I sure hope the money spent on the trip didn't go towards policemen kidnapping Chechen men to serve in Russia's war on Ukraine. Unlike the Chechens fighting on Ukraine's side, the Chechens fighting for Russia are not there of their own free will. Would kill the vibe if it did.
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So there was this children's book series that depending on where you live, is either known as The Last Apprentice or The Wardstone Chronicles and I was obsessed. Even if the last book had a Game of Thrones level of bad ending.
I'm planning to reread them and make everyone who follows me listen to me talk about the books.
So the books are set in Lancashire County in England, where the author, Joseph Delaney, lived his whole life. Spooks deal with ghosts, boogeymen (referred to as boggarts and usually invisible, but they are able to take forms when they want), and witches. Spooks have a special ability to deal with them. The qualification to train as a spook is to be a seventh son of a seventh son. Only then you can be born with the ability to deal with ghosts and other supernatural stuff. It goes without saying that the books are set in about late 1600s to early 1700s England. At least that's what I think. Spooks carry a staff with a retractable blade and a silver chain.
Thomas Ward is a seventh son of a seventh son. And his mom wrote a letter to the spook John Gregory when he was born that Tom would be his last apprentice.
It's worth noting that the first book got adapted into a movie back in 2014 called Seventh Son with Ben Barnes, Alicia Vikander, and Jeff Bridges but I've heard it's not good and it made an enormous amount of changes to the books. Either way, it's irrelevant.
And since my sympathy for those who only read children's books was already on life support, I can now safely say that my contempt knows no bounds now. The only reason I'm even reading these is because I have nostalgia for them. When I was flipping through the eighth book, I had to remind myself these were books for sixth graders. It helped temper my expectations a bit. I do think I need a Salman Rushdie palate cleanser after this.
Also, this is a bit disjointed but whatever. It's my blog and my life.
Side note: These books have an absolutely insane misogyny problem, and I feel like these are a good example to use to discuss a wider problem within European historical fantasy works where misogyny permeates the narrative in ways it really should not. Reading this first book honestly makes me want to dive further into the series just to talk about it. It's one of the major fatal flaws of the books.
The book opens with John Gregory coming to Tom's farm to come and collect Tom and get payment for his apprenticeship. It's not cheap to apprentice a child as a spook, but all of Tom's older brothers have already been apprenticed to other trades, including his eldest brother, Jack, who is going to inherit the farm and has a heavily pregnant wife named Ellie. Tom's mom wants him to be a spook, and it's her way or the highway. It's also not an option to get Tom apprenticed to other trades because people are only willing to take on so many children from one person, so his dad's on board with it. It's also worth noting Mom wanted seven sons with a seventh son just so boy number 7 could be a spook.
Also, being a spook is dangerous. Spooks have been killed by witches and occasionally boggarts. It's also a near guarantee that you'll remain single despite it being a very necessary and lucrative job in this world. Part of it is just the whole dealing with ghosts and witches. Another part is religious. Early in the book Tom and John Gregory are walking to Gregory's house they walk by a priest, who makes the cross at them. Tom says he's never seen someone make the cross in such an exaggerated fashion as that priest did. Said priest happens to be the spook's brother, and they don't get along well.
The Spook gives his apprentices a trial by having them stay in a haunted house overnight to confront their fears. He has the apprentices stay on for a month to decide if they want to be a spook, and then he takes them on permanently afterward. Tom is pretty apprehensive about being a spook, especially when he learns how many of John Gregory's previous apprentices quit within the first month, quit after that, or died while training. Out of 30, 10 died in the process. But he decides to stick it out after his mom pushes him to (see the first paragraph) and also because of one of his dad's wise sayings. He has the attitude of I don't like it, but someone has to do it and there's not many other options for me anyway.
The first few chapters just take the time to set up the world the story is set in and Tom's relationships with his family members. We learn that the Spook himself has a boggart as his housekeeper and said boggart likes to be complimented for its cooking and doesn't like having anyone arrive early for breakfast, as Tom learns the hard way. If the boggart decides to visible, it takes the form of a ginger tomcat. We also learn that Tom's brother Jack likes to roughhouse a bit and is kind of apprehensive about the whole spook trade, and this is a huge reason why their relationship deteriorates over the series. We actually see the first signs of their relationship slowly breaking down in this book. His wife Ellie is a bit more laid back, but if I remember correctly, she's also apprehensive. Tom's mother is known to be the best midwife in the area and she always predicts a baby's sex correctly. Tom describes her as being from a far away land and that she still has a lilt in her voice when she speaks English. She says Ellie's baby is a girl and she is correct. She seems to have the power of clairvoyance, and we do find out in a later book that she is a witch herself, but we'll get there. Her and Tom are very close, which is another thing that drives a wedge between him and Jack. She taught Tom to speak Greek when she wouldn't teach any of her other sons the language. She also pulled him out of school and homeschooled him when the teachers tried to change his left-handedness. Dad has many sayings, all of them wise. Tom tends to refer back to his father's sayings multiple times throughout this book when he's trying to think of what to do in a tricky situation.
What kicks off the chain of events in this book is that a girl named Alice shows up at the Spook's house and gives Tom three cakes. She asks Tom to give one cake each night to a witch imprisoned in the Spook's garden. See, John Gregory keeps three witches imprisoned in his garden. He imprisons them with iron bars, salt, and some water since those are some of witches' kryptonite. The witch Alice wants Tom to give the cakes to is Mother Malkin, a witch who was known to have murdered pregnant mothers and their babies by having her son Tusk crush them to death. She was eventually apprehended by the Spook. While there is an option to eat the witch's heart raw to ensure she doesn't come back, the Spook doesn't because it's gross. It's also possible for a witch to come back from the dead by possession or through leaving her bones behind. This means a dead witch has to be buried upside down so that she can't resurface. Alice does offer him information about the Spook that he doesn't have. Including how the Spook's last apprentice Billy Bradley died.
Alice, I would personally argue, is the most important character in the series. Many of the decisions she makes are what drives the plot or kicks it off. She's also a good example of the misogyny problem this series has. We do see a lot of overt misogyny from the Spook's advice to Tom to not trust women (spoiler alert: he's a hypocrite and we will touch upon that in a later book, and while the details are fuzzy, what I do remember makes this even worse than just that), yes, and from other characters as well. People tend to brush this stuff off as being historically accurate even in fantasy settings where there is not much of a reason for that misogyny. Doesn't help these books were published in the 2000s. Sometimes it's just a conversation of why is this particular form of misogyny there and does this work have the right to have it there? And how are the female characters treated by the narrative itself? How does it treat their character development? Do we see the female characters' inner thoughts and worlds? These questions can help us determine if a work has the right to depict misogyny from its characters, and yes, that includes historical novels and historical fantasy works such as this one.
Speaking of which, there's another form of misogyny in the books, and it's how the female character arcs are treated. Alice's character development builds up to her being on the good guys' side and her being close to Tom since she's the only friend his age and Delaney just shits on that in book 13. And in the sequel series where Tom has a female apprentice (who is the very first female apprentice to ever exist, too), said female apprentice gets shit all over by the narrative as well. It's not exactly different from how shonen manga treats its female characters. No issue completely rewriting female characters' arcs in ways that are so left field that it's obvious the writer cared more about getting a one up on the reader than actually telling a good story.
Anyway, shout out to this Goodreads reviewer:
What, did you think their relationship was going to remain platonic? This is another way Delaney shits all over Alice's narrative in book 13. We spend such a long time with Tom and Alice, watching their relationship develop, and the way Delaney ties this up in book 13....we'll touch that when we get there. Side note: If it makes anyone feel better, Tom doesn't realize he loves Alice for another 8-9 books, but how that happens would mean some major spoilers. This little tidbit makes what happens in book 13 so much worse.
Back to the story: Tom promises Alice he'll give the cakes and since the Spook decided to head off for a job because Tom is brand new at it, there's no one stop him. But he does stop at the second cake when he realizes Mother Malkin's iron bars keeping her in the pit are bent now. So he stops. But it's already too late.
Mother Malkin is a blood witch. These witches drink on blood for their power and they kill in the process of doing so. Her granddaughter, Bony Lizzie, is a bone witch. Bone witches use thumb bones for their magic and getting the thumb bones requires either killing someone or gravedigging. Alice is Bony Lizzie's niece, though we later find out there is more to their relationship than meets the eye. That's for another book. Both Lizzie and Malkin are notorious for their strength and cruelty. It's the stuff of local legend, and when the Spook realizes they are back, he springs into action.
This isn't to say Tom is useless. When he realizes Mother Malkin's escape happened at the exact same time a toddler disappears, he springs into action. He notes Malkin leaves a silver trail behind her and uses that to track her and the child down. The child survives without being hurt. Tom manages to strike some deals with the house boggart in exchange for help from it, so that ensures that the Spook's house can't be broken into. Tom ends up killing Malkin in the process and watches her go downstream in a river.
After the Spook comes back from his job, Tom runs into Alice, which turns out to be a trap because Lizzie and Tusk, who I mentioned as Malkin's son and is with her, are pissed and decide to use Tom as a sacrifice. Alice saves him and John Gregory successfully tracks both of them down. He kills Tusk while saving them and captures Bony Lizzie. After speaking with Alice and Tom and concluding the former to be innocent, he decides she's better off living with relatives who aren't evil. He sends both of them to Tom's house so his mom can help Alice out.
This concludes the first part of the book. The second half happens at the family farm, and I can't lie, I've grown to sympathize with Jack more than I did when I was young. Tom's job as a spook's apprentice kind of puts him and his family through the wringer.
So the baby is born, and it happens to be right on the night Tom killed Malkin. Tom is filled with anxiety over Malkin possessing someone at the farm, though Tom's mother and Alice point out a baby is the last person to possess if Malkin wants revenge. Kind of obvious when you think about it. Tom has a book about possession written in Latin, which he doesn't know but Alice does. She translates it for him. According to Alice, the ideal candidate would be a hot tempered and physically healthy man. Jack fits the bill. Alice is a potential candidate, and Tom finds her performing a spell with a mirror late at night with Mother Malkin's reflection in the brass candlestick nearby and there is the silver trail that heavily signals Malkin being on the farm, so Tom breaks the mirror and wakes everyone up and pisses Jack off. It's worse because that mirror was a family heirloom. Tom has the sense not to say anything to Jack after this. Ellie is doing her best to be understanding only to get pissed with Tom when she learns there might be an evil witch near the house with a newborn baby in it. She wants Tom's mom to take care of it.
So knowing now that Alice was doing a spell and might be lying to him, he decides to act on his own. Over the night he hears all these sounds in the house and just runs out of the house and to the pig section of the farm, where the pigs are being prepared for slaughter. The pig butcher is there. Alice has also followed after him. She was using the mirror to figure out where Malkin is on the farm specifically, but Tom is reluctant to trust her. He does remember that salt and iron works against boggarts, so it might work against a witch possessed body. So he gets some salt to lure her out.
The salt doesn't lure her out. She just reveals herself and it was the pig butcher she possessed. We learn that because it looks like Mother Malkin just tried to kill Jack right in front of Ellie (Jack survives) and is holding Ellie's baby. Malkin is using her power to draw Tom to her and Tom isn't able to resist. Alice saves the day. And realizing what has happened has made Tom choose to commit to being a spook for good. He throws salt and iron at the pig butcher and he becomes unpossessed. It also severely weakens Mother Malkin, and it's enough for Alice to try and kill Malkin by burning her, but Tom is stupid and stops her despite this being valid self defense. This rightly so pisses Alice off.
Luckily for Tom, Mother Malkin heads towards the pigs and gets eaten by them. They also take the heart raw so there's no concern about her coming back from the dead for good. We also see how Ellie's relationship with Tom changes because she isn't immune to the prejudices people hold against spooks.
Jack wasn't severely hurt. Just knocked out. And covered in pigs' blood. He gets a very rough night. Ellie is absolutely anxious about the baby. And when Tom's mom comes back, they all have the rough job of explaining what happened. The Spook comes to get Tom. Tom's pretty shaken up about the whole thing, but he still decides to stay on. The Spook is not a fan of Alice, especially because using a mirror is dark magic. He wants to put her in a pit. So he ends up talking to Tom's mom once he learns that Alice and the mom get along well.
Side note: I just have to note that Tom is so sheltered that when he hears the Spook being sexist he uses his mom as a counterexample to all of it. We never learn much about his sister in law outside of her also growing up on a farm.
Tom stays on one more night and talks to his mom about Alice. We learn that the baby that she went to deliver died along with the mother. It's the first time she's had both die. She takes a look at the Latin book about possession Alice translated for him. It is accurate. We also learn she somehow knows that the Spook used to be a priest. Tom's mother believes anything can happen with Alice. She could be good, bad, or worst, neither. After the conversation, Tom decides to have Alice go live with her relatives far away. Ellie puts down some boundaries after what's gone down and asks Tom to go for a different career. Tom doesn't want to and knows there is no going back.
We do get some answers from Alice about the child who was kidnapped and the blood cakes. The blood cakes were made from Alice's blood. Her blood has been used a lot for blood magic. The child was the only one who was kidnapped. This is what pushes Tom to finally send her off to live with her relatives. And he heads off to the Spook's house in Chipenden. He also gets a lot of information about what witches believe and botany from her on the way to her family's house. Alice holds his hand on the final night of the journey and tells him she's claimed him as hers now. She just knows they're going to meet again.
And so the book ends.
If you made it to the end, a nice adult read palate cleanser is The Sisters Brothers, which I thought was funny and tells a lot if you read between the lines. The main character is a very unreliable narrator, so keep that in mind.
I'm on Book 2. I remember I quite liked this one because we get a really good glimpse of Alice's power as a witch. Also the bad guy gets a much more ceremonious send off than Mother Malkin did. But the female villains get more unceremonious defeats from what I remember, compared to the male ones. The bad guy is a spirit, but it does feel coded as a male.
The book opens with Tom having to dig a boggart's pit in the rain. Boggarts have varying degrees of dangerous, and a ripper is the most dangerous. Tom has to deal with it alone because the Spook is sick. Unsurprisingly, the men who are there to help Tom are not thrilled with having to deal with a thirteen year old boss. We know that a priest is being attacked by the boggart. The priest's housekeeper is absolutely scared shitless, and so is the doctor Tom called. So Tom has to cut some corners. He's had practice, but it's an emergency and he has to act fast. We learn that the Spook didn't want to send Tom alone because of his illness and Tom's inexperience, but unfortunately, the priest being attacked is the Spook's brother, and they haven't spoken for 40 years. Despite that, the Spook still cares for him. The priest attempted to tackle the ripper and failed miserably. Did I mention they're dealing with this in the rain? Because they are.
So they're just digging the pit, waiting for the stone mason, doctor's not optimistic about the priest surviving. Still, Tom has to carry on with a stiff British upper lip. Once the stone mason arrives, he gives them the stone and leaves to take care of his sick daughter. Tom finishes off the pit with salt and iron and lures the boggart out with blood. He specifically uses the priest's blood to lure the boggart out. They get the priest, housekeeper, and doctor out of the way before things go down.
And it works. Tom and the men work as fast as they can while they are absolutely scared from listening to the ripper suck on the blood. Tom just has the Spook's previous apprentice Billy on his mind throughout the whole thing. They have less than a minute to get it right because that's how fast the boggart is going and they do it.
And I am not going to lie, this is a really cool scene to start off with. We get to see how far Tom has come. And we get to see Tom do it on his own. He still has quite far to go, obviously, but this is a good place to start the sequel with.
And the Spook is very pleased with Tom. Enough that he gets a day off as a prize. Tom kind of lets the whole boggart binding go to his head a bit. So much so that like any thirteen year old, he wants to skip over the basics. But still, work is work, and after his day off, he gets to work hard. After his hard work, Tom goes off to study for a bit.
Tom finds an old journal in the library. It's from the Spook, and boy are there some real big secrets hiding in there. The Spook had a girlfriend named Meg.
Uh oh.
Meg is a lamia witch, a type of witch that originates from Greece. Those of you who know about the myths in detail already know about them. The Spook tried to bind her only to change his mind because she's beautiful and was in tears when he tried to put her in the pit. He found her chained in a tower before pulling her out and eventually kissing Meg. That's what changed his mind about putting her in the pit.
Uh oh.
So the Spook is someone who is a do as I say, not as I do person. A hypocrite (but you remember what I said about book 1, didn't you?) And a lot of thirteen year olds know this about adults and are more willing to ignore their advice because of it. So now Tom is left wondering what is up with all of this. He finds that lamia witches are shapeshifters, are either feral or domestic, drink on men's blood, and avoid sunlight. Feral lamias can become domestic with a narrow line of scales left on their backs. Domestic ones can integrate quite well.
And the information Tom finds still doesn't answer all of his questions. He doesn't want to piss the Spook off, so he keeps it to himself.
And conveniently, there's news for the Spook. His priest brother is dead. Rest in peace, my dude. So the big big confrontation about Meg will have to wait.
The Spook and Tom head to Priestown, where the funeral is, and the Spook has some things to attend to. See, there's a spirit called the Bane who haunts the town. He kills his victims by crushing them, and the description of how he does it is DISGUSTING. The Spook nearly got killed by it himself. There's a lot he himself doesn't really know about it.
We already know about the crushing. We learn that the Bane lives in the catacombs, where ancient peoples are buried. The Bane was once their god. Only when it was free, it terrorized people before it was bound to the catacombs by a prince, a seventh son of a seventh son who lost his six brothers to the Bane, which weakened it severely. It can be set free, but no one wants that. While it is bound, it has grown stronger, so they need to deal with it now rather than later. It's now able to take shapes. Its strength comes from blood. It's guaranteed to be animal blood, as human blood needs to be given freely. It also has the ability to lure people to the catacombs for blood and it can read thoughts. And it has corrupted the local priests.
So yeah, this is a pretty dangerous creature we're talking about here.
Priesttown is not a great place for spooks. There's a High Inquisitor who hunts "witches" but many of them are likely innocent since he tests for witches by tying women up and throwing them into a lake. If they sink, they're innocent, if they float, they're a witch and get burned. Either way, the woman dies. And spooks aren't safe from this. The Inquisitor is judge, jury, and executioner.
So Tom and the Spook disguise themselves to get in. They have to keep a separate distance in case if anything happens to one of them. It gets to the point where they stay in separate inns.
The next morning, Tom finds himself in a crowd trying to get to the funeral. He learns that the crowd is there for the Inquisitor and wants to watch witches burn. There is a couple of men among the accused, but the majority are women. We know all of them have been beaten. Alice herself is one of them, and she is unrecognizable. Being a thirteen year old doesn't save her at all.
Shit hit the fan for Alice. The aunt Alice was staying with got captured as a witch and spoiler alert, she manages to escape the Inquisitor. Her aunt is killed off. Rest in peace, aunt. We'll catch up with Alice further on in the book.
The cathedral where the funeral is held at also has a stone carving of the Bane when it takes a physical form. It looks like a gargoyle, and Tom describes the carving's eyes as looking as though they're following you.
Tom and the Spook catch up after the funeral once they find somewhere private. The Spook wants him to just forget about Alice because the risks outweigh the benefits in his mind. Tom doesn't forget about Meg, but he decides now isn't the right time because the Spook hasn't forgotten about Malkin. He also knows that the Spook was just arguing with a priest earlier and asks about that instead. The priest is the Spook's cousin Father Kearns.
We also get to meet the Spook's other brother Andrew. Andrew is a locksmith. He's the only other surviving brother out of all seven Gregory brothers. Andrew wants him to leave because it's not safe here. Andrew also mentions a curse where the Spook will die alone underground, but the Spook doesn't believe in that stuff, so he tells Tom not to think about it. When has that ever worked with a thirteen year old? That's another aspect that reminds me that the books are for kids that age.
Anyway, the Spook pesters Andrew into making a second special key that can open any lock and the brother caves in. When Tom heads back to his inn he finds a note from Father Kearns. Yeah. Now he's screwed. He decides to see what's up with him after weighing the risks.
He gets preached at, unsurprisingly, but he does manage to get Father Kearns to tell him some stuff about Gregory's past. It's also important to know that Kearns has a bandage on his hand for later on. John Gregory the Spook was once a priest, and it seems like his work as a priest influenced his current beliefs just as much as being a Spook did. It's hard not to get that impression from reading the book. The big reason he left priesthood was because he fell for his brother's fiance Emily.
Well.
And the brother in question was Father Gregory, the dead priest at the start. Father Kearns is also misogynistic, unsurprisingly, and Tom dislikes him. But he also knows about Meg, so it isn't out of reach to believe some of what he says. And Father Kearns actually brings her up himself. Meg was a scary witch in her own right, as it turns out.
Uh oh.
So now we know how much of a hypocrite he is. But the worst is yet to come. Trust me. I'm pretty sure it comes in Book 3, but we'll touch upon it when we get there. And boy do I have some things to say about that.
The whole thing was a trap. Of course it was. And the priest has connections with the Inquisitor. It seems like he genuinely buys his own bullshit, though Tom suspects it was the Bane. Luckily, even though Tom finds himself in a jail cell, he still has Andrew's key, so he figures out a way to sneak out. But one of the brothers, Brother Peters, he saw in the church sees him. He tells Tom to leave the town with the Spook. So Tom decides to head to Andrew's house. He's able to find it easily. Both of them head to the Spook's inn. Except he's already being captured. And the innkeeper is terrorized into agreeing by being beaten.
So Tom wants to get Gregory's stuff from the inn. He asks Andrew to help him find the way to the catacombs to save the Spook but Andrew is not on board. Especially because the Bane nearly killed the Spook. He has to persuade Andrew because he doesn't want his brother to die an awful death. It helps that Andrew is friends with Brother Peter, who retrieves Gregory's stuff. Peter did get into some trouble, but he's old, so he got away with it. He's resistant to the Bane's influence. Andrew and Brother Peter agree to help Tom head into the catacombs through a combination of directions and personal guidance. Neither of them are really willing to head into the catacombs themselves.
And so the three of them take off. Tom packs everything he needs to defend himself. The tunnels are small, cramped, and narrow. Tom describes it as though the cathedral itself is crushing the catacombs. Once they get there, Tom has cold feet because he knows the Bane can read minds. But he has to save the Spook, and so he goes on. He finds a dead cat that was crushed to death by the Bane. He says the body was so crushed that it's not even thicker than an inch. But still he goes on.
