Local Insomniac

[the most low energy you have ever seen me] we’re about to go crazy mode

It's actually super unethical to keep a peeve as a pet

yes!!! thank you!!! I hate when people do this, it's one of my uh... one of my... oh no...

I WAS BORN YESTERDAY. I JUST BLEW IN FROM STUPID TOWN. THIS IS MY FIRST RODEO. PLEASE BE PATIENT WITH ME.

"🥪" is shorthand for "🍞🧀🍅🥬🍞"

can you people stop reblogging this my notes look like lunchtime

pussy understander so they call me cliterate

Human bodies are so weird like the upper half consists of every single vital organ and the lower half is legs

complimented a womans clear raincoat this morning and she said Well i feel like a sandwich

they should make a sleep that feels like you’ve slept

men really be like “well this woman has studied this subject her whole life, and i am a man, so we have equal knowledge on this”

it’s ok you could have just said “i hate men”

okay, i hate men