disgruntled queer nerd

giving increasingly loud sighs as I wait for my crush to ask "what's wrong?" so I can say I'm in a state of depression unless I can touch someone's boobs with no bra

I stop once I start getting short of breath

[Your crush, on the phone to someone unseen] Yeah I think she needs to be put down, her breathing-- yeah I know it can be a problem for her breed, but it's getting really bad.

I'M NOT A DOG??????

[clearly less interested now] Oh.

wait! au au

[walking over the distant horizon, towards the West]

AU AU!!! AU AU!!!!! 😭

functionally suicidal character saying “I would die for you” to their significant other and its like. I get the sentiment, honey, but if a hot dog vendor told me he’d sell hot dogs for me, I wouldn’t feel very moved now would I

Now a functionally suicidal character saying “I will live for you”. Now that’s a dynamic I can sink my teeth into.

now how about a functionally suicidal character saying "I will sell hot dogs for you"

Hotdog vender lays down their life to protect their suicidal partner, who then takes over the hotdog stand to carry on their memory...

It's like talking to a 2010 Old Spice commercial with you people

it's good that I will never be a dog breeder, bc I would make the elephant dog. long borzoi snout, chunky pitbull body, ears of a papillon

one hundred baltoys btw if you even care.................

for reference these are the yuka morii baltoys from silver tempest. yuka morii makes actual clay models of the pokemon for the card art which makes a lot of sense for baltoy because its made of clay in lore!!! these cards cost like 2 pennies each so this was not an especially expensive endeavour. the sleeves cost more than the total value of the cards including shipping. i could only get a 96 card binder because of the mathematics of page layouts so i gently affixed a sleeve gently protecting baltoy to the inside and outside of the front and back covers too to make it an even 100 baltoys. 100 baltoys 100 baltoys 100 baltoys

every pokemon is somebodys favourite deniers in shambles when i show them the 100 baltoys binder

Shapeshifter who gets horribly grotesque and mutilated when flustered

young old person tip for you all. go get some photos printed (pauses so someone can say bogos binted) and fill out a physical album

and annotate them with who is in the photos and when and where the photos were taken!!! your extended family 50 years from now will be grateful, and so will you if you end up forgetting any details

(sprints into room late, looking harried and frantic as fuck) bogos binted. did I miss it

word on the street is if you suffer in just the right way for just long enough youll be rewarded

worm on the street is dried out in the sun and crispy

you're so beautifol :) may i sense you with my feelers

Joy and whimsy detected! This post is joyful and whimsical!

"Whimsy" is truly a wretched term. What maketh thee so carefree?

thy mother

Art thou for fucking real

Official joy and whimsy post

You wouldn’t think that flamingoes are extremophiles just from looking at them. It’s like somebody tried to build the vertebrate equivalent of that fungus that lives inside nuclear reactors, and ended up with a gangly pink dinosaur with a spoon for a face.

….. Didn’t know most of that

Huh… so that’s why zoos don’t put them somewhere warm during winter.

Some species of flamingo actually subsist almost entirely on a diet of bacteria! In other words, there is a species of dinosaur that eats only bacteria and lives in lakes so toxic they would kill almost anything else—and it is best known to the average person as a kitschy lawn decoration.