He gets a couple of close calls along the way and he overhears that Brother Peter's in danger. In fact, he's very close to the Inquisitor. So his situation just got worse. Once the coast is clear, he reaches the prison. The prisoners, who have been tortured, are eager to escape. And gets Tom caught. But he successfully retreats back into the catacombs. He thinks he found the Spook, but he notes how out of character he's acting. He cracks that it's actually the Bane just by the use of the right hand instead of the left. Remember, the Spook is left handed. Anyway, salt and iron do not work against the Bane. Tom realizes the Bane wants to escape and decides to risk his life to keep it in the catacombs. He feels full regret for even attempting this as he nearly dies at the hands of the creature, especially because it has gotten stronger than expected. He hears a shoe and realizes someone is coming. It's Alice, and she relays everything I've already mentioned. We also learn that the Spook was already taken for questioning before Tom came.
Alice is not scared of the Bane. She spits in its face. I'll just give the rest away now: Alice took the Bane as a familiar and she uses it to kill the Inquisitor. The Bane is a misogynist, so it doesn't think much about Alice. She did not have a good time in captivity. She was starved, beaten and unable to wash for quite a while. Neither her nor her aunt were prepared for the Inquisitor. Her aunt ended up drowned despite not even being a witch. Alice had to get her body. The cottage they lived in was sold by the Inquisitor. Alice believes his motivation is that he makes money off of selling his victims' homes. The women get the worse treatment. She wants revenge and the Bane is a good way to get there. She also wants to save the other prisoners
At this point, Alice hasn't taken the Bane as her familiar, but we will get there. So right off the bat, the fact that she can take a creature as powerful as this one as her familiar reveals she's quite powerful. And she's very cunning to take advantage of the Bane's desire for blood to trick it into....we'll get there. But it is pretty great.
Tom and Alice are well on their way out of the catacombs and find somewhere to get rest. Andrew comes to get both of them and Tom updates him on what he already knows. Brother Peter was already arrested just right after he and Andrew went home. Andrew is ready to just take flight because his shop is rented and he has a trade under his belt. Andrew is ready to give up and tells Tom to find he knows another spook (one of John's former apprentices, and I think we do meet him eventually) to train under but Tom is not ready to give up. Alice doesn't think it's worth it, and she knows Gregory would leave her to die.
Tom goes to the Spook's trial. Alice joins him anyway. Brother Peter is there and boy he is not in good shape. He's elderly too. Tom feels a strong obligation to him. Especially because the Inquisitor is going to leave him in the catacombs to the Bane. And this is what gets the crowd upset, not the horrible deaths of many young women by burning. The narrative kind of ignores this as well beyond a few comments made here and there, but you know, I guess I'm expecting too much from a fantasy novel published in the 2000s.
The Spook is there, too. And Kearns testifies against him. And Tom gets screwed over even harder than he already was. The Spook is going to get burned alive. And Tom is just having this epiphany about his time with the Spook. Meanwhile, Alice is trying to get him out of there.
Tom decides to leave Priestown and sleeps in a dilapidated barn. He starts dreaming of the Bane in the catacombs. The Bane is speaking to him in the dream. Tom's dreams are super important in the series, and they tend to have foreshadowing. I guess that's another seventh son of a seventh son power. On top of drinking blood, the Bane also sucks marrow out of the bone, and eats their hopes and dreams and has a preference for fresh bodies. The Bane will only let go of Tom if he answers what happens after death. The Bane thinks there's nothing and offers him a long life in exchange for its freedom. Tom thinks that the soul continues to live on in some way and he believes the Bane doesn't have a soul like humans do. He's ready to give up his life to save Lancashire County.
Side note: Tom strikes me as agnostic, honestly. The Spook, definitely for sure.
We also learn how Alice makes the Bane her familiar. So it can now see and hear through her. She gives it her blood and then it does whatever she asks it to do. So this is the part where Alice takes advantage of it and leads into her killing the Inquisitor with it. Honestly, we support women's wrongs in this house. And it couldn't have happened to a better person, too. At the end, John Gregory admits the Inquisitor kind of had it coming. But it's not at Gregory's trial, though. It's much after that.
Alice is gone by the time Tom wakes up. She's already opened the gate to the catacombs by the time Tom gets there. Alice is there. When he realizes what's done, he's pissed. Yet despite that, he's still attached to her because she's the only friend he's ever had. Also, a male and a female character means they have to be together if there is no indication otherwise. So he drags her out of the catacombs and tries to figure out what to do. He decides he wants to go see his mother.
Alice has something up her sleeve. And no, the burning is not where Alice uses the Bane to kill the Inquisitor. She tries to talk Tom out of going home and succeeds. So they head to the Spook's burning.
Full confession: Alice is my favourite character. She is so layered and complex. She's willing to resort to underhanded methods to accomplish good, regardless of how the other characters view her. She's ultimately a good person, regardless of the means she uses to get to the ends. And she cares deeply for Tom. But she also acts in the good of others, as is part of her motivation for taking revenge on the Inquisitor. Delaney preferred to write for adults and only wrote for children after his publisher wanted to capitalize on Harry Potter's success. It shows quite a bit, honestly. And it was to the point that when I was looking for the series in my library, I searched the YA section only to remember that they would be in the children's book section. Alice would be the protagonist in an adult version of the books because she is closer to what an adult reader wants out of a book. But because they are written for children, Tom, who is more black and white and generic, is the protagonist and narrator. And it makes what Delaney does with her character in Book 13 so much worse. Alice to me is a huge selling point for the series. I've noticed this with a lot of other readers as well.
Back to the story: Just when the Spook is about to be burned, Alice uses the Bane to burn the Inquisitor's hands. Commotion breaks out as a result. This allows Tom to save the Spook for real. Alice basically saved the Spook's life when she knows he wouldn't have done that for her. Both Tom and the people the Inquisitor hurt are her motivations for doing so.
For the Bane, being freed from where it was imprisoned in would disorient it a bit. Tom got injured while saving the Spook. All three of them flee for their lives. The Spook is completely traumatized and Tom decides to head back to his farm. Alice treats Tom's injury with herbal medicine and there's a whole point made here about good coming from evil. That is what Alice Deane represents to me. Good being the result of evil actions. That's what makes her so compelling to read about. That's what I loved about her as a teenager.
Anyway, Tom's dad isn't doing very well. He's gotten sick. He and Tom's mother know he's going to die soon. Spoiler alert, he dies later on in the series and it kind of fucks with Tom, especially considering the drama that occurs around it. It's been a while since he's been home and he's scared of what happens if the Inquisitor comes by. He keeps both of them a distance away from the farm. So Tom updates his mom about everything that went down and struggles to do so along the way. Mom is not happy about the whole thing, but she decides to soldier on. We know that she has clairvoyance, and while Tom hasn't discovered it yet, she is a witch, so knowing this in advance, she knows that they'll solve it eventually. While Mother Ward checks up on the Spook, Father Ward has aged 20 years because of his pneumonia. We learn that Father Ward was once a sailor and that's how he met Mother Ward. Tom always liked hearing his tales at the sea as a child, yet he has never revealed how he met Mom. He chooses to tell Tom because he's caught on to his wife being a witch. Tom is the only one out of his brothers who knows, and as an adult, I can't help but think about how Jack would process his mother being a witch considering how he just got put through the ringer in the previous book. We know how he feels about witches, yet he seems to be in denial about his own mother being one considering at least two family members have started to catch on. And this is on top of Tom being the only one to speak Greek and receiving more attention from Mom than any other brother and being a Spook. And Tom is now the only brother to know how Mom and Dad met.
Father Ward reveals that he met Mother Ward when he found her chained to a rock stark naked. She had nails hammered into her palm. Neither of them could speak the other person's language, and Dad remembers she started screaming when the sun came up. Tom says he just took it for granted that she never liked going out into the sun. Blisters had developed on her skin. So Father Ward freed her and used his clothes to cover her. He stayed there without his ship. When he took the nail out of the palm, it healed immediately. And after they kissed, he knew he wanted to marry her.
Tom notes the similarities between Meg and Mother Ward. And yes, Mother Ward is a lamia witch. He also learns that Mom has two sisters and she always argued with them. The three of them always danced around the fire at night. Mother Ward had money so that's how they got back home and their farm. She plans to return to Greece when Father Ward dies. Father Ward's name is John, but I'm going to refer to him as Father Ward anyway. Father Ward doesn't know why she was chained to a rock to begin with and I get the sense he never asked. His only request to Tom is to accept his mom going home.
I have to be honest here: The whole thing with Meg and Mother Ward reads as though Delaney was trying to push how far he could go in a children's book. Tom's dad says he kissed many women during his career as a sailor, but Mother Ward was the best. I read into sex being implied here, because what else would be? I feel like the kisses where a substitute for sex, but because it's a children's book series, that couldn't be mentioned.
Tom meets his niece Mary. And we get to see more of Tom and Jack's deteriorating relationship. Mother Ward says the Spook has a head injury and to just take him back to Chipenden. She's quite worried about Alice using the Bane as a familiar, especially because witches can lose themselves in their familiars. Each time Alice gives her blood in exchange for a favour, she will lose more of herself in the Bane and it will have grown stronger. But the Bane will still get stronger on its own anyway. Tom does remember about the prince who bound the Bane, but not without some sacrifices. Mother Ward does know where the prince and his brothers and buried, but she doesn't know how the binding happened. The prince still had to deal with the Bane even after binding it. So she writes a letter for Tom to read when he's in a moment of great need. She doesn't want him to read the letter now because she doesn't want him to see the future. She also gives Tom the chain that was used to chain her to the rock. She just knows without Tom telling her. Mother Ward only thinks she's a good person because of Tom's dad. She's implicitly telling him that Alice might make the same choice to be good as well because of him. We'll see how right she is in further books.
Tom and the Spook come home to food made by the boggart. Alice hides out somewhere. The Spook's state has improved from coming home. Tom fills the Spook in on what happened and he's pissed. Tom points out Alice might be immune to the Bane because it's misogynistic, but the Spook doesn't think so. Blood is blood at the end of the day, and the Bane doesn't care where it gets it.
The next steps are to figure out how the Bane was bound. Once the Spook fully recovers, they head off to see if there's any answers from the graves of the prince and his family. Sometimes ghosts stay behind because they have things left undone on earth. Another step is to find Alice. The Spook fully intends to put Alice into the pit once they find her.
The Bane comes to attack the house overnight. It wants revenge on the Spook. The boggart got pretty badly injured fighting the Bane overnight but it's still able to make breakfast and expects even more compliments than usual. Considering it got blinded in one eye, I don't blame it. A lot of damage occurred to the house as well.
Alice shows up. Tom runs into her while getting material to build the pit. They get into an argument over the attack last night. Alice still thinks she can control it. She also knows the Inquisitor is on his way as well. Despite everything, Tom trusts her.
And so Tom and the Spook have a change of plans and flee. I guess the Spook knows the Inquisitor would probably be after him, even if the source is Alice herself. They head to the graves. Tom is just filled with anxiety throughout the whole trip. The Spook knows Alice is following after them. He's still out of it from his recent ordeals. When they stop to rest for the night, Tom has another nightmare. He dreams of his mother with wings and scales and his family's farm completely destroyed under moonlight. From the previous book, we know moonlight reveals all. It's one from the Bane.
The Bane has already gone crazy with killing. They find a cottage with sheep that were flattened. The shepherd and his family was also flattened along with them. The Bane is still in there. Tom passes out from fear during the confrontation but is saved by the Spook. They travel further, but the Inquisitor's dogs has finally caught up with them. When they realize the dogs are running away scared of something, the two of them decide to keep going. They find the body of the Inquisitor, and I have to imagine it wasn't a pretty death at all. He ended up in a body of water, just like so many innocent women he accused of being witches. Alice likely called the Bane during the confrontation with the Spook and Tom. That's why they weren't killed.
Alice finally catches up with them, but neither of them trust her. While the Spook thinks the guy deserved his fate, he is not happy with Alice's choices. He has her blindfolded and has wax in her ears so the Bane can't follow her.
At the graves, Alice has her blindfold removed because the Spook believes it wouldn't come there. He's correct about this. They find the grave of the prince they are looking for. Only one of them will communicate with the prince's ghost since the Bane can read minds. And the Spook will be the one to do it. Tom decides to eavesdrop anyway, because he's a thirteen year old and we wouldn't have a book if he didn't. All thirteen year old kids think they can stand up to an ancient Eldritch abomination that crushes people to death, reads minds, and is just an absolute mess of chaos.
The Bane was bound by the prince giving it its blood and asking it to obey his commands. He did this twice before having the Bane go into the catacombs' burial chamber at his third demand. The prince resisted the Bane by being mentally strong willed. He decided that the Bane would be forever bound to his burial if it ever returned to there.
In order to destroy the Bane, it has to have a flesh form. It needs to be in the burial chamber, and its heart has to be pierced. Killing it will also kill its slayer as well.
And this is where Alice comes in. She's already given her blood and can help bind the Bane herself. The Spook has zero intention of having Tom involved in what's about to go down. He decides to send Tom back to Chipenden to let the boggart know that the Spook won't be back and wants him to train with Bill Arkwright in Caster. We do meet Bill Arkwright in a future book, so put a pin in that one.
The Spook doesn't know Tom already knows everything. And he doesn't know Tom already knows about Meg and Emily. But we will get there. It reminds me of the fact that adults underestimate how smart teenagers actually are and can pick up on things that adults don't realize they can pick up on. And that they're at the stage of life where they realize adults are hypocrites.
Tom chooses to get into the catacombs anyway. The Bane is trying to get into his head the whole time and Tom throws it off by imagining himself walking home. He imagines the Spook putting Alice into a pit. It succeeds for the time being.
When he catches up with the Spook, they get into a bad argument and Tom thinks about listening to the Spook after that. He decides to read his mother's letter to him. It reads like his mother already knew what was about to happen and she's urging him to do the right thing. Tom still remembers the curse as well. The Spook doesn't believe in prophecy, but Tom isn't so sure considering his own mother.
Tom spends a huge part of this next section thinking about what it means to die, and we can see him being agnostic overall. I find that believable within the context of the books, honestly.
Alice summons the Bane into the burial chamber and it's now bound to it forever. Through the use of silver, the Bane gets disabled and disappears with Alice. The Spook gets knocked out in the process and Tom decides to follow after the Bane. He sees it feeding on Alice and takes advantage of it being preoccupied. His fear gets the better of him at first but he decides to give up his life to save everyone. Tom nearly kills the Bane, but misses the heart. The Bane flees again and on the way, we find Brother Peter crushed. Rest in peace, you were too good for this earth.
When Tom finally gets it, he uses the silver chain from his mother to bind it. Alice keeps begging Tom not to kill the Bane, but he does it. He gets knocked out in the process and dreams of the ancient people who worshipped the Bane. Alice is the one who pulls him out of it.
And I can't lie, this is a better send off than what Mother Malkin got. We get payoff for the final confrontation and the bad guy is actually threatening.
Tom owns up to listening in on the Spook and the prince. When the Spook learns about the letter, he doesn't believe in prophecy but chalks it all down to Tom's choices. The silver chains were recovered as well.
We finally get the big confrontation about Meg. It happens because Tom doesn't want to put Alice in the pit. The Spook gives her a job copying the rarest books in the library. He also wants to know what Bony Lizzie taught her. The boggart is not happy, but it puts up with it because the Spook said so.
After dinner, Tom admits to reading the journals, but he also brings up Father Kearns as well. The Spook tells him that Meg lives at his winter house and that they'll be meeting her soon.
They also talk a bit about literal Satan and selling your soul, which is some big foreshadowing for the future series. But that's for later.
As for why Tom survived: Alice bargained with the Bane to spare Tom and the Spook in exchange for her blood.
I remember why I liked this particular book so much: A good sendoff for the bad guy, as I said before, Tom being more competent, Alice being genuinely formidable as a witch, a deeper incorporation of English history into it (even if the bad guy is completely made up), the characters' interaction with religion itself, and how it builds on the characters. Now the Spook, Alice, and Tom's mother are complex characters. I mentioned before that Delaney's preference for writing adult novels shows to an extent, and considering how it tackles certain subject matter, this series feels more YA than children's. When I skim through other children's books, I get bored because they tend to be very simplistic, as they should be, about serious subjects like death. They do have to meet the target audience where they are at, after all. But this one? Yeah, it reads like what I would expect YA to be. Still simplistic by adult standards, but it tackles complex subject matter with nuance and depth yet still meets teenagers at their level.
Adult read palate cleanser: James by Percival Everett. It's a retelling of Mark Twain's Huck Finn through the point of view of James, the slave Huck helps escape. Well, I haven't finished the book, I just started reading it, but I'm suggesting it to you guys anyway.
Fun facts: England does have catacombs that were built by ancient people. They are located in London instead of Lancashire.
I was also looking up English folklore to find out more about Delaney's inspiration. Much of what we know about Ancient Britain comes from the Romans and from archeological evidence, as most Britons did not write their stories down. I think that the ancient peoples mentioned in the book are based on Celtic tribes. The burials seem to be based on those of ancient tribes. Said tribes had belongings buried with them, as is mentioned in the book. And they intermarried with people who invaded from the sea, and we know Vikings invaded what is now England from the sea. I believe the Bane was entirely made of Joseph Delaney's imagination, but I could be wrong. Pendle, the town where Alice has relatives, had real witch trials in the 1600s. Caster, where the Spook has a former apprentice work, is based on a real town. So the English folklore is deeply embedded into this series in a way that Harry Potter, for example, is not. Harry Potter is still British, but this series......IDK. I think it just cannot be divorced from the setting the way magical schools could easily be.
I checked out the physical copy of the third book just now. I cannot wait to show you guys Patrick Arrasmith's scratchboard illustrations, which are so cool. I think they are only there in the US edition of the books, but OMG I love them.
I was looking up academic articles of these books and I found one that focuses on Alice as a witch child. This is to contrast with the portrayal of Jennet Device, a young girl who testified against her family in the Pendle witch trials. The author notes Jennet's portrayal in fiction lacks nuance but fantasy has the advantage of not needing to be tied down. Thus, Alice gets to be layered and human. She also does note that Alice is the one who frequently saves Tom's life more than he does for her. There's a part of me that thinks that while Tom is the narrator, the entire Wardstone Chronicles could be summarized as actually being Alice's story instead of his simply because she is the one that drives the plot forward more than he does. She's the more layered and complex character in comparison to Tom.
So Book 3.....This is the first chapter illustration:
It's cool, isn't it? Here's the rest of the guy's work if you want: Work — Arrasmith Illustration
The Spook is planning to leave Chipenden for his winter house in Anglezarke, and Alice is not going to come along. He's planning to leave her with a non-witch family because he doesn't want Tom to make the same decisions that he himself has made. Another spook shows up to Chipenden, and it's one of the Spook's former apprentices. Not Bill Arkwright, as Tom initially assumes, but one named Morgan. We'll get to learn more about him as time goes on. He's got a letter for the Spook and when Gregory gets it, he immediately decides to head to Anglezarke. The pet boggart isn't pleased either, and Tom just straight up has no clue what is up other than Morgan just wasn't up to par and that Alice is going to be left with a farmer. Tom, as we see from the first page, is not gung ho about it, but there's special stuff that goes down in the winter in Anglezarke, so there is no choice but to go. The Spook also burns the letter, but fragments of it remain.
Tom brings up Meg to Alice the next day, but she says Meg went back home and her and the Spook broke up. So there's some more stuff going down with the Spook. Tom knows that Meg is a lamia witch, and feral ones feed upon blood. Particularly men.
Tom also knows that in the apprentice's bedroom that is currently his, all of the apprentices write their names on the bedroom wall. Morgan is the only who didn't.
Tom says goodbye to the boggart and as a thanks, we actually do get to see what is left of the letter. Morgan is threatening the Spook, but for what?
On the way to the winter house, they stop by Tom's family to collect the full payment for Tom's apprenticeship, and Father Ward's health has deteriorated even further. Jack is doing his best to keep a good attitude despite his feelings toward Tom. I think this is one of the few moments in the series where we see them get along with each other. His wife is pregnant again less than eight months after giving birth, and Mother Ward believes it's a boy. (I assume witches must have some form of birth control, because yikes). If I remember right, they miscarry after Jack gets put through the wringer again because of witches, but that doesn't happen in this book. So now Jack gets to pass the farm down. Tom does get to have a brief conversation with his dad where he says he's proud of him, and that is the last conversation with his father Tom has. His father dies not long after this.
Both Tom and his mother have the ability to sense if someone is going to die, and both of them sense it. They know through a strong smell. It can go away if the person gets better, but in this case, nope. I guess this is part of the package of being a lamia witch. Tom gets sent off not long after this with food and the payment for his apprenticeship.
There's another ancient God up in Anglezarke: Golgoth, the god of winter. Anglezarke is particularly prone to evil because it has other gods, but Golgoth is the big one here.
After surviving bad weather on the way there, Alice gets dropped off at the farm, which is not in good condition. It doesn't help that the farmers, the Hursts, are not very pleasant at first glance. They also had almost all of their sons die except for one, who turns out to be Morgan himself, and a daughter that drowned. So, very much not the happiest people around. Alice gets taken in because the Spook did a quite a bit of work for them getting rid of boggarts and never got paid, so offloading Alice onto them is the payment he's getting. As we later learn from Alice, Morgan is extremely cruel to the Hursts and visits quite often.
The house in Anglezarke is very depressing. It's down in a pit, where sunlight isn't accessible even in the summer, which makes this an even better place to stay. There's no one to clean up after the house other than Meg, who it turns out is being drugged by the Spook to forget that she's a witch. Remember when I said that this is just going to get worse?
Meg hibernates because of the drugging, and she's able to survive because she's a witch. Both domestic and feral lamias can go for months without food. She forgets that Billy is dead despite being fond of him. She doesn't seem to remember names because so many apprentices don't last long anyway. We also know that she's a good cook and tends to be methodical.
It doesn't help that she isn't the only witch in the house. Her sister, Marcia, is a feral lamia witch, and she has to stay in the cellar. There's boggarts and witches bound in the lowest layer of it. All are dangerous. Marcia is in one, and she was domestic when she got put into it. She's become fully feral after being in there for so long. Meg is not in on this otherwise she would not be happy, to state an understatement. The Spook drugs her because he doesn't want to put her in a pit.
I'll touch upon my own feelings about this when we get to the end. I have a lot.
There are two nearby villages where they could get food, including one where the Spook lived, but neither are particularly friendly, so that doesn't help. He instead gets his supplies delivered to him by a carpenter named Shanks. It's going to be a very unpleasant winter. The house is also on a ley line, and ley lines are what boggarts use to travel. A ley line is a line of power beneath the earth. Sometimes a travelling boggart can cause an earthquake like experience.
Nobody knows Meg is still around, and the Spook is intent on keeping it that way. Shanks sees her, and he's not happy but the money he gets from delivering the goods keeps his mouth shut. For the time being.
Meg is starting to figure out that something is going on despite her drugging. Tom finds her going to the cellar once, and that is enough for the Spook to increase her drug dose.
