never had a thought and not about to start now

“what’s the worst fruit” i hope you fucking die im strangling you what the hell is wrong with you. ‘the worst fruit’… has god not made all of these fruits in the same light???? cunt

Red Delicious Apples

May I someday gain the same level of succinct cutting vitriol criticism as the applerankings.

Layering my Short Skirt, Long Jacket (CAKE) over my White Tee (CORPSE) and Blue Jeans (Lana Del Ray) Knee Socks (Arctic Monkeys) and Blue Suede Shoes (Elvis) and then putting on my Raspberry Beret (Prince) before I head out to the Bard Olympics where I am disqualified for performance-enhancing power buffs. On my way home I am cast as a sassy but cute side character in an early 2010's Disney Channel original series. I look fresh as hell

I guess that makes you a Sharp Dressed Man (ZZ Top)

*finger guns*

I heard this out as "When criticizing something, you must judge it for what it is, not what it isn't"

#this is why so many of us urge people to get a wider diet of stories

i love you semicolon. no one look at my 80 word sentence

There is… a lot going on here.

wands are like the smartphone of the wizard world, a slimmed and streamlined spellcasting apparatus of the modern era that has many slightly older wizards going "ugh kids these days don't know what it's like to have the sturdy weight of a Staff in your hands at all times. sure its not as portable but at least i can still use it to beat a motherfucker when im out of mana."

Fun fact: due to the ongoing financial support from the people of tumblr, critically endangered pygmy raccoons being rehabbed in Cozumel are now able to get vaccines for deadly diseases like distemper and rabies before they are released.

this is so late renaissance early mannerism. the controversial male nudity? the lighting and value on the figure of emphasis?? him bathed in light and placed ABOVE while the police are clad in dark and BELOW?? Uh HES HITTING THE CONTRAPPOSTO??

Human bodies are so weird like the upper half consists of every single vital organ and the lower half is legs

also….who are we kidding when it comes to her ‘‘little brother’‘ Winthrop.

#let’s all be honest: marian and her mother left to “help out a cousin in Chicago” and then came back with a baby     #marian only ever referred to this baby as her brother. mrs. paroo only ever called him her son.     #but if you were the family doctor. or maybe someone who knows a little bit about gestational math and menopausal women.     #you might have some follow up questions.     #anyway stay tuned for other hot takes about this american musical from the 1960s.  

what if I just made my profile picture a male calico cat or something. hurm

Could I suggest a picture of Dawntreader Texas Calboy? He is a beautiful male calico cat who is a chimera. He's also somewhat controversial among some cat fancy associations since he is a male cat with female colors, and some people are strangely transphobic towards him, despite him being a cat? There was even a rule implemented to keep him from competing in a cat show. If you look up his name, he made a few news articles.