. Anyway I need you to do the dishes before I can get started on dinner

today will be a very important day someday

black and orange might b the classic Halloween colors but let us not forget purple and pale turquoise they are 100% as ghastly and ghoulish

The thing is the colors of Halloween are all of the colors. You’ll see Halloween promotions like “we made our milkshakes GREEN!!! Spooky!!” or entire product lines where it’s all red because that’s like gothic vampire stuff or devilish. Blue motifs for haunted mansions, white ghosts and bones and ivory, pink guts and blob monsters, Halloween just celebrates every possible color palette and aesthetic.

bro just add some green onion to that rice dish you’ll be ok. bro? you don’t have any green onion? oh don’t worry bro I saved the butts of my green onions and left them in a cup of water in my sunny kitchen window for a week, and now they are tall and luscious again because growth in inevitable. Here, you can have them bro. I love you.

Shocking how many people don’t know that hens lay non-fertilized eggs and think the yolk they’re eating is a baby chicken

once tried desperately to make my friend understand that yolks were not, like, a liquified potentiality of chicken, and she looked at me for a while and then said, "but they’re both yellow."

[image: a lemon.]

Image descriptions that incidentally make the joke infinitely funnier.

O ye of little face

when u wake up a little and are like “i know what would take this from a 10 to a 100” and u roll over and experience mind melting euphoria before u fall back asleep… best part of being alive. humans were made for beddy bye

we need to keep calling chris pratt a homophobe because if we do it enough he will inevitably get himself cast in a movie where he acts a gay character to try prove he's not homophobic, and then during the press tour he'll get asked if it was hard to play a gay character and he'll fuck up and say something like "yeah it was a huge challenge for me because I actually hate gay people" and it'll be a fuckin field day on tumblr