Meanwhile, in the attic, there's a desk with a pentacle around its keyhole. There's some important stuff in there. Pentacles protect magicians when they summon demons, and the desk has a grimoire in it. One that can be used to summon a god.
Remember Emily, the lady who was the Spook's dead priest brother's ex-fiance? She's dead. She has a role to play here. Morgan is actually the adopted son of the Hursts. Emily is his real biological mother, and she held him back somewhat from doing evil. Now that she's dead, all hell is about to break loose.
Golgoth, the winter god, lives in an ancient burial mound. He's lost power from not being worshipped, but if ever awakened, it's going to be a long cold lonely winter. Morgan's planning to summon him, but spoiler alert, he fails. But we'll get there.
Ever since he left the Spook, Morgan's become a necromancer who charges people money to talk to the ghosts of dead loved ones instead of sending the ghosts to the afterlife. Alice notes that he spends a lot of time talking to his sister's ghost near the lake where she drowned. He does the same thing to Tom's dad when we get there, and considering what goes down with the death of Father Ward, I don't blame Tom for being out of his right mind. But we'll get there.
Back to the story: There's a stone chucking boggart on the loose, and Tom and the Spook are going to take about a week to deal with it. And where the boggart ends up eventually is the farm Alice is at. Alice knows what's up with Meg and she rightly so does not stand for it. The Spook gets beaten to near death from the boggart and Tom has his sense of death activated. The only reason he doesn't die is because Alice has a bunch of potions ready for him. She's gracious to him in a way he doesn't deserve.
Morgan comes by for a visit after the boggart stuff goes down and chats with the Spook while he's still recovering. Tom eavesdrops and we know that Morgan wants something returned to him and that he's digging into a burial mound. And we learn that the Spook had a thing for Morgan's mother as well. Morgan holds how the Spook treated his mother against him.
We also know that strange noises come from Morgan's room, so Tom and Alice investigate. They don't find anything yet. Not long after, Alice moves in temporarily and gets along with Meg well. This isn't surprising at all considering they're both witches. I have to note that aside from feeling guilty a couple of times, Tom doesn't really seem to think all that deeply about what he and the Spook are actually doing to Meg here. Tom even says Alice has a bee in her bonnet about Meg, basically downplaying the opinion of another witch. Alice doesn't think it would hurt Meg to even remember some things about herself. Considering that Alice saved his life so many times already, perhaps he could take what she has to say seriously. All we know about Meg is that she was just very scary and pretty open about being a witch. Yet that is enough to justify her being drugged and her sister being put into a pit. But we'll get to that at the end.
Tom gets a letter from his brother Jack saying their dad's gotten sicker. He goes back to the farm and on the way, he runs into Morgan at a chapel, who tells him his dad died.
And it turns out to be the truth when Tom gets back to the farm. Jack sent it to the wrong address. Because of that, Tom missed the funeral and all his other brothers went home. Tom's mom just took flight after the funeral, so now it's Jack and his family. Another brother named James stayed over for sometime before going back, and from double checking on reddit, James and Jack are the only brothers of Tom we meet. We never meet the other four. What a wasted opportunity, honestly. Considering there's a total of 20 books in the entire series, of which thirteen are this arc, I feel like we could have met the other four.
Surprisingly, Jack inherited 99% of the farm instead of 100%. One single room in the house was left to Tom, and it's the same room where Mother Ward kept her silver chain. Jack wants to buy it from Tom so he can have all of the farm to himself, but Tom decides he wants to talk it over with his mother when she gets back and then decide. All of the emotions he's feeling are still fresh. He stays over at the farm for a week before going back to Anglezarke. Considering how much grief everyone's feeling, it checks out.
Jack basically is left in the dark about why Tom is allowed that specific room. He doesn't know how Mother and Father Ward met, and the room is on his property. And he doesn't know that his mother is a witch. On one hand, Jack is jealous of Tom to a gross extent because Tom gets a lot more attention from his mother, to the point where he was the only one taught Greek out of all of them (and Tom says Jack wasn't the only brother who had issues with this, which again shows how much of a lost opportunity not meeting his other brothers was), but on the other, he got put through the wringer because a witch Tom killed came back from the dead and went down to the farm when he just had a newborn child. And now that Father Ward is dead, one room on his property isn't left to him and he's completely left in the dark. I've grown to feel more sympathy for Jack now that I'm rereading these books as an adult. I've noticed a lot of readers don't because he is quite short tempered, but me....yeah.
When Tom goes back, he visits Alice now that she's supposed to be back with the Hursts. But he gets Morgan instead. Alice just yeeted because of how miserable she was with the Hursts. Morgan already knows the two of them were lurking in his room, but we don't know how he knows that. Morgan reveals that he uses ghosts stuck in the in between of life and the afterlife to charge people for the ability to talk to their dead loved ones. This is how we learn where the sounds in his room come from. Morgan summons his dead sister (she just wants to go to the afterlife) to bring the ghost of Tom's dad to manipulate him into getting a grimoire for Morgan. The grimoire is supposed to summon Golgoth, the winter god.
Both this book and book two examine the characters' beliefs in God and Christianity. I like this aspect because it allows the reader to see how they view the world around them and considering how much death there is involved in the job of being a spook, it makes sense that Tom and the Spook's belief in heaven and God would be examined. Spooks have to send ghosts into the afterlife, but John Gregory doesn't really believe in God. Tom isn't sure about it either, but he does think there exists something after death. This is the book where it becomes clear that Tom is agnostic. I find this quite believable considering spooks are isolated from the church, but as said before, they do deal with ghosts a lot. So this is a good aspect of them.
So Tom and his dad's ghost talk. Mother and Father Ward weren't exactly on the same page about the room, and if you recall from book two, we know that Father Ward is also in the dark about Mother Ward to a similar extent that Jack is. What's also interesting about this conversation is that none of Tom's brothers became a priest when it's the norm for large families to have at least one son become part of the church. Tom's dad is (was?) God-fearing, even if he couldn't make it to church because of his farm work and married a woman he knows doesn't believe in the same things he does. Father Ward was also not on board with Tom being a spook because of how dangerous and isolating the job is and also because it means he won't be buried in a church graveyard. Morgan basically uses Father Ward's faith against him in front of Tom. Tom tries to get his dad out of it, but fails. So he decides to talk to the Spook.
Meg recognizes him when he gets back. She usually confuses him for Billy, and this is a big sign something is wrong. And she remembers about his dad. Tom just doesn't realize it because he's so focused on getting his dad to the afterlife. The Spook is still sick, so Tom decides there's no harm in just giving Morgan the grimoire. He makes Meg's drug so he can do so with no distractions, but Meg already knows and she is very rightly so pissed. She locks him in the cellar. It's not hard to figure out what happened here that lead to Meg remembering. Meg was even willing to give Tom a chance to be better than the Spook. It was only when he tried to drug her that she gets mad at him. Considering everything, that is pretty amazing of her. A more feminist writer would've been more critical of the Spook, but again, these books were published in the 2000s.
Meg has released her sister from the pit but she does have her sister under control. She's already fed Marcia blood. It is implied from the chat she and Tom have that she's killed people, but she says most of them deserved it anyway. It's not really clear what's gone down with Meg and Marcia in the past.
Tom uses a visit Meg has with the Spook to free himself and get the grimoire. Meg does catch him, but he manages to flee the house. He goes to Andrew's new home. Alice is working for Andrew now. She likes Andrew a lot. She also doesn't feel bad for the Spook at all when she learns what happened.
The way Andrew can figure out how to make a key for the cellar is to see it himself. The three of them come up with a plan to get into the house to free the Spook. Tom stays overnight. And Morgan leaves a letter the morning after asking Tom to come see him. Interestingly, he signs it as Morgan G. instead of Morgan H.
So Tom does. They're at the grave of Emily Burns (remember when I said she's be important?), who is Morgan's biological mother. The Hursts are adopted family. Morgan claims he's Gregory's biological son, but honestly, it just doesn't add up at all. Not to mention, what we've seen of Morgan suggests he was just a bad apprentice, period, especially considering what happens at the end.
Morgan uses Father Ward's ghost to push Tom to get the grimoire from the desk, and Tom decides to cave in for good.
After Tom makes up his mind, Andrew, Alice and him execute their plan without a hitch. Tom and Alice rescue the Spook, and Tom goes back into the house by telling Alice he just has one unfinished task. He never comes up with a lie at all.
Back in the house, he runs into Marcia, the feral lamia witch. She's just feeding on birds at the moment. He gets caught by Meg while trying to escape. She's willing to just feed him to Marcia at this point. Tom just straight binds her with the chain. Marcia, luckily for him, is full of fresh blood and doesn't have the energy to feed on him, but it is somewhat hard for him to get it anyway. He puts Meg into a pit after the fact and since there's a storm outside, he decides to wait it out. He still doesn't have the grimoire because Marcia is on the loose.
Andrew and the Spook come to rescue him anyway. Marcia gets put back into the pit and the Spook decides to leave Meg in hers. Big ouch for her, honestly. Sure, feeding Tom to Marcia is harsh, but it's not exactly worse than what the Spook's done to her.
When Tom finally goes to get the grimoire, he gets caught by the Spook and another big confrontation occurs. The Spook says that Morgan is the son of a tanner and Emily Burns. Emily went for him just as much as he went for her, so they're both at fault. The tanner was a pretty shitty husband and father, so the Spook stepped up to help where he didn't. He even helped Morgan get a job with the Hursts. Morgan had an affair with the Hursts' daughter, and the Hursts were so against this the daughter eventually committed suicide. That's when he became the Spook's apprentice.
Morgan wants to raise Golgoth, and that requires a human sacrifice. He's already attempted it once, and that lead to his apprenticeship as a Spook ending. Golgoth sleeps in an ancient burial mound called the Round Loaf. Golgoth is where he gets his power from. He's gotten strong enough to use the dead like he did with Tom's dad.
When the weather gets better, Tom and the Spook get called to deal with a boggart, but it's a false alarm. They find the grimoire missing when they get back. We also learn that Morgan and Alice hung out together a few times as well. This isn't surprising because Morgan wants to get close to Gregory, and Alice is there to keep an eye on what's going on at the Hursts', which she does.
A little later on, Alice does tell them where they can find Morgan. He's likely to be in a church, summoning ghosts to talk to their loved ones and making money. He always does this on Tuesday nights. It's the same chapel Tom passed by on his way back to the farm.
Tom heads back to the Spook but gets caught by Morgan on the way. After we see Morgan do his dirty work of summoning ghosts at the chapel, he makes Tom dig into the Round Loaf and starts the ritual to summon Golgoth. That fails because Morgan didn't realize he had a fake copy of the grimoire with the spell done wrong on purpose, in the event he would try to do something like that. The original copy was destroyed so that no one could ever use it. Morgan gets himself killed in the process and Tom does have a very brief face down with Golgoth that he survives and the old god goes back to sleep. Meg, Marcia, and the Spook come to rescue him.
Meg's decided to take Marcia and head back to Greece. The Spook is set to see her off and Tom is left alone in the house for a while. Tom and the Spook stay until the end of April, when the Spook decides to take Alice back to Chipenden with him anyway.
Tom's mother wants him to keep the room. There's zero discussion about it beyond that. The room is a protected one that keeps whoever's in it safe from evil, but it does sap life from whoever's inside. Tom and Alice are young enough to not be impacted by this, but the Spook is old enough for it to kill him.
I think his sister in law Ellie is now in her second trimester, and considering that she miscarries in book four.....
Oh.
As for why Meg got drugged? Enough people were scared of her that it made its way to the sheriff, and Meg was at real risk of being hanged along with Marcia. So instead of just breaking up or Meg temporarily leaving, drugging Meg and putting Marcia into a pit was the way to go for him. The Spook says Meg was stubborn, but like.....come on.
Full rant time here:
I think the Spook being a hypocrite is a good thing. It also sets up a nice parallel between him and Tom. So there's a good plotline to develop here. What I don't like is how Delaney goes about executing this plot point. For one, the Spook is consistently given a sympathetic portrayal for what he's done to Meg. We do get some insight into Meg's side of the story, but not a lot. This doesn't even get into Marcia. We don't know how Meg herself felt about the situation with the sheriff and her possibly being hanged. We don't know if she had a different solution to that whole situation or not. And even after she's been drugged for years on end, it's strongly implied she still has affection for the Spook at the end of the book. This is part of a bigger pattern where male characters get offered leeway for things, both by the narrative and the readers, that they would never, under any circumstances defend a female character for. There's this one viral post going around about how fans simp for any basic male character but have deliberately piss poor reading comprehension when it comes to female characters (something that could also be said about how white vs black characters get treated in fandom, but I digress), and I think this could be said about how the narrative treats the Spook's choice to drug her as him being in a difficult position that few could understand, but again, other than Alice being really upset and Tom just feeling guilt a few times, there's very little acknowledgment of Meg's side here.
So what could have been done is that Meg could've chosen to leave the Spook's house for some time with the plan to come back, but because of how bad her reputation has gotten, the Spook and Meg decide to continue their romance through remote communication and by pretending they've broken up. This still works as the Spook being a hypocrite and the parallels are still there, but it now has the benefit of the Spook's sympathetic portrayal in this situation much easier to take, and it plays out the possible consequences of Tom and Alice being together in the future in a much better way. There's one scene in the book where the nurse comes to visit the Spook after he gets injured by the stone chucker and Alice also comes along and the nurse is incredulous at the idea a witch would help a spook. It's one small glimpse into the consequences of Tom having a relationship with Alice. And it avoids the whole drugging thing itself because at least Meg has a better shot at having her feelings here be acknowledged.
Adult read palate cleanser: Birnam Wood by Eleanor Catton. It's about this guerilla planting collective called Birnam Wood. Mira runs it, and she finds a property owned by a wealthy man named Owen and wants to plant there. Robert, a billionaire who works with Owen, is also at the property and offers to fund Birnam Wood. Mira agrees, and this starts a whole chain of events that plays out like a Greek tragedy. It's been a while since I've read it, but I remember liking this book a lot. It's a bit slow at first, but this works to help really get the reader into the characters' heads, so when it picks up and escalates about halfway through, it's a lot easier to make sense of why the characters make the choices they do.
I was talking to people on reddit about this. As some of them said, I do agree the first few books set up the opportunity to explore misogyny, but the series never really capitalizes on this because Delaney was the kind of writer who wrote by the seat of his pants, and that writing style actually negatively impacts the series, because there's some unnecessary filler. There's good filler and bad filler, and the series has both. I feel like if he had taken some time to plan out the rest of the series properly, we would have less bad filler and the character and plot developments would not have gone completely bonkers in a bad way. Because I've noticed that because Delaney didn't plot out in advance, the books come to really underwhelming conclusions where it becomes clear he had no way to resolve them. And it gets worse as time goes on.
And it shows here with Meg Skelton's character. I do think a huge problem with how the Spook is portrayed comes down to the author not really thinking the plots through heavily. I think writing by the seat of your pants is generally a bad thing because it means a higher chance of your work being derailed in bad ways, while planning the plot out means that the author can actually properly think through the finer details better. Otherwise we have the mess the series becomes later on. If Delaney had thought out the plots a bit more carefully, then a lot of unexplored potential the series had could have been covered, and this would've made them far better.
There was one person on reddit who noted that the whole Meg subplot is portrayed as the Spook's choices being inevitable. I agree with this, because other than book three, we don't see a lot of the Spook being depicted negatively. This could have worked if Tom had slowly come to a realization of how abusive the Spook actually is, but I remember enough about the series to know that this never really happens at all. So for this reason, I fall into feeling that the narrative ultimately doesn't respect Meg. If Tom had gradually realized who the Spook was, then I could agree a lot more about Meg being treated properly by the narrative. Because book three does set this up by having Meg leave the Spook and Tom himself drawing parallels between her and Alice, but it doesn't capitalize on this the way it could have had the plots been more carefully planned out.
And now that I have placed a hold for book four, which is where the series main arc starts, we're about to see Delaney not plotting the books out properly really start to kick in.
There's a scene in this third book where Tom decides to take the Spook at his word when he says Morgan isn't his son, but we never see the receipts. Tom tells Morgan he knows his aunt, aka his mom's sister, but we never meet Morgan's aunt. This is another lost opportunity because then we know for sure.
Book four is a big one folks. Strap in. And side note: These books would've been better had they been marketed toward a YA audience of ages 12-14.
Yeah. Is it any surprise Delaney switched to writing YA when he was done with this one?
The book opens with a legend about the Wardstone, which serves as nice foreshadowing for what evil was defeated there and how it was defeated.
Alice is training Tom for catching witches. He's been beaten by Alice every time they practice witch hunting together, so the Spook works him way harder. Tom is almost 14 at this point, and he's been an apprentice for over a year. Both of them know they are going to Pendle to deal with the witches there, but they don't know when. The Spook wants Tom to get his mother's trunks from the farm so they know what's in there while he has a visitor of his own.
We do learn some interesting information. Witches have different scents to their breaths depending on what type they specialize in. Bone and blood witches have bad breath that smells like dogs while familiar witches have a breath that smells like flowers. Familiar witches also have the power of fascination, which they can use to control men. There's a sexual element to this as well, but it's a kid friendly sexual element. And we do see Alice use fascination a few times in the series. Glamour is when a witch makes herself look younger and more beautiful than she is. Alice also uses this. I've picked up on some rather sexual portrayals of the witches by the standards of children's books. We already remember how Father Ward met Mother Ward in the second book, as well as the Spook and Meg. This fourth book has some of that too.
There's three big witch clans in Pendle: The Mouldheels, the Deanes, and the Malkins. There's a lot of rivalry going on between the three, though the Malkins and Deanes are closer. The Mouldheels are known to have some practice in magic that isn't familiar to the Spook: Mirrors. They use them to predict the future. There's a possibility that a coven from each (a coven is a group of 13 witches) clan could get together and raise some real trouble. The Spook is aiming to prevent that. There's an upcoming summer sabbath called Lammas, which is when the covens can gather together to raise hell. This is one of the four sabbaths when their dark power is at their greatest. In the real world, Lammas is a harvest celebration. I wonder how that would've looked like in these books.
The Spook's visitor is a priest, Father Stocks. Stocks was once an apprentice of the spook before he decided he wasn't up to it. He has all the tea on Pendle. And here we see a continuing examination of the religious beliefs on the characters. And Tom very clearly being agnostic.
Tom and Alice are sent off to Jack's farm while Stocks and the Spook chat in private. We get little nuggets of information about Pendle from Alice, who notes that people turn their mirrors inwards so they won't be spied on by witches. Pendle, as it turns out, is a nasty place to be.
When we get to the farm, it's burned down. What's remaining of it is a mess, and the trunks are gone. As per the last book, we know Tom is the only one to have a key to the special room where the trunks were stored, but from what we gather, Jack, his brother, also had one. He made a special version of it for himself.
Alice sniffs out that the fire happened recently and that there were witches on the farm. She thinks they found out about the trunks using mirrors. Because the witches are evil, they couldn't enter the room and almost certainly made Jack open the door and give the trunks to them. Alice offers to head to Pendle alone to locate Jack and his family because they've been kidnapped by the witches. As I've said before, Jack goes through the wringer because of Tom's apprenticeship.
Tom meets with Jack's neighbours and learns they've already contacted one of Tom's other brothers, James the blacksmith. We never meet the other four. James doesn't get put through the wringer as much as Jack does, which is why Tom and James get along way better. We also learn from the neighbour that there was a wealthy woman seen at the farm with the witches, and that all signs point to Pendle being where Jack and his family are.
When Tom tells the Spook, it's still not clear how Jack was able to access a locked room. The Spook decides to set off sooner rather than later. Lammas, the upcoming sabbath, is set to take place August 1st, two days before Tom's birthday.
On the way to Pendle, Tom and the Spook find a scissors carving by Grimalkin the witch assassin. She has a pretty important role to play in the series overall. Put a pin as far as she goes.
They stay over at Father Stocks' place. Stocks thinks the witches are trying to release Satan out into the world. Literal Satan. Yeah. And what's keeping that from happening is that the Mouldheels aren't on board with the Malkins and the Deanes.
While Stocks and the Spook are doing some investigating, a strange girl shows up at the house and says Alice has a spell put on her so she can't travel far. Immediately, Tom knows something is off. Still, he wants to see Alice that badly. He's already falling in love with her. So he decides to go with her and see what's up. The girl's name is Mab. She introduces him to her younger sisters. It's obviously a trap. The girls are trying to play games with him, one of which is a version of truth or dare. This version involves kisses and promises on top of the truths and dares. When Mab tries to kiss Tom, the place where Alice marked him in book one turns painful. Alice claimed Tom as hers. This is an interesting part of the books because there's another sexual layer to it. Alice decides that she can have Tom to herself and marked him in the first book so that she's guaranteed an ally and companion.
The three Mouldheel sisters leave and Tom goes after them. On the way there, Tom comes upon the Witches' Dell, which is where all the dead witches go. Those dead witches claim a lot of victims, so Tom has to be careful. He does make it through with some careful thought. When we reach the village the Mouldheel clan runs, Tom finds Alice there bound and the Mouldheels in the middle of a ritual. Tom rescues Alice from a cottage covered in mirrors, and he realizes he's being watched. Alice has had a spell cast on her to keep her from escaping via walking, but there's nothing in there about being carried, so Tom carries her out of there. When they reach the Witch Dell, Alice chats with a dead witch she knew and sets them onto the Mouldheels. We get some more commentary on the possibility of a romantic relationship between a spook and a witch through her, who says it always ends in heartbreak.
We know from Alice that Jack and his family were kidnapped by the Malkins and are being held in Malkin Tower. She also has an aunt named Agnes Sowerbutts who is a benevolent witch. Spoiler alert: Delaney does jackshit with her, which is a shame, because there's a lot we could learn about benevolent witches through Agnes. Would've liked to have more of her around.
The Malkins created a seer of their own, Tibb, which is how they knew about the trunks. Tibb can also see into the future. Tibb is an ugly creature, but he is strong and scary. He was created when the Malkins and Deanes had a truce on Halloween and cooked a pig's head. When it was boiled, each member of their respective covens spat into the cauldron where the head was cooked thirteen times. Then the head was fed to another pig. Seven months later, the pig's belly was cut open and out came Tibb. Not a big creature, but very scary.
Pick your monster folks.
Alice was also how Mab found out where Tom was. We also know the Deanes and the Malkins have approached Mab multiple times to discuss something, but Mab turns them away. Mab is now the leader of the clan at age fourteen or fifteen. She's exceptionally powerful for her age.
Stocks has suggested going to the magistrate to buy some time. Only problem is that the magistrate, Roger Nowell, doesn't believe witches exist. Doesn't really care for spooks either. Sneaking around didn't end well for Alice, and there's a lot still to be learned, so this is their best bet. Stocks has connections he uses to help Tom out here. We do get a little scene where Tom and Stocks discuss God, and Tom concludes that everyone sees the world differently. Everyone sees how they can make the world a better place differently, and Tom decides that Stocks found a way to make the world better that worked for him, but not for Tom.
