Haunted by the sounds of brutal pipe murder 😔

here at the sandwich shop, we’ve started to notice some people who are new to sandwiches aren’t used to meat and cheese between two slices of bread. they find this practice strange and confusing. that’s why we’ve decided to cut the bread out all together. from now on, we’ll just serve slices of meat and cheese on a plate.

we know that many of our loyal sandwich shop customers have been coming here for years to buy our delicious sandwiches. but some people don’t “get” sandwiches, and we need to try and appeal to them with an easier-to-understand meal format. we will no longer be serving sandwiches. all of our food will just be cold cuts on a paper plate. we love our customers and appreciate your understanding <3

Yes we know Craig's Cold Cuts down the street does cold cuts better than we do and has millions of customers. That's why we need to switch to cold cuts, to get their customers. We hope that our long-time sandwich loving customer base will be patient in this transition to cold cuts and welcome the certain influx of Craig's Cold Cut customers who will surely come here to enjoy our worse cold cuts with you, our sandwich-deprived customer base, whom we value so much.

(tearfully) i just want everyone to be a girl…m-my lesbian greed…it can’t b-be sated…

really humiliating trying to write horror like they went into the creepy house and there was a creepy ghost and the creepy guy with a creepy knife and everything was very creepy are you scared yet and thats like literally not how suspense and tension actually work but like all u can do is say well maybe something else was creepy?

How about Other people start worrying about how I perceive them

@funnier-with-narcpd

Anyway shoutout to John Williams, amazing composer and probably the one who made the other 50% of "holy shit amazing" soundtracks (Jurassic Park, Star Wars, Superman, and incidentally the original Harry Potter theme and score) who famously worked closely with the first openly transgender woman to be nominated for an Academy Award, Angela Morley. He respected her, and so far as I can see, has never made transphobic remarks.

whatever dude im retreating to my mind palace

tumblr is the new twitter

its never gonna be sloppy sunday anymore because of capitalism sorry

sometimes I reblog a post only to see the cool blog I’m trying to Get With also posted it further down and I could have reblogged it from them to keep up my months long wooing strategy of showing up in their notifications occasionally and now I gotta start all over

everytime I see art of chubby grace, grace being alright and supported being aroace, or grace breaking gender norms by wearing skirts or jewelry, something inside of me heals