baffler

oh shit it’s darkiplier!!!! save me secretary of defense james mattis!

big pharma will try to sell u $20 cold medicine like spicy ramen doesnt cost like a dollar a pack and orgasms are free

big chemist will try to sell you £20 paracetamol like beans dont cost like a quid a can and havin a wank costs fock all

i hate australian people they need a dumb fucking nickname for every single word. can’t even get in a car accident without some australian asshole coming up to you and saying “oh gotcha self in a carblammy there aintcha mate” kill yourself and go to hell

Hey kids, you need to start worrying a little less about getting “#mogged” and a little more about getting “#smogged”. This is an Air Quality Index public service announcement.

lets make bad art together

i just realized that i forgot to put the word “make” in the image and i think thats fitting lets bad art together

I need some sort of light fixture that is a stone orb or circle, this is a physiological need I think it's bc they look like the moon so it seems natural

“it isnt something you have to read critically” well 😭

this technically is true but I think this also perfectly encapsulates why I am inherently distrustful of like. “”cozy”” “turn your brain off” fiction lmfao. like okay WHO gets to turn their brain off and who has to suffer through bigoted caricatures of themselves while everyone else is having cozy silly no brain time 😐

having a headache while hydrated is so unfair. you were supposed to protect me.