Nowell's house is run by Mistress Wurmalde, and right away, she proves to have made an impression. She's dressed more like court lady than a secretary, and she clearly likes her position. It's said she acts above it, in a sense. Tom realizes she's a witch when she sniffs him.
They have a really brief meeting with Nowell where Tom just gives the names and ages of his family members, and Tom senses Wurmalde may be watching him. He thinks that the only way Nowell could not believe in witches is that Wurmalde has to have bewitched him using glamour or fascination.
When Nowell, his constable, Tom and Stocks reach Malkin Tower, trouble hits. The witches throw the chamber pot stuff at them, so the constable decides to grab some soldiers to storm the castle. Stocks and Tom stay overnight with Nowell, where Tom mentions what he's figured out about Wurmalde, but Stocks, who has the same abilities he does, didn't sense anything. Tom decides he overthinks things. Later that night, he sees a coach leaving Nowell's estate, and he's curious if it's Wurmalde. Sure enough, it is her. And she has something with her that isn't human either. Stocks is out of it because of dinner, which may or may not have been poisoned, so Tom is on his own. He tries to escape only to run into her. He realizes she has a similar accent to his mother. So there's a connection between the two of them.
Wurmalde wants the keys to the trunks from Tom in exchange for the lives of his family, but Tom makes the decision to refuse because as painful as losing family members would be, giving over the keys would result in all of Lancashire County and beyond being in danger. The lives of many outweigh the lives of few, and in this situation, the few in question are Tom's brother Jack, his heavily pregnant wife, and toddler niece. And the conditions they are being held in are bad. Jack apparently has lost it while in captivity and Ellie delivered a stillborn. It's talked about as a miscarriage, but honestly, given how heavily pregnant she is at this point, better to call it what it is. All the while, Tom is wondering why she doesn't just take the keys from him since she's powerful enough to do so. He buys time by asking for a night and a day to make his final decision and is stubbornly insistent on it. Tom also knows Wurmalde has Tibb with her to keep on eye on him, but where he is is anyone's guess.
Wurmalde and Mother Ward are enemies, and have been for a long time. Wurmalde wants revenge on Mother Ward, and is happy to use her sons as means to an end. She also threatens to hand Tom's family over to Grimalkin, but as we later learn, Grimalkin, despite being an assassin, refuses to end a life without good reason, which is a really interesting character trait to add. It gives some really good complexity.
After the confrontation with Wurmalde, Tom rests in his room. Stocks is being tortured in his sleep. Tibb is also there, and he starts giving Tom a prophecy about his future: Alice will betray and die for him, his life will be sad, Tom listens to Tibb talk shit about his mother and defends her. Tibb also mentions a goat song, but that's for later. Tom gets Tibb to back off by telling him that what's in the trunk will kill him, and that gets him to back off for the time being.
Tibb fed upon Stocks during the night, and Tom decides to use the day to escape and get the Spook. He gets out through a window and ivy as rope, and heads to Stocks' house. Alice is the only one there. Brother James arrived and went off with the Spook. Once they get up to speed, Tom and Alice take off. Tom knows some of Nowell's servants are helping Wurmalde, so he trusts no one. Alice reveals Mab offered to release his family in exchange for the trunks, but Tom doesn't trust her. Mab figured out how to get in through Alice's dead witch relative. After an argument, the two hatch a plan: Get Mab's guard down enough to free Jack, Ellie, and Mary and retrieve the trunks for themselves. Tom feels weird about double crossing someone because his dad instilled a lot of black and white morals in him, but Alice is more realistic.
First things first, Tom and Alice break in to Nowell's house. However, when Tom gets to Stocks' room, he's already been murdered. He was set up by Wurmalde, and Nowell takes her side. Tom gets locked up despite there not being a lot of evidence against him when we really think about it. Wurmalde controls Nowell using fascination and glamour, which keeps him from being rational. It's implied that Nowell would have thought again before arresting Tom if he wasn't under Wurmalde's control.
The people working for Wurmalde are prepping for war, but not with the Malkins. There's an invasion south of the county, and there's a real chance it could come to them. Tom is taken with them as they are firing at Malkin Tower. The job is not going well because well, magic. Overnight, the soldiers camp out and Tom tries to escape only to realize a group of witches is coming. Everyone except Tom is knocked out because they ate poisonous food but he didn't.
The group of witches are the Malkins. Mab just wants to grab some blood for magic. She doesn't plan to kill anyone. Tom talks her out of it. Alice has been in contact with her and neither of them trust Wurmalde. It's an enemy of my enemy is my friend situation. Mab wants the keys to the trunks in exchange for Jack, Ellie and Mary. Tom plans to double cross her anyway. Granted, he has good reasons not to trust her, but a situation like this is one where he needs all the allies he can get. On the other hand, it's possible Mab would double cross him as well. And considering how little is done with Mab's character in the series, there's lots of lost opportunities. It's heavily implied Mab has a thing for Tom. On one hand, I despise love triangles and always have, even as a child (thankfully, adult books means they are easier to avoid), on the other, Mab could have been an excellent foil for Alice and Grimalkin. I will touch upon what should have been done with Mab's character at the end of this post.
Getting into Malkin Tower is HARD. Alice, Tom and Mab crawl through a tunnel under a burial chamber, and the tunnel is tight. Alice and Mab are kind of at it during the process. Kind of understandable, considering what Mab just put Alice through. And they don't know a lot about her.
After a messy journey to the cells of Malkin Tower, they find a torture chamber where prisoners are kept. This implies Jack was tortured. The soldiers have already restarted their attack when they find Jack, Ellie, and Mary, and all of them are in a bad state. Jack is the worst of all. He's been completely mute since they were abducted. Ellie is still scared enough of Alice and Mab that she refuses the former's comfort. Tom does wonder if going into Mother Ward's special room was what's done it to Jack because only he and Alice can be in there. Alice gives Jack a potion to help him, but only time can tell if it will be effective. All the while, the candle they have has gone out and the Tower in under attack by the soldiers. Mab suggest waiting the soldiers out so the Malkins will be distracted with them, and then making their escape. This would leave Jack, Mary and Ellie in the hands of the soldiers, but they do have a neighbour who saw what went down with the farm, and soldiers are safer than witches. It's pretty unlikely Mab will end up getting the trunks, and Tom would prefer the military having them over Mab.
When the time comes, all of them make their escape. They end up in the room where Mother Ward's trunks are. Mab is just about ready to open them up. The soldiers have already left, and so have the Malkin witches. Mab has already seen some of the future, and she knows that the soldiers will be off to war soon because there's an invader coming. They've already left because of that. Mab basically played 4D chess with Tom and Alice because of her fortune telling, and she has the rest of the Mouldheels coming to get the trunks. She also wants to drink the blood of Mary, Tom's niece, at Lammas so she her mirror future telling skills are even better. I quite like Mab, if you can't tell, but I don't blame Tom for betraying her anyway since I wouldn't be nice to someone who was happy to drink my niece's blood after my brother and sister in law just got put through the wringer. And Mab has the bargain Tom made with her about the trunks as leverage. So how does Tom double cross her?
Tom tells Mab he will give her the keys. Everyone else gets taken out of the tower except for him and Mab and her two sisters. When Mab and her sisters try to open the trunks, they can't. At least with two of those trunks, they can't. Clearly, Tom's mother placed a magical spell on them.
The trunk that they do open has Tom's mother's wedding dress, the shirt Tom's dad used to protect Mother Ward from the sun, and other things like diaries, potions, a lot of money, and so forth. Mab and her sisters are pretty disrespectful with how they treat this stuff too. There's also a letter in the largest of the books written to Tom, and the trunk that they just opened was meant to be the first to be opened. She wrote it in Greek so only Tom could understand what's in there. It's the same with the other books. We learn what's in the other two trunks: Mother Ward's own two lamia sisters, who've been asleep. They can only be opened in moonlight by Tom himself. And moonlight has to directly touch them in order for them wake up.
And I have to note that Jack and the other brothers have had more than a few witches living under their roof the whole time. Honestly, A+. Incredible, honestly. I love it. Mother Ward fucked up raising her other six sons just so Tom could be a good spook, and I support women's wrongs. Everyone loves Enji Todoroki, after all.
And Tom knows for sure his mother is a lamia witch. Just like Meg, who Tom still doesn't seem to realize that what happened to her was pretty fucking bad. But I digress.
Tom only discloses the part about the moonlight and bargains with Mab again to get Jack medical help and the rest of the family to safety. Mab agrees.
While they are waiting for moonlight, Tom gets some answers about Wurmalde from Mab. She just hits on Tom while answering his questions. Mab is not a fan of hers and thinks she has no business being in Pendle. She knows that Wurmalde wants revenge on Tom's mother. Wurmalde wants to raise literal Satan out of hell to get revenge on Tom's mother, so she's decided to use the Pendle witches to do so. Mab does not think bringing literal Satan out into the world is a good idea, and this is where we see some complexity with Mab. She has lines that she won't cross. Literal Satan is hard to control, and once he's out of hell, there's very little chance of sending him back. There is a chance with three covens instead of two, they might be able to control him and the witches that do raise him become more powerful. Mab's not willing to take the risks. Pendle is at least controllable as far as she's concerned.
Once the trunks are opened and Tom's lamia aunts wake up, Mab is pissed. She accuses Tom of betraying her, but if we remember, she was all too happy to kill Tom's niece for her blood. And part of her anger comes from having feelings for Tom as well. So this is what makes Mab decide to join up with the other clans and bring literal Satan into the human world. And somehow Tom is still a goody two shoes who takes what his dad taught him seriously, even when he has no reason to be nice to the people he's being mean too.
Tom starts thinking about what his dad told him in book 2. About how the sisters were domestic when they met Father Ward, but slowly shape shifted to feral when they were put into the trunks. And he remembers that his mother once told him people are neither fully good nor bad, but lean toward one way or the other and that she became good solely because of Tom's dad. He wonders if his mother was once bad herself. Spoiler alert: She was. But that's for another book.
Tom stays in the tower overnight now that the lamias are guarding it from the witches. He has the trunks in his hands, so all is good for the time being. He just needs to touch base with everyone else. Luckily, Alice, the Spook, and Tom's brother James have come to get him. It's been three years since the two of them have seen each other in person. Tom gets them up to speed. Jack, Ellie, and Mary are at an aunt of Alice's named Agnes, who is a benevolent witch. Unfortunately, Delaney doesn't do much with Agnes either. Again, another lost opportunity.
James has been able to get some allies from the non witching side of Pendle to help them out. After catching up, they decide to deal with Wurmalde first since the clans are likely to stop working together once she's out of the picture. Tom decides to leave his brother in the dark about Mother Ward and her sisters. James reveals that he had a chat with Mother Ward about Tom being a spook and she asked him to give Tom a hand with his spook's work if necessary. She also asked him to move in with Jack if need be as well. James seems happy to do it because where he works, there's not much anyway. Jack's state is bad, so moving in might make things a lot easier for his family while he's in recovery. James does play a semi important role in the series.
The plan for the morning is for Tom and Alice to head to Aunt Agnes', while James and the Spook deal with the non witches and find Wurmalde and Mab. Aunt Agnes is a nice middle aged lady. Jack has physically recovered, but mentally he hasn't. Alice thinks there might be something in the trunks that could help him. Agnes, on her request, uses the mirror to locate Mab. She's with Wurmalde and there might not be any changing her mind at all.
Tom and Alice take Jack, Mary and Ellie back to the tower for safety. The lamia witches are there, after all, and Agnes has no protection at her home (she's still alive at the end of the book, BTW). The Pendle witches are trailing after them throughout the whole trip too. And the clans' men as well. Once they get to the castle and the coast is clear, it's almost two days until Lammas. Wurmalde is top priority, so Tom and the Spook head off to deal with her first thing. They go to Nowell's house. Nowell's already been killed at this point.
Tibb, who is the size of a dog, is nearby. He's already incredibly weak. Creatures like him age super fast, as it turns out, and he's dying. But we do know that Wurmalde plans to sacrifice Tom to bring literal Satan into the world. Tom's mother was chained to a rock thanks to Wurmalde as revenge for not being evil. Mother Ward was immortal once, and gave it up to be with Father Ward. It was atonement for being evil. Sailor Jakey from England must have been special for an immortal to willingly give up her immortality to be with him. I don't know how I feel about Mother Ward being immortal instead of being an incredibly powerful run of the mill witch. On the other hand, there is a plot twist regarding her in book 6 that I dislike a lot for reasons I will touch upon when we get there.
After the Spook kills Tibb, they decide to head back to the tower. No one knows where Wurmalde actually is. Alice has figured out a potion from Mother Ward's trunks to help Jack recover mentally. Meanwhile, the villagers James met with have changed their minds about helping out with the witches. Too scared.
At night, the Spook, Tom, Alice and James leave Jack, Mary and Ellie in the tower guarded by lamia witches. They've decided to try again with the villagers using Stocks as being the one calling them. It does work to an extent since no one wants literal Satan out on the loose. That same night, everyone heads out for battle. Tom immediately loses all confidence once he sees the number of witches and respective members of the clans ready to witness the great coming of literal Satan into the world. Doesn't help that Grimalkin the witch assassin is there too. Remember me mentioning her earlier on in this post?
Thanks to some clever planning by the Spook, they are able to ambush the witches. Tom's lamia aunts join in on the battle last minute as well. One of them kills Wurmalde off unceremoniously, and honestly, BOOOO. I think Wurmalde should have just been allowed to have escaped by her author and been brought back for another book instead of being killed off. Especially because unlike Mother Malkin, the Bane, and Morgan, we don't learn all that much about her, period. How did she get into Nowell's house? How long has she been in England? When did her and Mother Ward become enemies? Those are questions I have.
Other than that, the battle with the witches is pretty cool. As it turns out, the witches already carried out the ritual to bring literal Satan out into the world. So they lost before they even began. The next best option is to head back to Tom's farm and hide in the special room his mother prepared for him and Alice.
On the way home, Tom runs into Mab and chews her out for bringing Satan into the world. Mab (who is about the same age as Tom, so 14 or 15) tells him she agreed to do it because she was upset Tom rejected her romantic advances and pulled the lamia in the box trick on her. Grimalkin is also following behind Tom. And the weather is all funky because Satan is now on the loose. The witches will only be able to control him for about two days at most, and after that, it's anyone's game.
Right when he's near the farm, Grimalkin catches up with him. Her teeth are filed to points, and she wears the thumb bones of her victims around her neck. She wears a skirt that's partitioned with each partition tied around her legs when she could just wear trousers. I don't understand this particular writing detail. Grimalkin seems happy to make Tom's death quick, but he decides to use the silver on him against her. Silver is a witch's kryptonite. So then Grimalkin uses the hard way against him, yet Tom manages to survive because time just slowed down. This is foreshadowing for another power Tom inherited from his mother. We don't learn exactly what it is until later.
Tom reflects a bit on what it means to be pure when he's in the room. He notes Mab is said to always keep her word despite being on the side of evil and Grimalkin having a code of honour despite being an assassin. He's in the room for two days and reflects on what Satan being in the world means, and what exactly is the purpose of life if everyone ends up dead anyway. This is baby's first taste of morality and philosophy outside of the black and white binary, which is fine considering who the target audience is.
Just when he decides to step outside the room, the ghost of Stocks shows up. Stocks is unable to get to the other side despite being a priest/spook. He's feeling like there was no point to his life anyway. Tom sends him to the light by getting him to think of a happy memory. And I think this is how Tom decides what the point of his life is.
After sending Stocks to the other side, he leaves the room. It's now his fourteenth birthday (August 3rd, BTW). The weather has gone back to normal. Alice and the Spook have come to get him. The house is completely damaged from Satan trying to get Tom, but the room kept him safe those two days. A whole bunch of damage was done now that Satan is on the loose. And that also means the witches are going to get more powerful. Satan is able to shapeshift too, and that makes everything so much worse.
The three of them stay at the farm to do some cleaning up around the farm, and while Tom chats with Alice about his birthday, he remembers Tibb talking about a girl who would grow into a woman who would love him, betray him, and then die for him. It could be either Mab or Alice, which makes the fact Delaney does so little with Mab's character all that much worse. He chooses to leave Alice out of the loop as far as what Tibb says.
In the epilogue, Jack is recovering mentally, and James has moved in with him, Mary, and Ellie. Ellie's still uneasy about the whole thing. There are gangs kidnapping people for war. The Spook likes to send apprentices off for six months to train with another spook, and Tom's time to do that is coming pretty soon.
This last section of the book is told from Alice's point of view, which is great. Tom is the only person she really cares about. Her parents were always fighting and had only been dead for three days when Bony LIzzie came to get Alice. Alice is pretty indifferent about the deaths of her parents and even notes how strange it is to not be upset. Alice initially was going to stay with Aunt Agnes, but Lizzie just up and took her. We do get to see certain events of the story from her point of view. We also do see her meeting up with Aunt Agnes. And we get to see Mab kidnapping Alice and her being questioned as well. And we learn about Tom's rescuing of her. At the end of her section, she says she would gladly die for Tom. I think this was supposed to be foreshadowing, but for reasons that I will dive into in the later books, this doesn't quite follow through.
Final thoughts:
Wurmalde is supposed to be immortal. The fact that she gets killed off so easily is garbage. So far, both Mother Malkin and Wurmalde, female villains, get killed off easily while the two male villains we've had aren't. It just lowers the stakes in a bad way when an immortal character gets killed off so easily. As I've said before, I would've let Wurmalde escape and then have her be brought back for another book. Having her escape wouldn't have affected the overall plot anyway, and it would also be a good opportunity to expand upon her background a bit. And we'd be able to get more info about Mother Ward as well. Then the story can kill Wurmalde off. And it should be way harder to kill Wurmalde off as well.
Mab should have had a redemption arc of sorts. Ideally, she would have a come to earth moment realizing how stupid it was to agree to bring literal Satan out into the world because a boy rejected her advances and decide to ally with Tom to make things right. At the end of the series, she takes over Pendle and sets about fixing it. We never really get that with Mab, which is a disappointment. I would love to know how she became the clan leader at such a young age, for one.
Agnes should have also made more appearances because we don't meet a lot of benevolent witches in the series. How does a benevolent witch fit into Pendle and the wider outside world? How about having her ally with Tom as well? I would bring Mab, Wurmalde, and Agnes back for another book and then build upon them further so that Mab and Agnes can help fight against Satan.
Other than killing Wurmalde off too easily, I think this fourth installment is excellent. The stakes are crazy high, Mother Ward just got more complicated, Tom knows there's a lot about her he doesn't know, war is coming up, Satan is on the loose, and the good guys lost, which builds tension well for me. And Tom has an assassin chasing after him now, too.
Adult read: Bao Ninh's The Sorrow of War. I just finished it, and I thought it was a good exploration of the psychological and mental impact of war. It can be considered semi autobiographical since the author drew from his own experiences fighting in the Vietnam War.
Book 5 is pretty damn good in its own right. And the female villain is actually somewhat difficult to defeat for once.
Right off the bat, Tom nearly gets abducted by a group of soldiers looking to desert. There's high rates of poverty in Lancashire due to the war. He plans to escape them by staying with them until it's dark, but Alice is the one to save him. Jakey is always getting saved by his girlfriend in comparison to the other way around, and the big reason she's into him is because he's one of the few to treat her with kindness. Which is better than nothing, at least, and considering that he still hasn't figured out what's wrong with drugging Meg, that says a lot. I'm still not over that part, and considering how significant it is in Book 3, I feel like there were other avenues Delaney could've gone down instead of never really allowing Tom to gradually change his views on Gregory. Especially with Arkwright being present as a foil to him. But I will get to what I would change when I'm done all thirteen books.
What's interesting here is one of the men kidnapping him thinks spooks are phonies, which would be a really interesting angle to explore. We already got a lot about normies and the church, so going a bit deeper into disbelievers would be interesting. I know Book 4 touched upon this somewhat, but not as much as it could have.
Alice saves Tom by pretending to be a Medusaesque witch under moonlight, which is said to reveal the truth of things. Explicitly disguising herself like this is dark magic, and it's strong enough to set Tom's spidey senses off. This is called dread, and it's the opposite of glamour. Tom is not happy with Alice for using dark magic, despite her saving his life more times than he can care to count. I guess this isn't completely unbelievable because of the nature of how Tom's been trained and his youth.
In any case, the Spook has decided Tom needs to be sent off to train with Bill Arkwright. Bill used to serve in the military, and he is one harsh master. Tom's already antsy because Alice and the Spook won't let him be alone because literal Satan is on the loose, and Arkwright is not enthusiastic about taking Tom on as his apprentice.
At this point, I believe it's mid-October, so about 10 weeks since the ending of Book 4. Tom's set to send letters to the Spook and Alice once a month, and he gets a new staff with a blade in it. In the northern area of Lancashire is mostly water. That's the real dangerous part of this area.
On the way, they discuss Satan and his powers. He can shapeshift, slow time, and is manipulative. On a reread, this seems a bit underwritten. I would've added some more powers to Satan as well. The Bane had the ability to speak in someone's mind and Golgoth could bring permanent winter.
Arkwright sends a man named Matthew Gilbert to pick Tom up at the designated meeting point. Alice quietly asks Tom to use a mirror to communicate with her, but Tom is not on board. He does giver her a kiss on the left cheek to say goodbye. Yet it takes him until Book 8 for him to realize he's in love with her. Teenage boys are so so SO dense.
Gilbert delivers goods Arkwright orders. The man is an alcoholic, which makes Tom's training with him all that much more delightful. And the cherry on top is that Arkwright guards his rather dilapidated mill and house with a menacing garden and a stream that Tom has to wade through to get to the house. Arkwright isn't even there because he's off dealing with a dead body found in water. Since it's getting cold, Tom has to use the special key to get in. The man is nice to leave a note for Tom. By the way, Arkwright's house is haunted and there's a couple of rooms that are off limits. Tom falls asleep after hearing a scream from a ghost.
Arkwright is friendly at first, and to break the ice, he starts with arm wrestling. Tom watched his older brothers Jack and James, the former of who is said to be three years older than him, arm wrestle. Unless lamia witch and human cross reproduction work differently, Jack is the oldest of seven brothers. That's a lot in three years. Delaney definitely didn't think through this one. I always thought of Jack being five or six years older than Tom, so about 17 or 18 in the first book as opposed to 15 or 16, which would make more sense at least. Three years is crazy. Delaney forgot the other four brothers exist.
