“I’m coming over, you better not be Vintage American Girl Westie Coconut With Chariot And Tiara when I get there.”
my unruly ass:
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@apollorat660
“I’m coming over, you better not be Vintage American Girl Westie Coconut With Chariot And Tiara when I get there.”
my unruly ass:

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hey it's me black mold. thanks for running your window air conditioner all summer. whatever you do, do not regularly clean the removable filter. that's not necessary
you should also never ever unplug the air conditioner and stick a flashlight in the vent that blows air to see if we're in there. it's very bad, that place should not be checked
and whatever you do, if you've already made the mistake of unplugging it, don't remove it from the window for cleaning if possible. and whether it's possible to remove the unit or not, don't carefully disassemble the front panel, document where the screws go and plastic bits go, and open up the vent more to be able to get into it easily
as black mold, i'm an expert on this. you should heed my warnings: now, if you've somehow made the mistake of doing all of the above, you should not use warm water and dish soap to CLEAN the inside of the vent thoroughly. DON'T ever use a bottle brush to get into the hard to reach places. and certainly don't rinse and dry the cleaned area before carefully putting it back together
there's nothing wrong with us, black mold. we don't cause or exacerbate breathing conditions like asthma or other illnesses. it's cool, we're cool
furthermore, if you're capable of removing the window unit, DONT take a hose with the same soapy water and wash the portion of the window unit that sits outside the window and is therefore weatherproofed.
whatever you do, don't allow the air conditioner to dry before plugging it back in and turning it on again
and if you have a central air conditioner, you will definitely never ever consult a manual or sources online to perform a similar cleaning procedure on the cooling unit outside.
lastly, if you're physically unable to do the things we (the black mold) warned you not to do above, you should never ever ask someone to help you or hire a service to do it.
Also even if you do not have the time, space or ability to do some of the the things in the OP, definitely do not clean the coils (the awful sharp flat stacks of metal) with foaming coil cleaner. That removes the beneficial black mold (us) holding the unit together. It will be completely unsatisfying to watch the foam clean out the Super Beneficial Black Mold, Mildew, Hair, Lint & Dust Combo™ (that is not only a health hazard but making the unit less efficient at cooling necessary for air conditioner function) and leave the metal shiny.
It is a lot of elbow grease and definitely not just spraying a can and waiting. Especially do not use the ones that are self rinsing via the natural condensation of water around the coils where all you have to do is let the foam settle a couple hours before turning the unit back on. These foaming cleaners are also terrible to use on the removable air intake vent covers. You definitely do not just have to spray the opposite side of all the trapped shit on the plastic mesh and let the foam push it off. Also that stuff on the cover is great for you and your air conditioner.
Trust us. We, the mold, know much more about air conditioners than the people who make aerosol cans you can pick up for like $8 at home depot. Definitely do not do this a couple times a season.
and they are the bestest of friends
hey everyone its april fools. but dont worry i dont have anything planned. just going to sit here and...
I LIED !!!! GET PRANKED
POST BELOW ME GET FUCKING WET
trans guy who doesn’t realize he’s turning into a werewolf because he assumes it’s all just normal side effects of starting testosterone
trans girl who doesn’t realize she’s turning into a vampire because she assumes it’s all just normal side effects of starting estrogen
post paused, let’s talk about this now
String identified: ta g ’t a ’ tg t a ca a t’ a t a ct tatg ttt ta g ’t a ’ tg t a a ca a t’ a t a ct tatg tg c #<- a at t c ca act t a, t’ ta at t C!
Closest match: Mya arenaria isolate MELC-2E11 chromosome 5 Common name: Soft-Shelled Clam
(image source)

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adios
everyone on replies is terrified of this fact but i just think it's so sweet and heartwarming. she's holding our hand and leading us somewhere secret and we're both giggling like kids. i love her
let’s travel through the vast unknown with mama
i love this website i Hope we all Make It

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16 years of starkid!!
The cruelty of racist white men.
Does anyone else remember when Elon was like "if anyone knows how to end world hunger for 6 billion USD, I'll fund it" and UNICEF was like "we're going to spend a month to make a plan to end world hunger for 6 billion USD and Elon is going to fund it" and Elon was like "actually, nah" and then bought Twitter instead?
I think that was one of the worst things I'll ever see in my life.
I still think that should be the thing for which he's the most famous. It should be brought up every time he's mentioned. In any news article, any interview, any history book. "Elon Musk, who was offered a chance to end world hunger and turned it down." Put it on his fucking gravestone.
USA people! Buy NOTHING Feb 28 2025. Not anything. 24 hours. No spending. Buy the day before or after but nothing. NOTHING. February 28 2025. Not gas. Not milk. Not something on a gaming app. Not a penny spent. (Only option in a crisis is local small mom and pop. Nothing. Else.) Promise me. Commit. 1 day. 1 day to scare the shit out of them that they don't get to follow the bullshit executive orders. They don't get to be cowards. If they do, it costs. It costs.
Then, if you can join me for Phase 2. March 7 2025 thtough March 14 2025? No Amazon. None. 1 week. No orders. Not a single item. Not one ebook. Nothing. 1 week. Just 1.
If you live outside the USA boycott US products on February 28 2025 and stand in solidarity with us and also join us for the week of no Amazon.
Are you with me?
Spread the word.
For context, there is a blackout on February 28 to protest against de DEI roll back
The national economic blackout is scheduled as a way for Americans to boycott major retailers that have pulled back on DEI policies.
When I was young I had this book called people who work at night and as a little kid it was really comforting to know that there were people awake while I was asleep (especially bakers for some reason).
Game of the year
Putting this alongside Disco Elysium on my list of woke games that call you a faggot

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murder wives
and with your help it can rack up 700k notes on tumblr in 2024
no tumblr this doesnt need tags im releasing it into the wild as god intended