Aroace disaster

you solve the mystery of what to have for dinner one night and you think "hell yeah case closed forever" WRONG there is a dinner mystery the next night too

the space race may be the funniest point in history period and i'll stand by that. the US is like "yes whoever gets into space first will prove once and for all that our economic model is superior and that we are, in general, the superior country of superior and smarter people." then the soviets just went and did it and the US freaked out and needed to cover their ass so were like "WE MEAN THE MOON, WE MEAN THE FIRST TO LAND ON THE MOON."

yeah its cus walking on the moon was cool as hell and all this other boring shit sucked ass

do u think i can go for a run today or is that something only normal people are allowed to do

weird animals run all the time dude

im going to go for a scamper and scare everyone

one day, i hope to be moved from your downloads folder into somewhere more deliberate

update: it's eyes turn green when the other team has a penalty

Encounter: junior league hockey god

i like when fiction treats love as a more complicated force and not something that is inherently pure or redemptive. portray it as flawed and complex as any other human impulse. give me love as prejudice, love as possessive stasis, love as addiction, love as blindness, etc.

My friend really changed once she became a vegetarian 

its like ive never seen herbivore

i sighed so loud my mom asked me if i was okay and she’s two rooms away

going over to my minimalist girlfriend’s house and she apologizes profusely for the mess and there’s just a single perfect, fresh pea on the floor of her living room

Blue Lois

can i help you

Red Marge

jesus christ. I Am Under Fucking Attack

World Heritage Post

i deserve a medal for this post. not because i was particularly funny but because i survived an onslaught of nearly one hundred gimmick blogs in the wake of this post popping off, and the fact that i didn’t try to track any of them down and snuff them out with my bare hands is a testament to my immeasurable strength and should be rewarded. at one point i had “the official letter h” add on to this post. you wanna know that blog’s gimmick? the really funny and original and worthwhile gimmick the official letter h blog had? yep you guessed it they just gave me the god damned letter H and then fucked off. only jesus knows the suffering i endured over that harsh winter, and he wept for me

touching grass isn't enough some of y'all need to drive out to the countryside and look at the stars

this post was aimed at the discourse-addled and terminally online, but i'm glad it's reaching an audience of people who are just excited about stargazing in general

never lose hope. somewhere, a middle-aged, gender ambiguous person with an advanced degree in an esoteric field and a fiber arts hobby could be crashing out and pinning all their remaining mental health on getting obsessed with your otp. any day now, the most elegantly written 100k fanfic you have ever read is going to hit ao3. it could happen. it has happened.

Happy pride month to my dad. When I came out as bi to him, this man googled what it ment, look at me and said "ohh. Yeah. You get that from me. You'd have far more siblings of I only shaged women." And went right back to his work emails.

Appropos of nothing, nail polish comes in very small bottles that will fit in most bags, or pockets, without takingnup significant room, and removing it from many plastic-like surfaces is difficult, since many of those are dissolved in acetone