Arkwright explains a lot about the geography of the area, which is all water and quite dangerous because humans are not aquatic. Water witches, which is what Arkwright specializes in, are creatures of the lakes, rivers, and seas, and use skelts, a large insect like creature, to kill their victims. After the skelt drains the victim's blood over 10 days, the skelt is killed and eaten by the witch. This process increases the power the witch gains three times over than what she would otherwise. Arkwright has water witches in his mill, imprisoned the same way the Spook imprisons his witches. He keeps them alive for a while: One year for each life taken, two for the life of a child. Then he kills them and feeds the raw heart to his dogs. He has two: Tooth and Claw.
On the first day of training with Arkwright, Tom gets pushed right into the water to learn how to swim and learns people float naturally. In order to sink, you have to hold a heavy rock to go downward. Swimming is pretty important because again, water witches. Tom also gets a lesson in hand to hand combat from Bill as well. Right away, it's shown that Bill Arkwright is a fair bit harsher than John Gregory, due to being younger and having served in the military.
On Day 2, Tom and Arkwright get called to a mission neither of them really want to do. There's a selkie married to a man. Selkies are sea creatures who much like humans, are neither good nor bad and can go either way. They live long lives, and sometimes find a man they like and marry him. They never have children, but the marriage usually tends to be a very happy one and the selkies never age visibly at all. A townsman wants Arkwright to come and kick the selkie out, and this has been a point of contention for quite a while. Bill himself thinks this is a waste of time because the selkie hasn't actually hurt anyone at all, but he also has had local townspeople give him a lot of shit about her presence for quite a while. The obvious attitude he has about the whole thing is that he doesn't like it, but there are some things that are unfortunately part of the job. Tom, on the other hand, decides there are some jobs he will turn down when he becomes a spook.
And this would've been a good opportunity to gain Arkwright's insight into how he sees the situation between Meg and the Spook, and by proxy, Tom and Alice. We never get this insight at all, which is such a huge lost opportunity. Bill Arkwright himself, much like Mab Mouldheel, is a huge lost opportunity period. Both characters get entire books setting them up to be important only for jackshit to be done with them, and in Arkwright's case, he gets killed off in the book after this one. Yeah. While I am well aware that I'm reading a book for 10-13 year olds, there are some more adult criticisms I have that I think are still valid because of how the story is set up only for it to not go in the direction it's set up to go in. There's no payoff for the set up, and that pisses me off. Even tween me didn't like that either.
Tom does compare the situation with that of Meg and his mother, but it's more from the perspective of the man who's watching his non-human girlfriend be chased down by dogs instead of you know, the other avenues that could've been explored here. This could be chalked down to Tom's age, but the Doylist explanation says Delaney didn't really think about this because he always wrote by the seat of his pants, a writing style I personally don't encourage because you risk having your plot go off the rails compared to having it be tightly plotted out. Again, I'm well aware I'm not the target audience for this, but considering some of what's already in these books, I think it would be possible to go fully into Tom gradually realizing the Spook is actually a shit human being, narrative foils, and what not at a level the target audience can digest. My first thought about all of this is that Avatar: The Last Airbender accomplished a lot while being digestible to its target audience. I think this series was more than capable of doing the same.
Back to the story: After this, Tom really comes to dislike Arkwright when he gets drunk and goes quite hard on him during a training session. He lets his curiosity get the better of him and explores the rooms Arkwright told him not to because he's bored and pissed with Arkwright. Tom finds a library in his house and two coffins in it. The coffins are that of Arkwright's parents. Just when Tom is leaving, he gets caught by Arkwright snooping around, and the man is even more drunk than he was before. After this, Tom decides to head back to the Spook and Alice. Before he gets too far, Arkwright shows the letter the Spook wrote to him asking him to take Tom on. Amazingly, the Spook didn't want to send Tom to Bill Arkwright because he was quite bad to his last apprentice and because of his alcoholism. It's clear that for Tom, knowing this is what pushes him to go back to Arkwright.
When he does get back, there are two things on the table: Sleep training so Tom can wake up easily if something approaches him, and the whole ghost situation Arkwright has going on. His father died after an accident, and his mother killed herself by drowning as a result. Suicide as a cause of death prevents someone from going to the other side, which is a very Christian idea. How would this work with someone like Tom, who is agnostic?
Because Amelia, Bill's mother, couldn't go to the other side, Abraham, Bill's father, decided not to go either. So now they're both stuck. They can't move much further than their bones, so that's why the coffins are there. The reason Arkwright became a spook was so he could send both of them to the other side. His alcoholism is a coping method for being unable to do so. After this, Tom agrees to never enter that room again.
After a few days of practicing hunting with Tooth and Claw, Tom is given an assignment to run all the way to a small hill while the dogs are chasing after him. If he gets there first, he gets the next day off. He has to go through marshland to get there. On the way, he runs into a water witch, and not just any witch: She's the most notorious of all, Morwena, aka Bloodeye. Her left eye, which is pure red, can paralyze anyone to the spot, and when her target is frozen, she hooks them with her talon, usually by the ear or mouth, and drags them into the water to kill them and feed upon blood. She can only freeze one person at a time and can't survive on land for more than an hour, and can only use her power when it's needed the most. She also is the daughter of Satan (it's stated her mother is unknown), is centuries old, and has killed numerous people. Arkwright himself was almost killed by her himself, and I suspect the reason he survived is the same reason Tom also does: One of his dogs attacked her, and from this particular attack on Morena, one of her fingers is bitten off in the process of saving Tom. This means they can now track her and have two people take on her at once.
Arkwright has been hunting her for a very long time, and the finger is a huge lead. He has a whole book he himself wrote up on her in his library. While he himself can't track her, there is someone he knows who can.
Across the sands of Morecambe Bay, where the tides can get high and crossing the beach there is hard and dangerous as a result, toward a high mountain in Cartmel, lives a hermit, Judd Atkins. He can track anything down in exchange for a price of his choosing. In the area, press gangs are active, and if Arkwright deals with them, he will use Morwena's finger to track her.
This ends up being the same press gang that kidnapped Tom, BTW. Arkwright is drunk the whole time he deals with them, and we do get to see a moment where Tom's training with Arkwright pays off.
After that, Tom and Bill stay at the hermit's place for a couple of nights while he tracks down Morwena, and he tracks three locations. The hermit thinks she spends time at all three equally. The strongest reaction came from Coniston, so that's where the two of them set off. I am aware the page links to the county of Cumbria instead of Lancashire, but Cumbria borders Lancashire, so it's fine.
They stop by at an inn for the night, and Bill Arkwright gets so drunk he's nauseous and hungover the next day and in no shape to hunt for Morwena. Tom takes Claw and sets out on his own, leaving Tooth will Bill. He thinks he's found signs of Morwena through a bird he sees flying ahead and could potentially be her familiar, but when he gets back to Bill and Tooth, Tooth is dead and Bill has been taken by the water witch, presumably dead.
Tom decides to flee and get the Spook involved. He gets in touch with Alice through the mirror and tips her off. They plan to meet at the mill, and Tom chooses to cross the sands of Morecambe Bay even knowing that they might not be safe to cross so he can flee quicker.
Just before he reaches the sands, Morwena has caught up with him. Thanks to Claw again, he survives and avoids looking at Morwena the whole time. Because of the geography of the sands and tide, which brings salty seawater that witches would not like, Tom and Claw successfully flee back to the water mill.
At the mill, Amelia, the ghost of Arkwright's mother, says he actually isn't dead at all. Tom doesn't buy it at first, but we come to find out later on that she is correct. This is likely to be the result of how close he and his mother were, and it's also because of how she died. Also: Remember what I mentioned about skelts and keeping the victim alive for 10 days earlier?
Matthew Gilbert has shown up to make a delivery. His daughter, who is around Tom's age, has also come to tag along. He has a letter from the Spook, who is asking him to come urgently to Lancaster. Gilbert is willing to give Tom a ride, but first things first, Tom needs to get some stuff of his before he can set off.
Alice has already made it to the mill. She says the Spook isn't in Lancaster, but in Pendle to look at Mother Ward's trunks, which are still in Malkin Tower. Alice thinks that perhaps some business just came up in Caster and that's why the Spook is there now. Conveniently, Claw the bloodhound is also pregnant with twins. The two of them head out to meet with Gilbert and his daughter and set off. Gilbert's daughter doesn't engage with them all that much, and she goes on her own way to take care of other stuff, and Tom and Alice don't think much of it, but as it turns out, that's a huge red flag.
The "girl" is actually Morwena in disguise. "Gilbert" is actually Satan himself disguised. The real Matthew Gilbert was killed by him. Neither Alice nor Tom were aware. Morwena and literal Satan have already lured the Spook and he's close by. Tom is the bait.
The Spook has a fight with Morwena while Tom is tied up as the bait. He avoids looking into her eyes the whole time. Once he fends Morwena off, Tom and Alice are freed and the three flee back to Arkwright's mill. Tom owns up to using the mirror to contact Alice, and the Spook is pissed. Meanwhile, Alice seems to be quite shaken up by the whole experience, which is unusual.
The next morning, Alice does relay some information she learned from Lizzie: There are ways to keep Satan at bay, but it's not clear what yet. And as for why Satan didn't just kill Tom then and there, it's because he's been hobbled. That might explain why he didn't come and kill Tom back in Book 4 when he left the special room. Having one of his children do it, on the other hand, is a loophole. It's not clear how he was hobbled to begin with, but it could be Tom's mother that did it. Satan could also just get Tom on his side by making him use the dark. Alice and him communicating through the mirror is just one step to that.
The three of them and Claw set off to get Bill Arkwright. The first stop is at Judd the hermit's place. The hermit's price is to pay some money toward that of drowning victims. The thing used to track Bill is his mother's wedding ring, which he occasionally wears. They stay overnight.
Tom and Alice get into an argument over her use of dark magic, where she reveals Tom's mother is fine with her use of it to protect Tom and has used a mirror to talk to Alice. Tom hasn't spoken to her since she went back to Greece.
We also get some insight into the hermit. He was born with the ability to dowse and learns quite a bit about people through that. It's inherited, and unfortunately, we don't meet more dowsers in the series. That's another underdeveloped aspect here.
Judd predicts that Tom and Alice shouldn't be together. They're both polar opposites, and he also predicts a meeting with Alice's father soon. Yet Alice's dad has been dead for a while. So something is up.
Bill is known to be on an island in the bay. So that means they'll have to take a boat. The next day, they set off to find someone who will take them there. We get a lot of information along the way.
One way to protect against Satan is to make a witch bottle. This would involve having to get the blood or urine of Satan or one of his children and some needles, pins, and stones and put it all into a bottle. A small amount works for the purpose. It has to be left out in the sun for three days and buried under a dung heap at the next full moon. Tom rejects this when Alice proposes it, but this is some foreshadowing. If they choose to go with blood, Tom will have to mix some of his own into the jar just to keep Satan away from him for good.
Something else also comes up: When the Spook, Alice, and Tom set off to save Bill, they find the mark of Grimalkin. So this just gets better. There's been turmoil in Pendle ever since Satan came upon the world. So it's everyone for themselves now.
They find a fisher named Deana who is happy to take them out. At midnight, they set off. On the island are two towers: One with an entrance and one without. After scouting both and successfully locating Arkwright in the one without an entrance through its windows, they have to come up with a plan. An underground lake with a tunnel connects the two towers, and this is almost certainly how the witches got Arkwright into the other tower. So now what Tom's been taught about swimming is going to come into use here.
After Tom gets to the other side, he finds Bill Arkwright and helps him get into shape. There's a second tunnel in the underground lake, which likely leads to the wider bay. For what it's worth, any clear surface works to be used as a mirror for communication, and the lake counts. Grimalkin uses it to contact Tom. She warns him witches are on the way.
When Tom revives Arkwright, the latter decides to swim through the tunnel first despite his weakened state and visible signs of being fed on by a skelt. Even then, Arkwright is still strong enough to swim through it. Right after he leaves, Grimalkin shows up. She's more than happy to hunt down Satan despite being at the sabbath where he was summoned. Given how difficult it was to get all the clans in on it and that even within each clan, there were people against bringing Satan out (hello, Mab), the friction has gotten worse. Grimalkin's willing to fend off the witches coming so Tom can escape.
As Tom's swimming through, he almost gets attacked by a water witch only for Grimalkin to save him. Grimalkin fights off the rest of the witches coming while Tom and crew escape with Deana and head back to Arkwright's mill. The Spook isn't happy with Grimalkin teaming up with them, but Tom decides they should get all the help they can. The Spook just tells him he himself is the only one Tom can trust, even after all Alice has done for both of them so far. If Delaney had given this some more thought, this could build on Tom already questioning his faith in John Gregory after the whole ordeal with Meg. Alas, that never happens. Again, I am not over how casually the treatment of Meg was brushed over like that.
Trouble is at the mill. The water witches and skelts in Arkwright's basement are on the loose, members of the press gang from before have shown up dead around the property, and the coffins of Arkwright's parents are smashed. There's signs Satan has been there. The protections at his mill only work against run of the mill witches, not literal Satan. Tom almost gets killed by the skelt let loose on the property and survives because Arkwright killed it off. It's kind of bad because skelts are rare and Arkwright was keeping it alive to study it further.
No one sleeps peacefully that night. Morwena communicates to them via an apparition of herself and offers to let everyone go alive and send Bill Arkwright's parents to the other side if they give up Tom to be killed. Long after that, Satan himself shows up and freezes time for everyone involved except him and Tom. He makes a bargain with Tom: Head out to fight Morwena to the death, regardless of who lives, and he will send Bill Arkwright's parents to the other side. Tom figures that he's going to die anyway so we might as well get something good out of this whole ordeal.
Tom runs into Grimalkin out in the marsh, and the two of them agree to work together. She reveals how she's kept Satan away from her: She bore him a child, but because their son turned out to be perfectly human instead of a witch or monster, he was killed right after meeting his dad. Grimalkin turned to being the Malkin witch assassin as a result. Her and Alice have been in contact for a month, which is why Grimalkin's up north to begin with. Because she's been able to keep Satan away from her, she would be absolutely useful in the fight against Morwena. Especially with her red eye. Grimalkin also knows the name of Morwena's mother: Grismalde. Grismalde lived in caverns.
The fight with Morwena and the water witches is great. Tom and Grimalkin both get injured during the fight and Tom does get dragged into the water just to be saved by Grimalkin. How they kill Morwena is that Grimalkin offers herself up as bait so the witch's eye is focused on her while Tom uses his chain. Tom manages to keep Morwena bound with the chain long enough for Grimalkin to kill her and remove the heart so she can't come back. Tom falls unconscious after the battle. But before he does, Grimalkin tells him to come back to Pendle over the summer so she can give him a gift. Boys are considered men when they turn 14 in Pendle, so this is Tom's initiation into manhood. She flees not long after.
When he wakes up, he's recovering from a fever and some injuries. The Spook already knows about Alice being in touch with Grimalkin and he wants to put Alice in a pit. Everyone was able to listen on Tom and Satan's conversation despite being physically frozen in time., and that makes the Spook even more pissed. Tom threatens to quit unless he spares Alice, and it's Arkwright who suggests a compromise: Send Alice away and Tom cuts off all contact. Arkwright is quite grateful to Tom for sending his parents to the other side and to Alice for contacting Grimalkin to begin with to help Tom out since Tom would not have survived without Grimalkin. He also points out everyone has their demons and that it isn't fair to judge them for it if they do their best to do good in the world. He thinks Alice deserves a chance.
And this last part makes how little Delaney took advantage of the opportunity to set up Arkwright as a foil to the Spook all the worse. It's hinted here Arkwright, for all his faults, isn't nearly as bad as harsh as the Spook is overall. There's so much setup for all these narratives to happen within the series, and Delaney was excellent as far as setup goes, but the payoff is just not there. It's a lot easier to get a decent payoff if a writer plans the story out in advance.
Alice offers up a blood jar to Tom so he can keep Satan away from him as a parting gift. Tom declines because the Spook is already mad as it is and he still thinks in black and white.
After sending Alice away, the Spook leaves Tom to finish his training with Arkwright. At the end of the six months with Arkwright, the older man tells Tom he's always welcome to come and finish his apprenticeship with him if anything happens. Again, the setup is there, but not the payoff.
On his way back to the Spook, Tom runs into Satan, who reveals that he's Alice's true father and Bony Lizzie is her true mother and Alice took this really badly upon hearing this. So Alice could have used her own blood for the blood jar she offered to Tom.
Back at Chipenden, after Tom and the Spook discuss Satan's revelations, Tom is given a letter from his mother asking him for a favour since the fight against the dark is not going well in Greece. From what we've seen, she's stuck between a rock and a hard place. And this sets up the next book.
Overall thoughts: I like this book. Out of the first five, this one is my favourite. The worldbuilding is excellent, Bill Arkwright offers a lot to the story and to Tom's character development. I did miss having Alice, but Grimalkin entering the picture makes up for it. I liked Tom's interactions with Grimalkin.
An adult novel I read is Gurjinder Basran's The Wedding. It's a series of short stories leading up to the titular wedding about two people who either shouldn't be getting married, or at the very least, should have waited. Each story is told from a different character's POV, and all of them are unreliable narrators. We have to read between the lines to understand the characters as a result, especially when it comes to the bride. I had fun reading it. For non-fiction, I've started reading Anna Politkovskaya. Her books offer so much insight into post-Soviet Russia and the Chechen Wars.
So Joana Payne did some videos on this series and the Starblade Chronicles and she raises some good points, like why would the spooks not use more weapons, for one (remember the need for an axe and shield in book 3?) and the lack of male witches. See, while the majority of witches accused of such were women, about 10 to 15 percent were men. Even in the canon of this series, mages and dowsers like Morgan Hurst and Judd Atkins respectively exist. It's not a stretch to think the Pendle clans could have some dowsers and mages of their own. Yet while mages do make a few more appearances in the series, it's very few, and they tend to be minor overall with the exception of book 13.
And why don't the characters use horses to travel? It's stated they always travel on foot. Horses would make more sense.
I haven't put a hold for book 6 yet, but I have been thinking about the series' misogyny a bit.
In Book 1: Tom is made to stay in a haunted house overnight. The ghost who haunts the house is a man who killed his wife and buried her. The way it's framed, the man stayed around as a ghost because of his guilt and we're supposed to pity him. Then we have the Spook's advice about ignoring girls with pointy shoes. And Mother Malkin, who is stated to be a powerful witch, gets killed off way too easily.
Book 3: The relationship between Meg and the Spook is horrific. We never learn what Meg's sister Marcia did to warrant being put in a pit, and a more feminist writer would've used the horror of what Meg endured to pull back the layers of the Spook. Book 1 could've remained unchanged had the Spook's already blatant misogyny in that one been used as foreshadowing. Tom and the Spook butt heads many times throughout the series, and Tom's guilt about participating in the abuse of Meg could have weighed on him many times throughout the books. Instead, throughout the books, Tom just talks about how bad the Spook feels about Meg being gone. A better writer would've built on Tom already having conflict with the Spook that at first appears to be solvable, but when Tom has to participate in drugging Meg, this is when he starts to really question his faith in the Spook. We already see that with the whole is Morgan the Spook's son or not subplot, but while in the book Tom just takes the Spook's word for granted that Morgan isn't his son, a smarter writer would've had Tom lie and say that he believes the Spook when he says Morgan isn't his son, and then had him run into Morgan's aunt on his mother's side, who would confirm that Morgan isn't the Spook's son. This small change would've improved the book so much.
Then when Meg leaves the Spook, Tom could start wondering why the Spook and Meg didn't end their relationship earlier if it was under so much strain from external forces. Should we go with Tom asking the Spook this and getting an angry answer, then this would be a great opportunity to plant a seed of doubt in Tom's mind. And Tom should come to his own conclusions without Alice pushing him.
But ara-line, you say, why not just remove that particular subplot entirely?
It's a pretty hard subplot to remove. In the UK edition of the books, Book 3 is called The Spook's Secret, with the titular secret being Meg Skelton herself. The setup for Tom to realize the Spook is a monster is there, and if I didn't know better, I would've assumed that was the direction the books were going to go in. It's pretty hard to justify drugging your girlfriend for 20 years.
Book 4: Mistress Wurmalde is stated to be immortal, but she gets killed off very easily and we don't gain a lot of information on her like we do with Mother Malkin, the Bane, and Morgan. Because she is Mother Ward's enemy, it would be good to keep her around for another book. Mab and Alice have conflict over Alice being captured, but Tom also turns out to be a source of conflict between the two, thus failing the Bechdel Test. Well, not exactly, but I feel like a lot of conflict between two female characters tends to involve love triangles. Instead, it could set up Mab and Alice as being at odds over what kind of dark magic they are comfortable using (see: Mab being happy to kill Tom's niece for her blood while Alice refuses to kill unless it is absolutely necessary) as another source of conflict between them. That way, Tom isn't the only source of conflict between them. Another way it could set them up as foils is using the fact Mab was happy to summon Satan into the world because Tom rejected her while Alice wouldn't do that, period. This is another potential source of conflict.
If it sounds like I have a fix it fic in mind, it's because I do and I want closure so the series can have the ending it deserves. Because to be honest here, Delaney planning the series out more heavily wouldn't have solved all of the problems in it. If he had, it would've turned out to be more like My Hero Academia: Misogynistic, but with interesting worldbuilding and a decent plot.
Book 5: Focus more on Grimalkin's code of honour as an assassin instead of her dead son. Motherhood is consistently given to female characters as a redeeming trait, so focusing more on her code of honour and how that influences her is a good subversion of expectations.
And have Bill Arkwright give his take on Meg when it comes to the selkie and her husband. Have the selkie's point of view acknowledged. And maybe have Bill Arkwright go about tackling that whole scenario differently. How he could do it, I don't know, but it should set the Spook and Arkwright up as foils and have even more doubt grow in Tom's mind.
And the doubt grows even stronger when it's Arkwright who is willing to give Alice a chance to be good because he doesn't see himself as a person who should be judging. When Arkwright is the one who points out the good that came from Alice's actions and is willing to acknowledge that for her that sets the seed of doubt even stronger in Tom's mind. The only reason Tom goes back to John Gregory at the end of Book 5 is because his mother specifically wanted him to train under John Gregory over anyone else. But those seeds of doubt should be lingering and carry over into Book 6.
Speaking of Book 6: This is where the series gets bonkers, and not in a good way. But I will tackle that when I get there.
Tom gets attacked by a maenad assassin out for his blood in the Spook's house. The boggart is supposed to protect against this, yet only kills her after Tom binds her. This is unusual for it to do. Something is off. It should have detected her, yet the only reason Tom survives his encounter with her is because Alice used a mirror to warn him.
Maenads are from Greece, are practically wild, and get drunk on wine and blood and go crazy feral while killing. They have zero business being in England. They worship the Ordeen, another God in the realm of Golgoth and the Bane.
