resident chemist

I had a dream I invented a little toy or two…

washington post fact checkers have given this post three out of five pinocchios

my 12 year brother is talking to his friend on the phone and trying to arrange plans to go over to his house this afternoon and was saying that our dad could drop him off maybe and i just heard him say "well i could maybe come over earlier but my dad is busy sharpening his scythe"

muffled voice coming from the phone speakers: how long till the scythe is sharp

Some days I feel like I’m 29 feet away from a Japanese radish

gonna start making snopes-style responses to urban legends about tumblr

do u wanna see the gromit sweater i knitted last year

hey.. two people were asking about you… so i gave them your address and phone number… their names were Skeletal Warrior and Skeletal Ice Mage

I feel like a horse with no name is probably the best song in the world. Not even my Favorite song just the best

I’m putting in my too weak notice.