Really gross of me to desire attention, disgusting honestly.

I should get it anyway tho

idk what young person on the internet needs to hear this but you are not obligated to share any personal details about yourself online. in fact im gonna straight-up circle back to 00s era advice and say being anonymous is good actually

you can post on tumblr even when you're trying to take a break from social media it literally doesn't count. it's like pepsi max, or pescatarianism

robocop’s famous catchphrase

sex from a guy who employs a 4 minute rube goldberg machine to put on the condom

I used to be monotheistic. Until the great worm that I worship got cut in half

Yeah, well, I'm the most handsome wet specimen in this oddities cabinet.

“I’m only saying this for foreshadowing purposes”

“this’ll make more sense when you meet your nemesis but-”

“shit that’s not in the script”

“i thought we cancelled this story arc”

“Probably gonna rewrite this later so-”

“oof that’ll hit the ratings”

“that’s not gonna make it past the censors”

“i’m still amazed this project got greenlit”

“in this political climate???”

Crazy how 6 years later, the quirky inserts just became mainstream vernacular. Aint that right, chat?

reality jumped the shark so bad the whole writer’s room got fired and now we’re all meta-aware