As for why the boggart didn't detect the maenad, it's because it's supply of blood was tainted and thus knocked it out.
Should the Ordeen arrive, her and her followers kill everything around for miles. She can pass through a portal at free will and can go back whenever she wants. Her followers include flying lamias, demons, maenads, and so forth.
At this point, Tom is on his third year and is learning about the history of the dark. This is supposed to involve learning about how other countries' spooks deal with their dark creatures, but as Joana Payne herself pointed out, Delaney is really chauvinist on top of the misogyny, so we don't learn a lot about how they work.
And what a fucking disappointment. Worldbuilding is the most interesting part of fantasy for me and to skimp out like that is so disappointing. Bram Stoker was one of Delaney's inspirations and much like Stoker, Delaney didn't plan things out too heavily, which makes this series suffer. Much like Stoker, Delaney may or may not have offended the entire country of Romania, but that is a conversation for *checks notes* Book 9.
Here's some new information we learn about lamias in this book: The first lamia was a witch who fell in love with Zeus and bore him children. Being accurate to the Greek myths, Hera felt scorned and killed all the children born from this union. Thus, the first lamia witch slew children whenever she saw them and was punished by the Gods by having her lower half be turned into that of a serpent. Then she used her womanly charms to lure young men and start killing them. She eventually fell in love with a spider and bore him three children. These three daughters were the first lamia witches and on their thirteenth birthday, they had a fight with their mom that resulted in Mother Lamia being killed and dismembered so her parts would be fed to a boar. This will be important later. This is pretty accurate according to a cursory search about the Greek myths regarding lamia witches. There are some changes, such as Lamia actually being a queen of Libya in many of the sources I found. I've seen many that also state she had detachable eyes as well. I'm just trying to figure out where the spider part came from.
Around the third chapter, the Spook and Tom set off to Jack's farm to visit Mother Ward. Mother Ward has a whole bunch of Pendle witches camping out on Jack's fields, and Jack, who is now fully recovered, is not happy considering what he went through in Book 4 and rightly so. As I've said before, Jack gets put through the wringer.
Jack thinks his mother was replaced by a changeling because of how different she looks compared to before. She actually looks quite a bit younger. Mother Ward wants Tom to come to Greece with her to help deal with the Ordeen. And she'd like the Spook to come as well, though whether or not they get him to is another story entirely. It's not clear what Tom's role in this is yet. She wants to chat with the Spook one on one. When they do, the Spook is pissed and wants no part in any of this. It's funny that a man as abusive towards women as he is is the one judging Mother Ward for making alliances with unsavory characters to achieve a greater good. The Spook is willing to end Tom's apprenticeship over it because he feels that strongly about witches.
And she also confirms that Satan wasn't lying when he said Alice is his daughter, though she can still be good. And she's also horrified about learning of the maenad assassin, especially because she didn't foresee it.
So we get more about the Ordeen: She comes every seven years in Meteora. The monks in Meteora have done their best to bind her, but she's gotten too powerful. Satan being in the picture has made things worse, and now the monks won't be able to contain her to Greece. Mother Ward is an enemy of hers, so Lancashire County is next after she's done with Greece.
After a very tense dinner, Tom heads to bed. Bill Arkwright shows up the next day with Claw and her two pups Blood and Bone. Bill's willing to listen to Mother Ward after being saved by Grimalkin. The way this is set up, one would expect that Tom ends up continuing his apprenticeship with Bill Arkwright after this adventure in Greece. That doesn't happen.
While Mother Ward and Bill Arkwright chat in private, Tom goes out to meet the witches camping and runs into Alice, who was with her aunt Agnes this whole time (unfortunately, Agnes never makes an appearance in this book). Hurray. The two of them have a conversation about the whole mirror thing. Alice and Mother Ward were in contact with each other using the mirror and Alice is upset that Tom isn't grateful for warning her. Rightly so, too. Despite how badly the Spook has treated Alice, Tom is still affectionate toward the Spook. Enough so to feel guilt about being happy to see Alice. I guess that's accurate to what a lot of men are like in real life as far as enabling their abusive friends and family members. But it is frustrating as a reader because it feels like Tom isn't getting a lot of character development beyond that. There are so many opportunities for character development yet so many are gone to waste.
Tom brings up the whole child of Satan thing and Alice points out she didn't even know until he had come and told her the night before she was sent away by the Spook. As for the Pendle witches, there's 25 of them and they know they fucked up bringing Satan back, so they've decided to rectify that. Mab Mouldheel and her sisters are amongst them. Checks out, considering that Mab was already reluctant to bring Satan out into the world.
Grimalkin is also there, ready to give Tom her gift with the full blessing of Mother Ward. Tom has already decided at this point that he'll do whatever his mother asks of him because of how close the two of them are. The gift is a dagger Tom can wear over his shoulder. One that is pretty useful as a spook when we really think about it. This goes back to what Joana Payne was saying about the lack of diversification of weapons within this particular universe.
There's also another gift Grimalkin has for Tom: A dark wish. He can use it for whatever he wants whenever he does. It is incredibly hard to produce to begin with since it takes years and a huge store of magic. It can only be used in the direst of circumstances as a result.
Arkwright is fully on board with coming to Greece, with his only concern being the north of the county left unattended. He's also willing to take Tom back under his wing if Gregory doesn't.
Despite putting Jack and Ellie through the wringer, Mother Ward says the Pendle witches are the only ones brave enough to deal with the Ordeen. This begs the question of how effective the Greek spooks and witches are. We never learn a lot about them. To be honest, all I have in the back of mind is how cool a supplementary book about Mother Ward's adventures in Greece would be with my own version of Book 6 bringing back Wurmalde, Agnes, and Mab. Imagine how much better that would've been.
Tom and his mother do have conflict over the use of the witches and the gifts Grimalkin has given, but it gets resolved fairly quickly with Tom realizing how big the threat is but still feeling uneasy.
The following day, Tom catches up with Alice and Mab. He still feels uneasy around Alice, and we learn Mab foretold the maenad arriving and sent word to Alice. She's also foretold Alice dying.
They take off for Greece not long after. John Gregory ends up joining along anyway. The ship is pretty cramped and the witches aren't handling their seasickness well. There's not too much written about the journey, which is fine. We do know that the sailors of the ship don't like the witches, and Tom continues training with Bill Arkwright (Yay!) and with the Spook as well after he comes around (Boo!). They pass by Gibraltar and discuss the Pillars of Herakles. We also get more about the Ordeen: While she comes every seven years, it's not exact and usually varies a bit. When she does come, the signs will be birds and refugees fleeing. Her portal is a pillar of fire under dark storm clouds. Rain comes afterwards and that's when they can go through. They have only three days and three hours to deal with the Ordeen.
On the way they end up running into a pirate ship. Obviously, the good guys win. The witches are the ones doing the butt kicking, and help themselves to pirate blood after they are done. Alice is the exception.
They also run into sirens when they're near the Greek mainland. They survive because Mother Ward puts wax in the captain's ears. Again, fairly accurate to the myths. The thing is is that sirens shouldn't be in this particular area, so the fact that they are is a massive red flag.
Once Tom and crew reach the mainland, they meet up with Greek spooks. Mother Ward takes Tom to her house in Greece, which is still her property. Over there, she reveals that she is the OG lamia. You know, the one I mentioned earlier. History being passed down orally meant that we'd end up with unreliable narrators.
I hate this twist. Tom's mother being a lamia witch did at least have build up, and Alice actually being Bony Lizzie's daughter also had build up as well. But Tom being the child of a God makes no sense. Why would a God breed with Sailor Jakey from England just to make a seventh son who could fight the literal devil when there are lots of supernatural creatures that could do the trick? Tom's mother just being a regular run of the mill lamia witch who is exceptionally powerful makes far more sense than this shit. I know someone on reddit is doing a rewrite of the series, and they mentioned this is one of those things they would change. I agree. Especially because Delaney doesn't do nearly as much with this as he could have.
The next day, Alice figures out something's up with Tom, but he doesn't open up yet. Mab enjoys watching their misery. All I can think about is how much of a wasted opportunity Mab is. The entourage sets off to Kalambaka, and the plan is to send thirteen of them to make some offerings to the Ordeen. Usually, the town of Kalambaka offers up the thirteen, but things are different this time. Tom is going to be among the thirteen. That is what is known at this time.
The chauvinism shows: The English complain about the cheese they eat. It's annoying. And we learn nothing about the Greek spooks.
And Meg does get brought up. All we hear about is how sad the Spook is that she now lives away from humans and is probably reverting back to her feral form and that he'd like to see her but unfortunately she isn't the drugged up Meg he kept in his winter house for who knows how many years. Again, the misogyny in how Meg is treated is horrific. And there are other ways the Spook acts like an asshole, especially in regards to how he treats Alice. How the narrative wants us to see the Spook and how he acts in the texts are at odds with each other.
The journey to Kalambaka takes a few days. We do learn a little about the Greek spooks. While English ones fast before going out on a mission, Greek spooks make sure they are full. We know that they also marry and raise families, which suggests that they aren't socially ostracized the way English spooks are. Unfortunately, there's more chauvinism here instead of a deeper examination of the differences. Again, a supplementary book detailing Mother Ward's adventures in Greece would have been a great opportunity to build on this.
Maenads attack the camp while they're sleeping. Alice keeps Tom from participating in the defense because his mother asked her to protect him. He's a big part of defeating the Ordeen. The maenads catch up with them anyway and they fight them off successfully. On the way to catch up with the rest of their entourage, Tom and Alice get attacked by lamia witches and Alice gets dragged away by one. So Tom uses his dark wish to save her and runs into Satan. Satan tells Tom his mother is ready to sacrifice him to stop the Ordeen and that he's been fucking up her foresight and that of the Pendle witches.
Tom and Alice reunite and join the rest of the survivors at Meteora. They also run into a group of warriors. Meteora has these monasteries situated high on rocks. I've seen photos and they look incredible.
Alice offers up the blood jar again with her blood, and she says there's another caveat: They'd have to remain near each other at all times or Satan takes Alice with him to hell. This is important.
When they catch up at last, we learn those warriors are mercenaries his mother hired to help out. They make a visit to one of the monasteries, and here I'm like, finally, we get something Greek in this. It's not a long scene. It's just Mother Ward telling the head monk that she wants some of the usual delegation replaced with Tom and some others.
There is a blood ritual involved with entering. The Ordeen demands the blood of the youngest member of the delegation, and in this case it's a cup of Tom's blood. Tom's blood is the blood of the OG lamia and a seventh son of a seventh son, so it will weaken the Ordeen severely. They only have to give a cup of Tom's blood if a fighter from the delegation wins against one of the Ordeen's servants. This fighter will be Grimalkin. If she loses, all thirteen members die. And so does the rest of the world. The mercenaries will come and attack after the delegation's fighter wins, while the rest of them will head deeper in and find the Ordeen. There's also supposed to be a table of food at the entrance but no one can eat it. This is important.
Mab has also figured out that Tom used some dark wish to save Alice because she's that good at knowing the future. Bill Arkwright has premonitions of death and asks Tom to look after his dogs if anything happens to him. Meanwhile Tom is straight up scared shitless.
They head toward the pillar of fire not long after, and when the time comes, the thirteen enter the Ord. Grimalkin wins the fight against the Ordeen's fighter (hell yeah). Meanwhile the Greek spooks are munching down the food in the Ord (BOO!). And the attack is ready to start. Bill, the Spook, Tom and Alice make a dangerous journey to the Ordeen herself. Just when they're about to reach the Ordeen herself, the four of them get separated and Tom ends up in the clutches of Satan. Satan shows him the future and it involves the Ordeen destroying everything. If Tom sells his soul to him, Satan will give the good guys a chance to defeat the Ordeen and come for Tom's soul in three days. There's no limitations on him this time. Satan will also show Tom where the Ordeen is so they can kill her.
Everyone reunites, and Tom directs them to the Ordeen's location now that he's sold his soul to Satan. Tom has to go through to the final boss because his blood is in the Ordeen's veins, as well as that of his mother's. He runs into Mab, who already figured out the location through her mirror, making Tom selling his soul for nothing. If that plot point where to stay, at least make it pay off. Then again, it wouldn't exist with a book with Wurmalde coming back.
Mab sends Tom to his mother, who is transforming into her final Lamia God shape. Mother Ward is going to die along with the Ordeen, but she wants Tom to buy her time before that happens and she wants him to kill Satan.
So Tom and Mab head to the Ordeen's sleeping place. When she awakens, Tom tries to buy time, but the God figures out who he and his mother are fairly quick. So Tom uses his ability to slow time against her and wraps his silver chain around her. He also uses the rowan wood staff against her. She transforms into her final form: A salamander.
So Tom uses the blade Grimalkin gave him. The dark wish was also for this purpose, but he used it on Alice. The blade, in combination with his time slowing ability, works effectively and buys Mother Ward plenty of time. When she does come, she tells Tom to leave now.
So everyone flees the Ord. On the way out, they run into some baddies and Bill Arkwright stays behind to fight them and never makes it out (BOOOOOO!). After Tom, the Spook, and Alice are out safely with all the survivors, the trio head to the monastery and inform the head monk that they won. The head monk does comfort Tom and it's hinted that he knows a lot about her, but nothing is done with this.
Tom does get some closure in the form of a letter his mother wrote for him after her death. We also learn Mother Ward gave the Spook a letter that convinced him to join in on the expedition. She also asked him to give Alice a second chance.
When the time comes for Tom to meet his maker, Alice happens to be following right after and already has a blood jar ready to go to protect Tom. Honestly, slay girl. And Tom acted pretty ungrateful to her whenever she brought the jar up. He's still at risk of his soul going there anyway when he dies, so they now have to kill Satan to prevent that from happening.
Bill Arkwright's dogs join the trio as they head back to England. Arkwright is dead (BOOOOOOO!!!!). Tom dreams of his mother on the way back and she tells him it's going to be OK and she knows that he sold his soul to Satan. So he gets more closure from her.
When they get back home and Tom breaks the news of his mother's death to his brothers, Jack takes hearing it very badly. James just kind of knew. It doesn't help that Alice is there. Ellie is also kind of cold to Tom. I find showing how much Tom's apprenticeship as a spook put his family members through the wringer offers an adult perspective one would not see in children's books aimed toward 9-12 year olds, which this series was marketed towards. And neither of these three know that Mother Ward had this planned from the get-go without considering the impact it would have on her other sons. That's what it looks like to me, at least.
And thus life continues on.
FINAL THOUGHTS:
Can you tell I didn't really enjoy this one?
It raises more questions than it answers. And it doesn't answer some of the questions already raised in book 4, which is what it should have done. What was the relationship between Mother Ward and the head monk? How did her and the Ordeen become enemies? How does Mistress Wurmalde fit into this? That's what should have been answered. How did Wurmalde chain a God? How did Mother Ward accomplish the things she did prior to bringing Tom over to Greece in preparation for the Ordeen?
And I know I've talked about this a lot, but the English chauvinism and the missed opportunities to world build piss me off. What are societal attitudes towards spooks in Greece? Clearly, since the most important Greek spook has a wife and children, they aren't looked at the same way as they are in England. They also eat before missions, compared to English spooks, who fast. What weapons do they use against the dark? And how do the monks in Greece fit into this equation?
I don't like the selling his soul to the Devil plot point either. It's contrived. And there's not a lot done with the whole war in England subplot thingy being brought up either.
And Delaney killed off Arkwright and Mother Ward. While I agree character death is necessary, there are some characters who ended up being underutilized. Arkwright is one, and so is Mother Ward. When did she start planning to have seven sons with a seventh son so she could raise a spook? Since she's a God, what name did she use as cover? Book 5 sets Arkwright up to be super important only to kill him off in the following book. It seemed like the series was going in the direction that Tom would finish his apprenticeship under Bill Arkwright, who does have conflict with Tom, yes, but also is more openminded about how to defeat the dark compared to John Gregory. If a spook had to be killed off, it should have been John Gregory. I've seen a review of these books state that John Gregory should have been killed off sooner, and I would link it if I knew where it was. I know it exists, I have a hard time finding it. Narratively, that would've made more sense. John Gregory is very black and white compared to Bill Arkwright, and killing him off would have represented a shift away from black and white thinking. Bill Arkwright is also less abusive compared to Gregory, and Tom should already have complicated feelings towards the Spook for being so uncompromising despite also being a hypocrite who is just as bad as the witches he hunts himself. Alice shouldn't be the only reason for his complicated feelings. Meg needs to factor into this as well.
If I had to write a Book 6 for this series, I would have Mistress Wurmalde return and be behind the maenad assassin. Tom, Alice, and the Spook are back in Pendle to get the trunks from Malkin Tower and they run into Mab along the way. Mab says Wurmalde is back and offers to help them get her because she's remorseful about bringing Satan into the world. The trio refuses. I'm still figuring out the rest of the details, but eventually Tom and Alice realize they won't be able to deal with Wurmalde without Mab, so they reluctantly enlist her help. Agnes also gets a role to play in this as well.
There should be a subplot where Mother Ward comes back and we learn what her beef with Wurmalde is. This subplot should expand more on her backstory and show how her actions in making a spook out of Tom affects her relationship with her other ones. I'm thinking Jack, Ellie and James should be in the know about Mother Ward being a witch at the end of it, and Ellie and Jack's relationship with her changes. James reads like his relationship with Mother Ward wouldn't really be affected by her being a witch. And she's not going to be a God in this version. She'll just be a very powerful run of the mill lamia witch. And we get some more background on Father Ward and how he came to figure out Mother Ward was a witch.
As for the supplementary material regarding Greece, expand more on the Greek spooks and the lamia witches. Expand upon the dark creatures of Greece and how they are fought against. All of that would be super interesting in its own right.
There are some books I'm interested in reading lately. The Luminaries by Eleanor Catton is one. I want to read A Minor Chorus by Billy-Ray Belcourt and Flesh by David Szalay. I've heard a lot of good things about the latter. Whenever I go to the library there are so many books that look interesting and I really want to read all of them. My mom really likes CS Richardson's All the Colour in the World. I quite liked that one and I would love to reread it.
All of this is to say Book 6 and 7 have not been enjoyable.
When Tom, Alice and the Spook return back, the Spook's house has been burned down. The invading soldiers mentioned before have made it up to Lancashire, and they overwhelmed the boggart. So now that creature is gone, and there's only one surviving book. Why wouldn't the Spook put the copies Alice made in a safe space? Why not take them to Anglezarke?
Also, the witches in the garden have fled. Now you would think that they would hunt those witches down and kill them because there's war and the last thing we need is a bunch of witches who brutally murder people on the loose. Nope. They decide to head to Bill Arkwright's mill. I guess this isn't a bad idea, but it is established that there are still civilians in the area, so why not get rid of at least one of the dangers that faces them?
Side note: Delaney's tendency to load the reader with redundant information is annoying.
They never end up reaching the mill and join a bunch of people fleeing to head to the Isle of Man, a four or five hour trip from Lancashire County. It's referred to as the Isle of Mona here. They don't have spooks over there, and they have something called bugganes. This is a demon that hangs around ruins, usually manifests itself as a black bull or hairy man but can take other forms too. It can communicate inside people's heads, and this is a sign it will kill them within days. To avoid that, it has to be killed first, and only directly through the heart. Immune to salt and iron. Can only be killed when fully materialized.
Honestly, this creature sounds pretty cool.
They don't get a warm welcome when they get there, and Alice is just thinking they should've gone to Ireland (spoiler alert: They eventually do). Meanwhile, we learn the Manx have their own ways of testing for witches. Already, we've got some more worldbuilding, the most important component of fantasy, here than we did with Book 6. And the worst part is Book 6 is based in Greece, so there is no excuses for the piss poor worldbuilding as far as the Greek spooks go.
So the Spook gets into a fight with a yeoman on the Isle, and the three of them have to go into hiding for the time being until they can get to Ireland. The Spook has noticed how close Tom and Alice are being, and he's trying to keep them apart. The Dynamic Duo still try to figure out a way around it. Tom gets sent to town to find a ship to Ireland. Alice quietly tags along.
So they end up in a tavern and run into the captain of Mother Ward's ship in that last book. Turns out all the ships carrying Lancashire's refugees have been seized by the local authorities, so they are shit out of luck. While they are in this tavern, the local authorities show up with an abhuman creature called Horn. Abhumans can only be offspring of Satan and a witch, so this is interesting. Horn has the ability to detect if someone has darkness or evil in them, and naturally he detects that in Alice and Tom. Again, stuff like this should have ended up in that Greece book.
Side note: I googled up the Isle of Man and holy shit there's so much interesting history to it. None of the positives of Manx history made it in. This ties back to the chauvinism Joana Payne was discussing. There are currently efforts to revive the Manx language like there are with Scots, Gaelige, Cornish, etc. In the 1600s, much of the Isle of Man would have been native speakers of Manx, whereas nowadays 2% of the population there speaks the language as their second one. Again, there are attempts to revive it undergoing.
So the two of them get taken in. They meet a bird witch at the prison named Adriana, and she tells them that witches are tested by being put into a barrel with spikes and rolled down a hill. There is a way to survive, but surviving means getting fed to a buggane at Greeba Keep. Usually, there are large crowds coming to watch the rolling, so the three of them are going to be tested at the crack of dawn.
Horn also comes in to chat with Alice for a bit. Since abhumans are children of Satan, he sees Alice as his sister and is pretty cordial with her. Alice does not reciprocate. Again, this is a really good opportunity to do some interesting stuff with abhumans.
All three survive. Alice does it by faking her death and then uses that to ambush the yeomen. This helps both Tom and Alice escape, but Adriana is not so lucky. Tom still has a stick up his ass about Alice using dark magic. I do not like how little character development Tom goes through in these books. At this point, there should be some payoff for the setup in the earlier books for dark magic users not being all bad and Tom realizing the Spook is kind of a piece of shit. Honestly, if I were adapting these books, I don't think much would have to be changed about the Spook in order to portray him as abusive.
So anyway, Tom and Alice find the Spook, the captain, and Adriana's boyfriend, Simon. The big reason Adriana was even pulled into custody to begin with is because she resembles the powerful leader of the Isle's dead wife and he wants to marry her. Adriana is not on board, so like all entitled men, the leader, Lord Barrule, has decided he'll just kill her instead. Meanwhile, her boyfriend is in complete shambles over it. I will say it is interesting to see Jakey in the role of the overwhelmed wife. He is in denial about his girlfriend being a witch, though.
The Spook, Tom and Alice make a plan to head to Greeba Keep and try to deal with the buggane sooner rather than later. After some redundant information about the buggane, we learn that it digs tunnels, and those tunnels can shift. This makes killing one in the tunnels dangerous, so it has to be killed above ground. It sucks the victim's life force, the animus, out, leaving the body a husk. A buggane can also make an alliance with a shaman, which means now we're getting somewhere interesting. Again, Pendle witch clans would have shamans with them.
