For many girls and women, aromanticism is inherently a form of gender nonconformity, just as asexuality is for boys and men.
Romance novels are seen as being “feminine,” and romcoms are often derogatorily called “chick-flics,” for example. Women are expected to want flowers and chocolates and care about things like anniversaries and marriage to a greater extent than is expected of men. Even many of the things women are expected to do to conform to female gender roles are centered around looking attractive: having long well-styled hair, wearing makeup, shaving, wearing skirts and dresses, etc.
So shoutout to aro women and girls who want to be feminine but feel like their aromanticism makes them feel like an outsider to womanhood. Shout out to women and girls who feel left out of “girl talk” because they don’t have a crush or significant other to tell their friends about, or because they don’t think any of their classmates/coworkers/etc. are “cute.” Shout out to aro girls who are sick of being asked “who you’re dressing up for” any time they want to wear a bit of eyeliner and a pretty skirt. Your femininity is not made any less real or valid by your aromanticism.
And shoutout to gender nonconforming aro women and girls. Shoutout to aro women and girls whose aromanticism makes them feel disconnected from femininity. Shoutout to aro women and girls with short hair, and deep voices, and hair on their upper lips, chins, chests, stomachs, backs, armpits, arms, and legs that they choose not to shave off. Shoutout to aro women and girls who identify as both female and non-binary, who are both male and female, who use pronouns other than she/her. Shoutout to intersex aro girls and women. Y’all’re cool as hell and the aro community wouldn’t nearly as beautiful and vibrant without you.
