Chantal Séverine van Mourik Guštin, proudly grey-haired: Not only Gušti's wife and Kris' mom
I See Myself Again in the Mirror
Text: Sonja Javornik Photography: Mateja J. Potočnik
Photo caption: "He still gives me rides on the bike's steering wheel," Chantal says with a laugh.
Very soon after moving to Slovenia, where almost three decades ago she was brought by her love for her husband, Gušti, she began working as a promoter for music publishers at various record labels. Although she is a striking beauty whom one can easily imagine in the spotlight, she spent most of her career behind the scenes. She has now realized that the role of a supporter suits her best.
Chantal is proud of her family, in which the eldest of their three children, Kris, the guitarist of the band Joker Out, is also well known. She is spontaneous, warm-hearted, cheerful and, something rather rare, even appeared at our photo shoot without makeup. She is happy with herself exactly as she is, with grey hair and a crochet hook in her hands.
During our conversation in the garden of a café in Ljubljana, she shared many interesting thoughts with us. While we were chatting, she greeted a dog that had clearly sensed her positive energy, waved to a baby... Apparently, it really is true, as she says, that the well-being of everyone around her matters most to her.
● Quite a few well-known people have recently stopped dyeing their hair. Why did you decide to go grey?
My hair is grey because I am at a mature age, and also because of genetics. The men in my family, my uncles and other relatives, also went grey quite early. But the main thing is that I no longer have to dye my hair every few days. My roots become visible very quickly. The contrast between white hair and the dark brown or black colour I used to have is significant.
When you leave the hairdresser, you feel wonderful. But just a few days later, after washing your hair once or twice, your roots already start showing. What matters most to me is that I no longer have to look in the mirror feeling that something is wrong with me. Before, you constantly found faults with yourself because the roots were showing or the colour wasn't quite right. Now I look in the mirror and say to myself, "It's okay. We're great." And that is a wonderful feeling. (smiles)
● Your husband is a rock star. Have you ever worried that he might leave you for a younger fan?
Not at all! (laughs) It has never worried me, and I doubt it ever will. Our relationship is not based on appearances or on the expectation that we must always look young and flawless. We have travelled a long road together and have come to know each other through every stage of life. Just as it never worried me in the past, it doesn't worry me today either. Of course, nothing in life is one hundred percent guaranteed, so you can never say with complete certainty that your partner will be with you forever. But I doubt that growing older or looking different would ever be the reason for changing partners. That would not be the deciding factor. I won't claim that something like that could never happen, because life can always surprise us. But the thought that someone would love me less simply because I have gone grey or grown older seems meaningless to me.
I'd Rather Go to Gušti Than Joker Out
Of course, Chantal enjoys going both to her husband's concerts and to Joker Out concerts, where her son performs. If both were playing on the same evening, whose concert would she choose? "Gušti's," she answers without hesitation. She is still one of his biggest fans.
Photo caption: With the moustached middle-aged lady, Apple the dog.
● I've noticed that women who are considered exceptionally beautiful are often the quickest to decide to have cosmetic procedures.
That's true. You do wonder why they feel they need them at all.
● Perhaps because great beauty has always been part of their identity, the first thing people noticed about them. You are also a very attractive woman. Why have you never been more preoccupied with your appearance?
I don't think beauty is something you can buy. Nor is it objectively defined by perfect eyebrows, the absence of drooping eyelids, or tight skin. That is not beauty to me. That is simply an image. Of course, we all want to look healthy, energetic, and full of life. When you're sleep deprived, your face may be puffy and you might want to fix something quickly. Then you notice dark circles under your eyes or a few more wrinkles in the mirror. But those are temporary corrections. If you constantly focus on fixing yourself and use all those beauty treatments and products, you are subconsciously telling yourself in front of the mirror that you are not good enough as you are. I believe that I am good exactly as I am.
● So you invested your energy more in your inner self than in your outward appearance?
Probably, yes. Besides, constantly maintaining your appearance, from regular visits to the hairdresser, Botox and eyelash treatments to manicures and pedicures, is an enormous financial expense. I have never had enough money available to spend carelessly on those things. Rather than focusing on myself, I prefer focusing on our collective well-being, making sure that we are all doing well, that we are happy, and that we live a good life together. It seems to me that by being part of something bigger that functions well, where we love one another and give each other positive energy and encouragement, I gain my own strength and energy. I wouldn't say that I have spent all those years working on myself, but I have learned many things over time.
If I return to the subject of my hair, I have to admit that for a long time I felt I had to be dark-haired, because after all, I was the "Black Tulip"! (*At the time when Gušti was a member of the band Big Foot Mama, he wrote that song, 'Črn Tulipan', specifically about Chantal, editor's note.) That song became a kind of label for me, and I believed I had to stay dark-haired. But in reality, I hadn't actually been black-haired for twenty years. When Kris was born, I went grey almost overnight, and at around the age of twenty-six or twenty-seven I started dyeing my hair. Very early, really. When I finally stopped, I experienced a feeling of freedom.
"Our relationship is not based on appearances or on the expectation that we must always look young and flawless. We have travelled a long road together and have come to know each other through every stage of life. The thought that someone would love me less simply because I have gone grey or grown older seems meaningless to me."
● Your Instagram posts are quite different from the typical content people share. You come across as natural, without filters.
