I get easily obsessed :)

You try to pull the blanket off of yourself, and you realize that, it too, is made of chocolate. You try to shake it off, and step out of bed. Your carpet feels strangely spongy. You look down, only to realize it’s actually cake. Lovingly baked, and smelling of sweet fruit. You grab a piece, and cautiously take a bite. It is one of the most delicious cakes you have ever eaten.

You get up, confused, and exit your room to see if the rest of your house is like this. The door handle melts in your hand as you hold onto it, and covers it with dark chocolate carefully painted gold. The rest of the carpet on the floor is still cake, the guardrails on the stairs leading down are tempered chocolate, the tiles on the floor are the same, the windows are sugar glass, everything is edible.

You run outside, knocking over the lovingly crafted chocolate front door in a panic.

You realize, in horror, that your house was not an exception. The bushes, the grass, the asphalt on the road, the trees, birds, the world itself, is chocolate.

And oop looks like I'm ordering pants:

This will affect the trout population (a classic)

I’m gonna run away and join the circus

Fuck it, we ball (another classic)

The horrors persist but so do I (a third classic)

I’m gonna run away to Vegas

I’m gonna run away to New York/London/other large city near you

I’m too pretty to have this happen to me

The suffering is endless but so is my swag

2. Never use ace bandages/belts/tape/etc to bind.

3. Do not sleep in your binder.

4. Do not wear your binder for long periods of time.  I’ve seen 8 hours mentioned as the max amount of time.  Learn to read your body.  Some people cannot handle binding for even 8 hours but ignore the signs and injure themselves.

5. Whenever you take your binder off give a few big coughs, this well help to break up any fluid that may have settled in your lungs.

when i was young and stupid, I used duct tape to bind. NEVER EVER DO THIS CHILDREN. i couldn’t breathe, i could barely move, it cut into me so hard that sometimes i bled, it was so hot i got blisters, i would sometimes cry because of how much pain i was in, and it left my breasts numb in some places because of how tight it was. It killed nerve endings in my chest.

GC2B is pretty standard nowadays, they’re breathable and they go on and come off so much easier than Underworks ever did

Transtape is another option, this does NOT go all the way around your ribcage!!! It may be difficult to use if you have sensitive skin because it is an adhesive, to protect your nipples you fold a square of toilet paper and that on with a little piece. To put it on you lean forward, swoop ‘em to the side and stick (use more as needed) this can be used to go swimming and shower and is sleep safe*

DONT buy cheap binders off of amazon!!!! The materials will not move with you, they will restrict your ribs (and the sizing charts often suck ass) which means you can get hurt and will have to take a break from binding to heal!!

You don’t want to take a break from binding because it gives you the relief and comfort you need to function??? THEN PLEASE BE SAFE!!! The safer you are the more often you will be able to do it.

For those of you who can’t afford or cannot safely get a binder at this time:

sports bras are your friends, the ones without padding. Double up, one forward one back.

We all know hoodies help, but it gets hot as fuck in the summer

Compression shirt, they’ve got them for swimming and working out

"dad" I say, my eyes barely open "it's Colonel Sanders" while pointing down the hallway. He looks, and at the end of the hallway, there's a portrait of an old man, the donor who paid for the wing of the hospital I'm recovering in.

My dad explains as much to me, and goes "I mean the guy *kinda* looks like him, but why would Colonel Sanders pay for a hospital wing Mississauga Ontario? I think those drugs might me messing with you"

Then the nurse comes out of the room. I go "hey, who is that picture of?"

She looks at the portrait. She looks at me. She looks at my dad. She looks at the painting. She looks at me again.

"you don't recognize the Colonel??"

C'Mon, You Know You Wanna...

Cut to two weeks later Shane loses a skate blade and the commentators are wondering how he's going to deal with it - no team mates nearby to give him a lift. Will he do an undignified hop? Crawl? The opposing team start to attack bc Shane's on the other side of the rink from the bench so they think they have a 5-on-4 while Shane scrabbles his way back to the bench. Shane executes some flawless single leg power pulls and gets to the bench in record time, surprising their opponents and leading to a Montreal goal.

This gets held up for years as an example of their differing techniques and how seriously they take the game. Commentators say it shows Shane's dedication, his focus on every tiny bit of skill that could help him. They also use it as proof of Shane's hockey robot persona and that Ilya is more of a people person, he builds camraderie, his team mates love him etc.

Years later they talk about it and Shane tells Ilya that while he did know the technique, he purposefully practiced it to death in the two weeks between the games so he wouldn't get caught out like Ilya.