keep the light ‘til there’s closure

[very clearly indulging the urge] im fighting the urge

number one rule! never believe ur thoughts after 10 pm . unless its about The Character then believe all of your thoughts wholeheartedly

kevin day should’ve been an ancient greek tragic heroine and instead he got stuck in a self published 2010s contemporary sports/crime thriller… and he didn’t even get put on the woke team so he doesn’t know about estrogen or bisexuality

genuinely one of my favourite details about Bram Stokers Dracula that isn't really transferred to the pop culture is that vampires have irridescent eyes, they appear brown at a glance, however when light is reflected on them they seem to go red!

also like the cowboy part can we please stop omitting the fact that there is a real ass cowboy in Bram Stokers Dracula and hes from real ass Texas and he has a fucking gun and he tries to fucking shoot Dracula

month starting on a monday we have no excuse guys lets get to work and lock the fuck in

yk its actually very chic and avant garde to start on tuesday the second

many claim theres nothing more subversive and revolutionary than starting on wednesday the third

y’all have got to stop recommending aftg to heated rivalry enjoyers unprompted 😭 this is like recommending cocaine to someone who has eaten a pot brownie once

i bet it feels good as fuck to intend to do something and then actually do it

17th century european philosophers are so funny, they’ll be like “my aim herein is to discourse upon the nature of that which we call ‘civilization,’ and more generally that which we call ‘civil.’ the finger, as all can perceive, is a certain gland growing from the tissue of the arm, which, when acted upon by the electrical motion of the soul, doth exhibit such selfsame actions as does the worm; and therefore we may surmise that the worm is made of the same substance as the finger, or rather the finger the worm” and they just go on talking about fingers in a deeply incorrect but worryingly rational way for another 20 pages

next time you’re at the thrift store and find a nice solid thick pile area rug for a shockingly good price and you’ve been looking for an area rug for the office forever and the color goes really nicely with the office color scheme and you think this is it, this is what i’ve been waiting for, stop, and ask yourself: did i take the bus here?

they should invent a high ponytail that doesn’t give me a headache and they should invent a low ponytail that doesn’t make me look like a miller’s apprentice going off to enlist in the continental army

okay. fine. i have a solution that will make no one happy. let's make pluto a planet. if we launch one tungsten cube per day for 200 years precisely aimed at pluto's surface it will become massive enough to gravitationally clear its orbit of other kuiper belt objects. this will be completely useless and extremely expensive as well as potentially dangerous. and it will destroy the heart