I call them five-minute posts because I don't spend all day working on them. I wake up in the morning, notice what's happening around me, record a short moment, and that's it. I think it's important that both men and women return to what truly matters. My philosophy is that we are all wonderful exactly as we are. We don't have to keep proving ourselves all the time. It is enough simply to be. If someone enjoys wearing makeup and finds creativity in it, that's wonderful. It just isn't for me. What matters is that in real life we remain true to ourselves, without unnecessary filters.
Not Only Gušti's Wife, But Also Kris's Mom
● You mentioned that throughout your life you have mostly been in a supporting role. Did you ever feel frustrated because you were less noticed than the well-known men in your life - your husband and your son?
Yes, of course. But over the past few years I have worked through that. At first, I thought the frustration came from my own desire to be more visible or admired. But as I outgrew society's expectations, I realized it was actually an idea imposed by others: the belief that you always have to be in the spotlight, have a brilliant career, or be an influencer. I realized that I don't actually need any of that. My strength lies in cheering others on and supporting them in their development. When I worked at an international school, my first truly corporate environment, where everyone competed for prestige, I realized that it did not make me happy. What fulfilled me much more was working with creative students and helping them develop their potential.
● Today, people often judge others by their success and wealth, even though the main measure should be whether they are satisfied with their own lives, wouldn't you agree?
I completely agree. I meet many people who appear extremely successful on the outside, yet constantly feel something is missing inside. There is always something they lack. Something is always wrong. But it is important not only to think about what else we want, but also to be aware of everything we already have. I don't think it is right that some people should be considered more valuable than others. I believe we are all equal and equally important, and that we should be able to live together peacefully, safely, and well as a community. Every individual contributes something to society. Some people, like Nika Kovač, whom I mention because she just happened to walk past our table, lead major and highly visible initiatives that have a significant impact. But the person who collects the rubbish every day also plays an important role. Can you imagine the chaos, the smell, without that person? We should appreciate every individual's contribution.
A Story Worthy of a Novel
Chantal and Gušti first met as teenagers at the seaside. Their love was so fateful that Gušti later invited her to appear in the music video for the song 'Črn Tulipan', which he had written for her. They have remained together ever since. Their children know the story well too, although Chantal isn't sure whether they have ever actually seen the music video.
● Would your life have been easier if you had stayed in the Netherlands?
Definitely not. It seems to me that Dutch society, compared to Slovenian society, especially in urban areas, is even more focused on competition, standardization, and the constant struggle for success.
● We already know that Kris speaks Dutch...
All three of our children speak Dutch.
● So you travel to the Netherlands quite often. But Indonesia also seems to catch your eye. Do you go there frequently as well?
Not at all. I've actually never been there. But I still feel those roots because they are part of who I am. I notice certain traits in all of my children. I also see them in my parents, especially my father and my grandmother, who is already ninety-five years old. We are a very close family.
● Kris is very much in the public eye. Has that affected your family dynamic? Do you perhaps pay more attention to your other two children now?
No, there is no need for that. All credit to Kris, because he has never taken advantage of his popularity. Besides, I always joke that we are like a clan: when you get one of us, you get all of us. (laughs) Within our clan, everyone has their own place: Kris, Maks, Maja, Miha, and me. It all comes back to the same idea that no one is better or worse than anyone else. We are equals. No matter what you do or what you achieve in life, we are all here cheering you on. Each of the children has their own strengths and the things they do exceptionally well. Each of them shines in their own way.
"When Kris was born, I went grey almost overnight, and at around the age of twenty-six or twenty-seven I started dyeing my hair. Very early, really. When I finally stopped, I experienced a feeling of freedom."
● And what do Maks and Maja excel at?
Maks excels at university...
● Chantal, your eyes just lit up. You are clearly a very proud mother!
Yes, absolutely, I am a very proud mother! (smiles) Maks is doing exceptionally well in Materials Engineering. It's a demanding course, but Maks is persistent. If he doesn't pass all his exams the first time, I know he'll put in the effort later and complete everything. Alongside his studies, he works on the maintenance team at a hotel, and he is genuinely a hardworking young man. He also has a girlfriend now, and even her mother is completely charmed by him, so it's not just my opinion!
Maja is an excellent student, she plays the guitar, and she is very creative. Earlier today she called me at work and asked for some pink fabric so she could sew herself some tops. I told her she could cut up an old pink bedsheet. Then I came home and discovered she hadn't just used the old sheets but another set of bedding as well, so I had to scold her. (laughs)
"I think it's important that both men and women return to what truly matters. My philosophy is that we are all wonderful exactly as we are. We don't have to keep proving ourselves all the time. It is enough simply to be."
● You and Maja also knit together, don't you?
Sometimes we sit together and crochet. I crochet, while she paints, draws, and plays the guitar. There's something else I really like about her and the boys: they are all self-sufficient. They aren't the kind of people who constantly seek validation from others. They're simply interested in what we're going to do that day, because they enjoy being active.
● It sounds as though you really have a happy family life.
Yes, we really do. It almost sounds a bit cheesy, doesn't it? But yes, that's how it is. (smiles)
● Then tell us this: if Kris's birth hadn't already turned your hair grey, which of the children would have given you the most grey hairs? Did they also go through phases of doing silly things?
They've all had their phases, or still have them. Well, Maja hasn't, at least not yet. Maks has ADHD. There was a period when that was particularly challenging because our world, especially the school system, isn't really designed for children who sometimes need a little more space. But Maks has never allowed that to limit him or make him feel different. Of course there are challenges, because life is never completely smooth. There are times when money is tight or when you have hopes that don't work out. But we stay together, and together we always try to find the best way forward. As long as we stick together, we are unbreakable.