We learn from Simon that Horn the abhuman came to the island with a witch, his mother. She was killed, but Lord Barrule kept Horn around to have him sniff out witches. Lord Barrule is a gambler and bets on dog fights with his rich friends.
We also learn about some of Tom's adventures with Arkwright, which never made it into that fifth book. Again, John Gregory should have been killed off and Tom should have continued on with Arkwright.
So that night, the trio go to Greeba Keep and sure enough, they find the buggane with a shaman. The shaman figures out they're there and disappears under moonlight, while the buggane prepares to attack. And the Spook is the first to approach it to begin attacking. Eventually, Tom does manage to injure it, but Alice and the dogs go missing during the attack. So Alice is now out of the protection of the blood jar. But we later on learn she's actually safe, but I won't reveal how just yet.
So after this, Simon decides to try making an appeal to the Tynwald, the ruling body of Mann. This is a real thing, by the way. He decides they might be able to influence Barrule into releasing Adriana since they are the ones who select the leader of the island. And I will give Jakey credit here: He's so far better than the other Jakeys in this series, but that is not a high bar.
So Tom and the Spook decide to try confronting the buggane again, but Tom gets captured by the yeomen. After a beating and being put into a cell with a tunnel for the buggane, Tom is forced to watch a bunch of dog fights at dawn, and people gamble on the fights. He figures out Barrule is the shaman. He controls the dogs.
After Tom is taken back into the cell, Barrule projects an image of himself into the cell and taunts Tom. He offers a fight to the death with Bony Lizzie in exchange for Tom and his dogs would be spared. So the next day, Tom is taken to fight Lizzie and we find out Alice was caught with her. Remember, Satan can't approach a woman who bore his child unless she compels him too. So that's why Alice is safe. Both her and Lizzie's lips are stitched together so they can't cast spells. This doesn't stop Lizzie from using telepathy to communicate with Tom into working with her so all three are free. The fight ends with Tom binding her with a silver chain and Alice undoing the binding on her so she can cast spells. Lizzie takes over with one spell and Tom decides to release her because she is his best chance at escaping.
Through the tunnels, Tom, Lizzie and Alice escape and end up in a tree trunk safe from the buggane. The tree is in the eye of a bone yard, which is an area a witch creates that causes the bones of any creature who enters it to grow heavy. If someone is too close to the centre, they are dead. But at the center is safe. There is a path a witch has in order to get out safely.
Lizzie is misandrist, as we learn from the conversation she, Tom, and Alice have. She just turned 40, and a witch enters her prime at 40 years old. So she is more powerful than ever. Lizzie has plans for Tom, so he needs to be kept alive for that. For Alice, she wants her to unite the Pendle clans and take over the world.
The buggane finds them, and Lizzie makes it her familiar. When Barrule projects himself into the tree, Lizzie uses this against him to get her and Alice off of the island and straight to Ireland while Barrule gets Tom and can pit him against Claw, Blood and Bone.
So back in the fighting chamber, Tom is up against Bill's dogs. Bill's ghost comes to save him and orders the dogs to kill Barrule. God I hate that Arkwright was killed off. He's more compelling than the Spook imo.
Turns out Bill's ghost is in Lizzie's control, and she never intended to head to Ireland anyway. She wants the shaman's power, which checks out, and she wants access to his library so she can learn more about it. Also checks out. So she takes the shaman's thumb bones to gain his power and decides she wants to be queen of the island.
What. The. Helly.
I don't understand this writing decision at all. It makes zero sense.
So they head to Barrule's castle, and the Spook has been brought there by the yeomen. All hell broke loose after the shaman was killed. Tom heads out to warn the Spook and fill him in, but Gregory decides to confront Lizzie and fails because he's old. Lizzie wants to torture him for putting her in a pit so I at least get why she keeps him alive. Tom, I don't know. Turns out she has more plans. She wants Tom to act as an intermediary to the yeomen. The yeomen have 10 minutes to select a seneschal, and for every five minutes over, one dies. After 20 minutes and two deaths, the captain, Stanton, is chosen as the seneschal. Stanton plans to kill Lizzie, but she already has him figured out.
Lizzie wants to throw a feast in her honour, and a whole lot of powerful people are invited. Some are coming, either to assess the danger level Lizzie poses or to use her as a means to power.
Look, I am well aware that I am not the target audience for these books. But I think someone within the target audience is smart enough to figure out that this is bullshit. Thirteen year old me was pissed at that ending for Book 13 for a reason.
So Lizzie is planning to release all the prisoners in Greeba Keep except for the Spook. But she's not going to kill Tom yet. When Alice catches up with Tom, we learn that Lizzie is keeping him alive because Alice begged her to and because she has some more plans for him.
Tom also gets the chance to tell Stanton how to kill a witch. And here comes a passage that pissed me off.
I think a child within the target audience is smart enough to understand why this is bullshit. And Tom should not be acting like this by Book 7. It at least made sense in Book 1, when he was 12 and completely inexperienced in the world of spooks. And he's talking to a commander of soldiers. I'm pretty sure Tom is 15 at this point and has been involved in some nasty shit.
And I just realized I have shown my handwriting to the few people who care about me typing this up. Whatever. And I have to be honest here, my sister was asking me if these books were any good. I told her the first five hold up, but the ending of Book 13 is bad. She's 14 year old, so a bit older than the target audience for these books. I have a feeling she'd be even more pissed off about everything that's gone down more than I am, and I know this because of the commentary she makes while we watch movies together.
At the feast, it's mostly men, but there's a few couples. Adriana and other prisoners are also there. One man, a member of the parliament, starts protesting Lizzie at the feast and she kills him right there on the spot and leaves his wife in shock. Adriana is pretty pissed at this and gets taken away by a guard. That guy was her dad, which begs the question: If Adriana's dad is a member of the Tynwald, aka the same group that appointed Barrule to lead the island, then why didn't he use his power to get her out of prison or kick Barrule out of his position for creeping after his daughter? This question is never answered.
A whole bunch of commotion happens, Tom and Alice slip away to get the Spook while Lizzie is giving orders to Stanton. I don't know why Lizzie doesn't just kill Tom off then. After the whole Barrule thing, there are multiple opportunities Lizzie gets to kill Tom but she never uses. I guess it's plot armour but it would be nice to have an explanation. They decide to grab some weapons and the shaman's notebook as well so Lizzie can't use it. In the dungeons, they find Adriana first and get the Spook as well. They get out through the tunnels. While they are trying to find Lizzie's tree in the eye of the bone yard so Alice can sniff out a safe pathway through it, they run into Horn, who leads them to the Grim Cache, a mega cache of life energy taken by the buggane and many others of its kind. It was created by a mage called Lucius Grim. The apparitions of seven Romanian witches are also hanging around there.
Horn explains that the shaman got his power from the life force. Right now, Horn controls the buggane, but Lizzie will have control over it soon. And she hasn't caught on to the cache yet, but when she does, it's game over for everyone. So he advises them to act as quickly as possible before shit hits the fan.
After the quartet leaves, they head to Adriana's house where her mom and Simon live. Adriana is pretty well off and has lots of servants. They stay for two days instead of making plans to act or delay Lizzie from being able to act. One of Stanton's yeomen finds them and gives them his plans. While everyone else was resting or whatever, Lizzie's been conducting raiding parties and killing people for their blood and bones. So Stanton's managed to rally a bunch of people up plus some Tynwald members to go after Lizzie. There is a meeting coming up for the Tynwald at night, so Stanton and his men are planning to strike then.
At dawn, everyone heads out to strike. Lizzie uses dread on everyone, including her own defenders, and scares a lot of people away. Tom and the Spook get close enough to try and kill Lizzie, but fail. Alice saves both of them. She creates the perfect opportunity for Tom to kill Lizzie by binding her, but he doesn't use it then. Tom has not gone through a lot of character development in these books. Bear in mind they are aimed at a slightly older age group than Harry Potter, so I don't expect it to be adult adult, but I expect some more maturity given that. And the first five books pointed to them having that only for Delaney to make a bunch of bad writing decisions.
So now Lizzie is on the loose again, has dissolved the Tynwald and declared herself queen of the island, and Adriana points the Spook, Tom and Alice to a place to hide. Alice tries to glean some info from the shaman's notebook (shouldn't she have done that during the two days she was at Adriana's cottage?) while Tom tries to sleep but has a nightmare. He's being chased by a witch with a crow head. When he was with Arkwright, they had a run in with a Celtic witch, who warned him to never go to Ireland because the Morrigan, a Celtic crow goddess, would kill him there. If you're wondering if I forgot to include that in Book 5, it turns out Joseph Delaney did as well. They do go to Ireland in the next book and I do remember liking that one because of how much of a turning point it is in the series.
So they stay at the cottage for a week (seriously?) and leave when Adriana sends a messenger pigeon. Her mom has died since the whole Lizzie's feast fiasco went down. All around the island, the rumour mill is chugging, and there's stories of the Romanian witch apparitions showing up (we do come back to them in another book), creatures that shouldn't be there showing up, livestock turning up dead. Lizzie has almost certainly accessed the cache and its power.
At night, Tom, Alice, Adriana, and Simon decide to find Lizzie and deal with her for good. The Spook got drugged by Adriana to fall asleep (justice for Meg). Adriana summons a bunch of birds to throw Lizzie's guards off while Tom and Alice sneak in. They head to the shaman's library so they can get more info. While Alice is going through the shaman's books, Tom is looking for Lizzie and gets caught by her and thrown into the dungeons.
He ends up with Horn and Stanton's dead body. Horn hates Stanton, hates Satan, and hates his witch mother and would like an exit out. A decent abhuman who hates his father, Satan. Surely Delaney would utilize a character like this to its full potential (Spoiler alert: No). Lizzie comes by for a visit, steals Stanton's thumb bones, and decides to leave Tom and Horn for the buggane. I don't know why she doesn't just kill Tom at this point.
The buggane comes for Tom, and subjects him to all these horrible moments, such as Tom's mother being chained to the rock by Wurmalde, Jack and his family being attacked by the Pendle witches, Tom's mom fighting the Ordeen. Then it comes back to Mother Malkin on his family's farm, and he hears Alice's voice, takes charge and kills Mother Malkin with the fire himself. And this is how he survives the buggane.
Despite being really weak after surviving the buggane, Tom convinces Horn to free the both of them and they escape only to end up in Lizzie's throne room. Lizzie kills Horn (BOOOOOOO!!!!!) and is about to kill Tom when Alice's apparition appears and talks Lizzie into bringing Tom into the fight room.
In the fight room, Lizzie is forced to hand over the shaman's thumb bones to Alice, and she flees in horror at losing her pride. As for why Alice was safe from Satan, turns out the cache protected her.
So they head back to Adriana and Simon, and the Spook is there too and not happy. Tom fills him in, and the Spook decides they're going to deal with the buggane first (WHY?????).
So they head to the ruins, only to be confronted by a hydra there. It's actually the buggane and they kill it after Alice saves Tom yet again. (What has Jakey done to deserve this?)
They rejoin Adriana and Simon, and after the Spook fails to track Lizzie, Adriana uses birds to track her and finds her really easily. She's at a cliff, however, there are traps for them along the way. At the cliffside, Lizzie casts a spell to make everyone throw themselves off the cliff. Simon succumbs to it and Adriana gets her revenge by ordering birds to to kill Lizzie. Lizzie fights them off and reveals Tom sold his soul to the Devil. She also kills Adriana (seriously?), but Adriana orders more birds to kill Lizzie and Lizzie dies.
After that, Tom spills the tea and after mulling over it for a while, the Spook orders Alice to contact Grimalkin. Grimalkin once told her she thinks Satan could be bound with spears in a pit so they'll try their luck there.
And they plan to head to Ireland after.
Final thoughts:
Can you tell this pissed me off? Not only from having two characters that should have never been killed off so soon after they were introduced, but also the whole ghost of Arkwright thing. And all the deus ex machina saving Tom. Not to mention, the Isle of Man has a really interesting history and some of that could've been worked into this book. Yet more of the English chauvinism showing up.
Anyway, I am brainstorming a fanfic rewrite of Book 6 where Mistress Wurmalde comes back. I'm thinking that it will start out the same way as Book 6 did with the maenad attacking Tom and Alice warning him via mirror. Afterwards, Tom goes back to visit his family and his mom is there. The topic of Wurmalde comes up, and this is where some tea starts to get spilled. I haven't decided what it's going to be yet. After staying a few days, Tom heads back to the Spook only for him to be missing and the boggart incapacitated. He runs into Alice and Mab shortly after and they tell him Wurmalde is back with a vengeance. She is likely to be the one behind kidnapping the Spook. So then Tom, Mab and Alice head to Pendle and stay over at Aunt Agnes' house to figure out what's going on. I haven't figured out where to go after this. All I know is that it should end with the Spook and Wurmalde being killed, plus Tom and Alice being closer and Mab and Agnes becoming important allies. And we should get some hints on how to deal with Satan.
I'm also thinking about a subplot where we deal with Mother Ward's parenting and how it affected her other sons and a bit of reckoning about that. None of the OG Lamia nonsense. She's just a run of the mill lamia witch here. I haven't figured out how to incorporate this in yet. I came up with all of this at 3 am in the morning. I'll probably get my next burst of inspiration afterwards in the same circumstances.
I remember liking Book 8 when I got into this series. Let's see if it still holds up.
And I am on break from school, so there is that. Last semester nearly killed me.
Alice, Tom and the Spook are travelling to Dublin, Ireland. There's almost no spooks there and a lot of supernatural stuff, so there's plenty of work to be found in Ireland. On the way to Ireland, a storm occurs and Tom sees a pair of eyes in the storm, one blue and one green. While he was training with Bill Arkwright, they ran into a Celtic witch and Tom killed her and she swore beforehand that the Morrigan would get revenge on him if he ever stepped foot on Ireland. That tale is in a companian book of short stories by the way.
Many places in Dublin have jibbers, which is an apparition left behind a week after a person commits suicide. Jibbers are a new thing here. They make knocking noises and drive people insane with it. One happens to be a hotel, so the Spook, Tom and Alice are asked to deal with it in exchange for a place to stay. The person who killed herself was a maid rejected by a wealthy man.
They deal with the jibber at dawn, but while Tom is asleep, he has a dream about being chased by a crow and running to a church. A witch with a crow head transforms into the Celtic witch Tom killed. After they discuss the jibber and what it might actually be, they head up to where the girl killed herself to deal with the jibber.
Alice saves the day yet again by using dark magic. The salt and iron doesn't work all that well. Tom hears the Old Tongue from the jibber and Alice chooses to use the Old Tongue to deal with the jibber. It seems that there is a spell causing the jibbers to exist and binds the ghost to it. This makes the ghost of the maid visible and she's talked into a happy memory so she could fully cross over to the other side. The Spook does not approve of dark magic, as to be expected. But Tom does defend Alice this time. He should've started to defend her around Book Four or Five, but better late than never, I guess.
Side note: I'm listening to the audio book and the redundant information is annoying.
So after the Spook decides to accept it, Tom and Alice go about dealing with the jibbers themselves and earn some money for it. The Spook refuses to come along because he's old and also because of Alice's use of dark magic. And the blood jar has a bad crack in it and they are in danger.
During one excursion with a jibber, Tom sees an apparition of the witch with one green eye and one blue. She taunts him and brags about the storm at the beginning. And she's also responsible for the jibbers. The Spook also gets let in the know about it.
After about a week in the hotel, a wealthy man named Farrell Shey comes and asks for the trio's help. There's a bunch of mages planning sacrifices to summon the Old God Pan, and it's going to occur during a festival. They've gotten desperate enough to attempt doing it twice a year instead of the usual once. The Old God being summoned means bad news, so they need to be dealt with. Landowners like Shey have been at war with the mages for a while, and it needs to come to an end. Shey believes he can help the trio with spook work.
So Tom, Alice and the Spook head to Shey's house in a carriage. Shey has every reason to believe that they are being followed.
On the way, they stop to sleep and Tom has another dream about with the witch. He's inside the burial mound where they'd fought and in the dream, recreates the moment she was killed. He initially used his silver chain on her, but the two of them ended up trapped in a burial mound and her mouth was covered, so Tom uncovered her mouth to get both of them out. A black cloud comes out of her mouth and turns into a crow. This is the goddess Morrigan (and I will touch upon this later on). He fights against her enough to drive her away. The witch he was fighting with warns him not to visit Ireland after the fight. He agreed to let the witch go free in exchange for getting both of them out of the burial mound. Bill Arkwright killed her as soon as both were out.
When he wakes up, he knows that there is a chance the Morrigan could come for him. He hears the Fiend's footsteps too, which means he and Alice are screwed. Once he confirms it's Satan, he awakens Alice and the Spook. The crack in the jar is pretty bad. Alice says the blood jar's power is sapping, so she has no choice but to reach out to Grimalkin. It's a massive struggle considering the situation in Lancashire.
The next day, they set off and reach Shey's house. They learn about Irish heroes like Cuchallain and the hero's sword. Tom also learns that church he's running to in his dream isn't a church but a sidhe, a haven for heroes.
And all I can think about is how much of a lost opportunity it was to not have an Irish spook be featured. At least Book 6 had that, for all its many faults.
We also learn that the burial mounds are gateways to other worlds called the Hollow Worlds. Celtic witches draw their power from that. The mages are hoping to summon Pan to access weapons from the other world as well as magic.
That night, Alice attempts to contact Grimalkin while Tom eavesdrops. She finally succeeds and Tom leaves not long after so Alice can tell him herself.
When morning comes, Alice awakens Tom but doesn't tell Tom about what she and Grimalkin are talking about. He manages to get them alone after breakfast and you would think he would take his staff with him since danger could come from anywhere, but nope.
As it turns out Grimalkin is being hunted down for killing a bunch of enemy soldiers and is going to have a hard time getting to Ireland, but she is coming. And she knows from a scryer that Tom is at risk of being killed by a Celtic witch. It's likely that the Morrigan is taking on the witch's form to scare Tom.
When the pair returns back to the Spook, Tom gets chewed out for being off in the clouds instead of getting involved in planning out how to deal with the mages. I have to give this one to the Spook. The plan is to capture a goat mage to learn what exactly happens in the ceremony and reach the place the festival takes place without the mages' spies catching them. They have armed men with them for protection.
Even though there's days to come until the festival, a lot of people are already at the grounds. They pick an inn the mages are unlikely to pick and one that is near the town center, where the sacrifices happens. Shey's armed men have spotted some of the mages approaching.
The mages reach by dawn and start working on their sacrifice towers. The plan is to capture a mage by evening and burn the tower to set them back a bit. Alice just wonders what happens after the mage is captured. Shey says that the armed men will go south while the four of them with the captured mage are going in the opposite direction. Dark magic has also been accounted for.
When the plan gets put into motion, the mages pick up on what's going to happen and fight back. The Spook captures a mage and binds both the mouth and eyes with the silver chain. It goes surprisingly well. The four head to a castle up north with the mage and plan to question him in the morning.
Tom dreams about the Morrigan chasing him again. And he hears Satan walking too. So now he is panicking and he doesn't at least tell Alice. Considering how nosy he was before, he owes her that at least.
The mage gets questioned in the castle's dungeons with some guards. Shey is the one doing most of the questioning. The Spook also questions him too. The mage is pretty stubborn about giving up information. Shey isn't above threatening to torture people to get answers, while the Spook, who had no problem drugging Meg, is against this. Granted, false confessions occur, but if it's coming from John Gregory, well......
We learn the goat ceremony fails because of a variety of circumstances. It comes down to picking the best goat out of seven, the human sacrifice choices being willing to die, two male mages and one female. Even if the choices die in a way other than human sacrifice, it would still work. They can't just substitute in another person. So keeping the mage alive for a while longer is a pretty good way to stop them.
Also, the mage's name is Cormac. The woman who volunteered herself is a Celtic witch.
And the castle is under siege from the rest of the mages. You would think there would be more considering the situation, but alas. Granted, they only have so many people willing to help out landowners, but even with that, there should be at least a few contingency plans. And the Spook seems more interested in laying on Shey for eating up instead of doing things the Spook's way.
Tom actually sleeps well, but he is awaken by Alice since there's plenty of mages and they have cannons. Sure they are unskilled, but again, this is one of those situations that calls for a lot of contingency planning, but nope. The plan is to hold out until the time for the ceremony has passed.
The mages aren't very effective with the cannons, so they decide to demand Cormac's release in exchange for peace. It gets rejected.
It's also only now that Tom decides to ask about Pan, the Old God the mages are trying to summon instead of literally a few chapters ago. Pan started out in Greece but he is now worshipped by many. It takes eight days of human sacrifice to summon Pan through a portal from the dark. He has two forms: One as a musician and the other terrifying. Not much is know about him.
Meanwhile, the cannon just stopped firing. The trio of Alice, Tom and the Spook get summoned to the battlements. The mages have a few other tricks up their sleeves, it turns out. Again, contingency planning. Since the mages are doing a ritual to transfer knowledge about firing cannons to each other. Since this takes 10 minutes, this would be a good opportunity to lay a counteroffense but nope.
Now the mages are actually effective at using their cannon. By afternoon of Day Two or Three, they've managed to create a hole in the castle. The good guys still make decent progress, but alas. A large man demands someone to come and fight him and taunts them. It becomes clear he's a mage since the archers try to kill him but fail because all the arrows miss.
So the next plan is to get the Spook, Alice, Tom and some of Shey's soldiers and to take Cormac and flee while Shey and his men hold out. The plan is to return to Shey's home. On Tom's suggestion and one of the few moments that show he's matured a bit, they leave within an hour to at least make the siege by the mages pointless once Shey and his men fail at defending the castle.
The fleeing party heads into a mountain where there are mages everywhere. They have to go at a glacial pace to not be spotted. They get spotted anyway and run as fast as they could so they can lose their pursuers in the mountain. Come to think about it, why wouldn't they have a plan to flee as soon as the siege started?
Tom and Alice get separated during the ensuing fight, and Tom escapes by noticing that only one of the three mages surrounding him has a torch and knocks it out of his hand. Tom flees to a river that was the muster point if anything went wrong. He reaches a cottage where a man could be seen nearby. The man points Tom in the right direction and offers Tom a place to stay. He accepts and this is pretty unwise considering he knows nothing about Ireland. I feel like even Book One Tom would not be this stupid.
Conveniently, the woman in the cottage, Scarabek, is a Celtic witch. Tom also leaves his staff outside. He should not be making these kinds of decisions at this point in the series. It's Book Eight, he's 15 I think, and this is stupid. He also conveniently doesn't feel that normal cold feeling he gets when near the dark. He accepts food from her and notices that despite a fire in the cottage, the flags are cold. Tom falls asleep and when he wakes up, he's in no shape to fight.
