I like things

the way trump is talking abt hillary makes him sound like a scorned lover lmao what if monica wasn’t bill’s only side bitch??

you gotta be fucking kidding me

i had a twisted dream this morning when my alarm tried to wake me up where jeff goldblum said 'Actually if you sleep a bit Longer you'll have More time to get ready It's called the Goldblum's Law and it works just go back to sleep' and i believed him and i overslept

hey boss sorry im late. i got Goldblumed

ICE being cowed and intimidated by a person in an inflatable frog costume is so Portland and probably the worst thing that could happen to ICE's image

A new cryptid has emerged, I guess.

This current trend of people being very openly hostile towards polyamory has made me realize a few things and among those things is that, apparently, to many people the bad thing about someone cheating in a relationship is simply that they are having sexual/romantic relations with multiple people at the same time. Like, that's what the issue is to many of them that's what's morally wrong about it. Not the fact that they're going behind their partner's back to break a serious established boundary and their trust. Which is crazy

The thing that will always get me about Tobias being stuck in his morph is that he just disappeared one day and literally no one cared. Not a single teacher has asked Jake or Marco if they've seen him around. His family does not search for him. Neither the police or social services are called. The rest of the group doesn't see his face on the back of milk cartons during lunch. He vanished and it was like he never existed.

It also gets worse as the series goes on, since eventually his school and his dad's lawyer figure out two of his foster parents each think he's living with the other... and decide not to bother doing anything about it, because evil aliens. And then one single teacher at his school sees him back there for an event, and that's the only person ever to express concern about him after he "runs away."

HE FOUND TUMBLR??????

I’ve been here the whole time.

when your stomach is really mad at you and you're not sure which one of your fourteen unhealthy lifestyle choices is causing it

somehow my app bugged and cut the last nine words off so I thought op was a cow or something

i hate driving. here are the laws! if you break them there will be consequences! except youre also expected to break the law just a little bit. people will get mad at you if you dont. you dont have right of way but the person who does is waving you forward for some reason. here's the speed limit! it's not the speed limit, the actual speed limit is that plus ~5-10. the light is green but you're in the turning lane. can you go? should you have gone just then? the person behind you is honking at you. there's a weird noise coming from your engine; if you try to do the right thing and get it checked out, will you get scammed? you are driving a 1-2 ton metal machine rocketing at speeds unknown to humankind for most of history. around a million people die in car accidents every year; that's about one person every thirty seconds. if you take that seriously and try to drive safely then people get mad at you.

If Vance isn't even a little concerned that he might have killed the pope then you know without a doubt that he's a performative fake catholic

THE POPE DIED IMMEDIATELY AFTER MEETING JD VANCE???