I'm pretty sure what I liked about this book was the Irish mythology and the turning point in Alice and Tom's relationship. I also did like Grimalkin helping to capture the Fiend. From what I have learned about the Morrigan, the Irish mythology aspect isn't nearly as fully utilized as it could have been since Pan gets more focus. There are some serious lost opportunities here.
Anyway, so there's a baby in the cottage. Tom finally gets that warning from the dark right when he's not in the position to fight. The baby is actually a creature that eats a lot. Likes to drink blood too. It also looks a lot like the man outside the cottage. The only reason Tom doesn't die is because Scarabek pulls it away from him. Scarabek also turns out to be the witch from Tom's dreams. She's pretty happy with how easy it was to get Tom under her spell. The witch that got killed by Arkwright? She was Scarabek's twin sister, and it's unique in that they share one mind, so one experiences what the other one does. In fact, she once had two blue eyes and her sister green, but after her death and Scarabek's descent into the other worlds, her eyes changed. Scarabek is one of the sacrifices, and she's planning to sacrifice Tom to the Morrigan. But there is a journey they have to make first.
Thin Shawn, Scarabek's partner, takes Tom's weapons and are planning to torture Tom along the way to their destination to get revenge for the dead witch. Scarabek's baby demon also tags along for the ride too. They do make a stop here and there to feed the baby demon. They have to keep Tom sedated throughout it so nothing happens.
And as for how Alice never got taken by Satan during the separation? Turns out Scarabek and her friends abducted her and plan to send her to Satan. They stop by a burial ground to send Alice off before they head back to the festival place. Scarabek made a deal with the devil to send Alice to him. Even then, Tom is sure the blood jar would keep her safe.
Tom and Alice are kept separate so he wouldn't try to save her. The process of being taken is pretty torturous for Alice with her being tied up. And this is when Tom realizes he's in love with her.
I don't have an issue with him taking a while to realize he's in love with her. In fact, this is one of the things I like about this series is that it's a more slow burn. What I have issues with are Tom's lack of character development and just how much he doesn't evolve past the Spook. This is what keeps me from being fully invested in them as a pair.
We do learn more about the baby demon of Scarabek and Thin Shawn. Thin Shawn is a barrowkeeper and they can only have one son. They have short lives. The barrows are for Celtic witches, but in the past they were for the ancient dead. Usually they take animal blood.
Tom gets knocked out again before everyone heads to the festival grounds for good. When he's conscious again, Satan comes to pay him a visit. Satan taunts Tom with the horrors of what Alice is experiencing in hell.
Thin Shawn comes along after and feeds Tom while taunting him. They are at the festival grounds for the sacrifice, there's a goat with a crown on its head so Pan can enter it, and Tom is blindfolded and tied. He manages to get the blindfold off and survey his surroundings.
The ceremony begins with chanting and the weather changes along with. The goat is scared shitless and Tom is unable to sleep after the chanting is done. The sacrifice is going to happen later tonight.
Near the end of the night, Tom realizes the Old God Pan has entered the goat. In the morning, we learn Cormac, the mage who was captured, is going to get executed first. It happens by beheading. Tom is pretty squeamish from this considering everything else, but then again, this is new. It becomes clear that the goat is possessed by Pan considering it stares at Tom.
Scarabek, the female sacrifice, is missing the day of hers, so the mages decide to put Tom up instead to buy time. Just when Tom is about to beheaded, Thin Shawn saves him from being killed because Scarabek wants to torture Tom further. Nobody knows where Scarabek is and Shawn thinks it's an abduction.
Over night, Pan reaches out to Tom. This is in a dream where he's in the forest. Pan appears in his human form playing music. They're in a shadow world between limbo and the dark. Tom cannot stay for too long because he's human. Heroes can. What Pan wants is to be freed from the goat's body because it's pretty unpleasant. In exchange, Tom keeps his sanity and asks for Alice to be returned from the dark, but that isn't guaranteed because that means going into someone else's domain. Tom just has to figure out how to free the goat while tied up.
Tom frees the goat because the chains around the goat's hooves are also tied to wooden boards, but not very well. Pan basically kills the goat and Tom escapes. He does get chased and he is weak, so it's no surprise he gets recaptured. They go to the mages' headquarters. Shawn and his son are there with a bunch of mages and Scarabek is only going to be returned if they give Tom back to the Spook et al. In fact, Grimalkin is the one with Scarabek. The mages are pretty confident they can take Grimalkin, but unsurprisingly, it does not work out. And this is where the book starts to pick up somewhat in quality.
How Grimalkin does it is by killing the mage sent out to kill her and disguising his severed head as hers. She sneaks in and frees Tom. Tom is still sluggish from what he's endured so Grimalkin has to carry him. Once they get to safety, they rest and Grimalkin gets up to speed on everything that's happened. So they discuss how to deal with Satan and how to work with the Spook going forward. They also discuss how the war in Lancashire County is going. It's not great, but things are expected to get better since the enemy is stretched thin resources wise. The witch clans' scriers have foreseen a victory for Lancashire.
To bind Satan, they need dark magic and it's going to be difficult. They'd have to destroy the blood jar to get the Fiend to them once everything has been prepared, but it is doable.
A bit before dawn later on, Grimalkin and Tom reconnect with Shey and the Spook. They both get caught up to speed and we learn from Shey that the ritual failed. He also knows about Pan helping Tom out and where the Fiend can be binded safely. There's a haunted stone circle, specifically, that seems to be the best candidate. And upon inspection, they find the stone circle is a dragon's lair. Which makes it even better.
In this world, dragons are air spirits and invisible. They usually aren't detectable, but this particular dragon is strong. The pit for Satan's body is going to be in the center of the circle.
By the next day, Tom, the Spook and Grimalkin have managed to dig all the way down to solid rock. Grimalkin has spears that they can put into the rock to bind him. Satan can only come near if Grimalkin wills it because of the whole child bearing thing. They also need a silver chain, which the Spook volunteers.
It takes a total of three days overall to prepare the pit for the Fiend. There is a plan in place to tackle Satan once he's summoned. Alice contacts Tom at night through the mirror asking him for help. Tom does question how she can contact him in the dark and that the doorway out of hell is in the dragon's lair. She asks him to come alone. This feels like a trap honestly.
Tom goes anyway. It was a trap by Scarabek. Again, this feels like a mistake Book One Tom would make, but on the other hand Tom is just desperate to get Alice back. Scarabek disguises herself as Alice and drags Tom into the Hollow Hills to die by the Morrigan's hand, leaving his staff behind. Only heroes can handle being in the Hollow Hills, and they still are at risk of losing their memories. This brings up back to Tom's dream where he runs to a sidhe for protection.
And here his dreams save him because he starts running. He's being chased by the Morrigan in crow form and it jogs his memory enough to find a sidhe to flee too. He gets there in time and runs into none other than Cuchallain and his hound. We learn time passes differently in the Hollow Hills since one second in there could mean years passing in the real world. There is a way for Tom to get back, but he has to do so before midnight bell peels twelve times. There is a cave wall he has to run directly through hard and fast. When Tom agrees to fight with Cuchallain, the latter is happy to offer a sword to Tom to fight the Morrigan. Stabbing the Morrigan with it would injure the Morrigan. The sword does have a quality to test if the wielder is worthy of it and it does so by bleeding out through red ruby eyes on the hilt. See, the hilt is in the shape of a skelt, with eyes.
Tom and Cuchallain leave the sidhe and start running to the exit. They do run into the Morrigan, but Cuchallain takes over and tackles her. Admittedly, he does get caught up in a battle fury for long enough for Tom to escape further and seriously wound the Old Goddess. He finally reaches the cave to exit but the Morrigan is too close and that he has to run hard and fast through the cave. So he uses his time power to fight against the Morrigan and make it hard and fast through the cave wall. And it's just in the nick of time too. This was a moment I really liked. I think it was great. I would definitely keep this in if I were to rewrite the series.
We learn that nothing has happened in the real world because Tom is left in the dragon's lair and his staff is still there. When he gets back to Shey's house and runs into Grimalkin and the Spook, Grimalkin recognizes the sword as being one of the Hero Swords crafted by Hephaestus. This specific one is the Destiny Blade. Each user has to fulfill their destiny while they wield it. It's still night in the real world, so the Spook decides he'll get up to speed in the morning. It doesn't help that Tom is injured.
In the morning, Grimalkin gives Tom a new a shirt with padding, a strap and a sheathe for the sword. She has him practice drawing the sword and using it. They have a swordfight in Shey's cellar to give Tom experience with using the sword and his staff both. He's inexperienced enough with the sword that he uses his time slowing ability to defeat her.
When the fight is over, she reveals she met a scryer who foretold that a child who was just born would be the one to kill Satan. The scryer couldn't find the child, but Grimalkin believes this was because of Tom's mother. She wants to train Tom for a week so he could use the sword properly when it comes to dealing with the Fiend, and the Spook is on board. Why wouldn't he? The more weapons expertise, the better. Joanna Payne was saying that it would make sense for spooks to have a lot more weapons than just a staff and I agree.
Grimalkin's hard training does help Tom become a bit more skilled with the sword and practice stopping time as well. Again, Grimalkin consistently has two functioning brain cells compared to many other characters.
The pit for Satan's body is ready. The plan is to decapitate him and bury the head elsewhere. Grimalkin is responsible for the head.
The night they do it, everyone has spears and there's lanterns for everyone to see. The Spook gives a hero's speech to Grimalkin and Tom for helping with the binding of Satan. To lure him out, the blood jar is broken. It takes him longer than expected, but the Fiend comes out. Tom uses his time control ability but Satan has the same ability and uses it. Tom is no match for Satan predictably.
Tom gains the upper hand eventually and pierces Satan with his spear. The Fiend's screams cause Tom to lose control over time, but so does Satan, and Grimalkin and the Spook act. Grimalkin actually manages to pierce his heart and the next spear goes into his heart too. Grimalkin and the Spook tie Satan down in the pit for long enough for Tom to behead him. It is a bit of a struggle for Tom, but he does it.
The trio buries the Fiend and the stone is laid down. Grimalkin puts a spell in place to create some extra security. All of this is done in the rain, by the way. And I can't lie, this is a pretty cool moment. This one moment I also really like.
The only way to keep the Fiend bound is to keep the head and body separate. Grimalkin decides to hold on to the head to lower the chances of him being freed while Tom and the Spook figure out how to kill him for good. And from here, Grimalkin exits the story. They still have to deal with the Fiend's servants chasing them down, so that will keep them busy.
As we come to learn, back in Lancashire County the war is starting to wind down. One morning, Tom is with Claw, Blood and Bone (Arkwright's dogs, if you don't remember) and they start chasing after something all of a sudden. Tom hears Pan's music and when he finds him in the shape of a boy, he's surrounded by a number of animals with a white haired girl at his feet. When Pan stops playing the music, we learn that binding the Fiend allowed Pan to go into his domain to get Alice as a thanks for freeing him from the goat. Binding the Fiend also deprived the goat mages of a lot of magic to bind Pan, so that's a nice bonus too.
Alice is in bad shape, unsurprisingly. Tom tries to talk to her, but she starts attacking him and tries to run away. He uses the dogs to get her back to Shey's house. It is pretty difficult to get her back to the house because of just how bad her mental state is. Shey got the doctor to check up on her while Tom suggests finding a benign witch in Lancashire to help Alice out.
Overnight, Tom finds Alice fleeing the house and runs after her. She ends up at Shey's chicken coop killing them and eating them raw. Tom compares this to a fox that had broken into his family's chicken coop and had eaten five chickens. Two of Shey's guards also find Alice in the coop. Alice flees again and Tom chases after her. She has an almost supernatural strength ever since her return from the dark.
They end up in the forest where Alice is surrounded by some people. There's still signs of the Morrigan around with one of Shey's guards falling victim. Alice is still further ahead, so when Tom finally gets to her, she's tied up to be fed to the Morrigan's crows. Scarabek was the one who tied her up and the mages were there to help her. Tom has no weapons so he falls victim to them very quickly. Just when they're done tying Tom up to a tree to be fed, Alice breaks free of her bindings and gains some of her mental capacity back. She kills Scarabek and the crow that was about to kill Tom. She uses both physical strength and spells to do all of this. She's not quite the same Alice as she was before, especially because she has a moon on her leg. With every step closer to the dark, the moon waxes and when it's a full moon, she's a full part of the dark. It's an irreversible process. She also, as we come to learn, has always had an insane amount of power and just never revealed it to Tom. Again, I think this is a pretty cool moment, albeit quite dark. Alice is kind of unhinged throughout the whole thing, but she is starting to show signs of returning to normal given that she saves Tom. She also heals Tom of injuries that he might have. The rest of the mages have fled while all of this was going down.
Tom and Alice return back to Shey's house and explain the chicken slaughter as Alice being under a spell. The Spook knows it's BS, but he decides this can wait for another time. The good news we learn is that Lancashire County won the war and they can go back.
In private, Alice reveals what I've already touched on above, but also that she enjoyed killing the witch and feels genuinely horrified with herself. This could be because she's been in the dark for so long. She also still thought she was in the dark since Tom was used against her to make her think she was in the real world. This has happened to her multiple times. She figured out she was back in the real world because she managed to get a glimpse at the scar she gave Tom in Book One. The one that says he belongs to her.
As for the chickens, she felt the urge to drink live blood. Again, being in the dark screwed her over. Tom remembers what his mother had told him about Alice: That she could have a bit of both the dark and the light in her.
So final thoughts: There's a lot that has happened here, and this is a good turning point for the series. Aside from Tom making some stupid decisions and not fully utilizing the Morrigan and Cuchallain as much as it could have, I think it was a step up from Book Seven. I would've had Tom fall into Scarabek's hands by accidentally crossing a border into the Hollow Hills instead of what we actually got. At least it would have made more sense and wouldn't have had a stupid decision that Tom should be way above making by now. Then Tom and Alice get separated in the Hollow Hills only for Scarabek to capture one and Thin Shawn the other. Then Alice gets sent to the Fiend. I feel like this sort of turning point in the series should have happened right after Book 5, but that would require a lot of rewrites. Nonetheless, this does feel like a return to form. I do like Grimalkin a lot, so I think I will like the next book too.
Aperture (Harry Styles)-This could grow on me. There are some songs of his I like, but for the most part, I struggle to connect with his stuff. He does hit hard when he's good though.
Sen Trope (Azis)-This showed up in my Youtube recommendations and I am not complaining. This is a bop.
I am currently listening to the new Noah Kahan song out right now (The Great Divide, btw) and I do struggle to connect with these types of folksy songs. But I do get the appeal, and Stick Season is still one of my favourite tracks of 2022. So maybe further tracks will hit me harder. I do like the soft rock aspects of it, so I do think I'll like it if I listen to it more often.
Mitski dropped a new track called I'll Change for You today. It's beautiful. I love it. I like the swelling strings, and how soft her voice is. I like the desperation communicated in it. It feels really understated and it's lovely.
This is an older track, but go check out Moby's Porcelain. I got into it through @doyoulikethissong-poll and I've been wanting to listen to it for a while. It is a really beautiful, understated song. I have to check out this guy's other stuff.
Ever since the explosion of antisemitism within music nerd spaces, I've started looking for artists in other countries to listen to. I've always liked exploring other cultures through music.
So this is a song from a famous Tanzanian musician I came across. It showed up in my recommended. Afrobeats and amapiano are having a big moment these days, with Nigerian musicians like Rema being big. Then there's Tyla, who is a rising star. I do think afrobeats will be one of the defining genres of the 2020s.
RAYE just released a great song with Hans Zimmer. She already released Where is My Husband! last year and that was great. I am excited for the album to come out.
I like the new RAYE album a lot. I like the return of big band and jazzier stuff.
On a related note, I did check out some of Stephen Sanchez's stuff after finding out he's pretty normal about Jews. It's not bad, but I connect with RAYE a lot more.
I like Laufey's new song Madwoman. It's a nice jazzy throwback and it offers something different. Laufey is a nice breath of fresh air period when it comes to mainstream music.
This showed up on my Youtube recommended and I checked it out once I saw it went semi viral. I wouldn't be surprised if we heard more from this group in the future.
This Ukrainian track has been in rotation recently and it goes hard. (Side note: A guy that baby faced should not sound like that)
Given that so many people are obsessing over Kanye West, including Anthony Fantano, who is friends with Hasan Piker, I am obligated to recommend a Jewish rapper, or in this case, rap duo instead. I will go further and recommend an Israeli rap duo worth checking out instead. Here you go.
I like the new Olivia Rodrigo track and I've liked all her releases so far, so I should like this third album.
Rosalia released the best album of the year last year and I am so excited to listen to the complete edition. I listened to that album an unhealthy amount of times.
From the Punjabi music scene we have Diljit Dosanjh. If you ever want to get into Punjabi music he's a good place to start.
I listened to all of the 2026 entrants for Eurovision and I'm hoping to do so for Eurovision Asia this year too.
LOVE (no particular order):
Serbia: It's really intense heavy metal and full of emotion. I find the band really convincing
Denmark: If this won I would be super happy. It's super gay, in Danish, and the guy's vocal ability is excellent. Granted, he is a musical theatre actor and they have absolutely insane vocal talent in general. He's not an exception.
Albania: A song about a mother waiting for her son to return back to his country does get to people. It got to me.
Romania: Not the most feminist choice but it does remind me of The Pretty Reckless. I like it. This should do well.
Moldova: Moldova is on duty indeed.
Montenegro: Honestly, slay. It goes hard.
Croatia: Feminist anthem with heavy emphasis on the vocals? Sign me up. I hope they pull it off live.
UK: This is what we needed from the UK. I am so excited to see how this guy pulls off his staging. I feel good about this one.
Latvia: Really beautiful entry. This will do well.
LIKE:
Malta: I'm surprised this isn't considered a contender to win. It's more simple than a lot of the songs this year and we can never underestimate a good looking guy with a ballad. I think this is going to do really well.
Israel: Not something I would go out of my way to listen to but still good. I get the appeal.
Ukraine: Same with Israel and I expect Ukraine to elevate this one a lot.
Portugal: This is charming. Portugal has been very good with their performances these past few years so I expect good things from them regarding this.
Armenia: I think this will be absolutely fun to watch live. I am looking forward to seeing what it's like on stage.
Cyprus: This is a fun pleasure. Not something I would go out of my way to listen to but again, I like it and I'm rooting for it.
Finland: It's well performed but imo that violin does a lot of heavy lifting. This is the current contender to win the contest by a mile.
Italy: Like Portugal, this is charming and a nice throwback. I loved their 2025 entry a lot, so it is really hard to live up to. But I find Ukraine, Italy, Sweden, and Portugal are the countries that send what they think reflects them as people most often.
Overall, I think it's a pretty average year. 2024 was great and 2025 I didn't like the entries as much (the bad entries last year were terrible). I find this year somewhat better and more consistent.
I like the new Ariana Grande song and Olivia Rodrigo's The Cure. I am definitely binging the latter's album when it comes out. Ariana is so big she can just do whatever she wants so I am curious to see where she goes from here. Olivia is one of the most interesting artists of the 2020s and I think she's going to be one of the most influential in the Anglosphere.
I listened to the new Olivia Rodrigo album. It's great, you should check it out. My favourite songs off of it are The Cure, Drop Dead, Cigarette Smoke, Mess, Maggots for Brains, Honeybee, Purple, and What's Wrong With Me. I find Cigarette Smoke and The Cure to be the ones that I gravitate to the most out of all the tracks. I think Olivia is only going to get better from here.
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There have been literal race riots going on in parts of the UK over the last few days - violent, angry bigots firebombing homes and cars belonging to immigrants, refugees, and literally anyone with dark skin, with families having to flee under police protection.
This vile behaviour is being goaded on by far right agitators and parties like Reform UK and the media pretending like these nasty thuggish arseholes have “legitimate” concerns rather than just being maladjusted, pathetic little cunts who can’t stand their own irrelevance.
I never want to see anyone pretend we don’t have a huge fucking racism problem ever again.
You know what I can’t stop thinking about? Refugees - people who have escaped some of the worst circumstances imaginable, hell on earth, some who have had to make extremely dangerous journeys to get here, believing that they would find safety, peace, a fresh start. Instead, this is what they find.
And I'll see other posts on here about this and be nodding along, agreeing, until I get to the end and see unhingedly antisemitic sentences about "zionist baby killers" and I'm like, nope, you have lost me completely.
Trading one form of racism for another. Well done. Meanwhile, I'm here, in the middle, going "you're all fucking arseholes actually."
Greetings form italy, war asoiaf! Can you tell us the behind the scene details of Russia asking tò joint NATO in the First 2000s ? Thank you
Russia's offer to join NATO during 2000 was never sincere. Putin's demand was that Russia be omitted from membership criteria like democratic reforms and anti-corruption efforts, and also demanded a leadership role complete with exercising veto power and stopping the Vilnus Group from joining NATO - particularly the Baltic States. NATO membership for the Baltics would permanently end Russian revanchist goals to incorporate the Baltic states under Russian military and economic hegemony (the reason the Visegard and Vilnus groups wanted to join NATO in the first place largely was due to fear of Russian revanchism along with desire for US and European investment into their economies which had calcified under their communist dictatorships).
The impression I get is that while there was a brief shining moment where the Russians sincerely did look forward to a productive partnership and alliance with the West (though that moment was more around 1990 than around 2000), their idea of a productive partnership and alliance was basically "the Russian Empire, continuing and revitalized, only this time Western Europe and North America are propping it up instead of holding it back." And they were genuinely baffled when the West was like "that's not how this works."
Even more than that, if you look at OSCE meetings at other high-level engagements between Yeltsin and Clinton, there was always talk of extensive leadership and privilege afforded to Russia to secure itself as the regional hegemon of Europe. Yelstin even spoke that the US should leave Europe to Russia along with Asia, as Russia was half-European and half-Asian.
... How did they think that was going to go, even if they got what they wanted?
Boris: "You should leave Europe and Asia to Russians. Just stick to Americas."
Bill: "Done! You have no idea how many voters wonder why we even have NATO anymore."
Next week's headline: "China And European Union Sign Unprecedented Treaty For Trade And Military Cooperation!"
It's not America that's stopping the Russians from ruling Eurasia, it's reality.
Well, let's be honest. Russia has been one of, if not the most, coddled and indulged nation in the foreign policy sphere. When they launch coups against governments even with legitimate electoral representation, they're given consideration as factional representation. When they demand that puppet states be considered "independent voices," it's granted without conditions. Why should they expect any different when they have had almost every geopolitical wish granted since the formation of the United Nations without protest?
Happy Pride Month to every single member of the LBGTQIA+ community in the Middle East, especially to the many poor souls who are not in places that allow them to celebrate or simply be themselves.
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