GOOD THINGS ARE COMING!

You losers like rick and morty, while I like em thick and portly

heroine of a gothic novel (me) in a long diaphanous nightgown (oversized boygenius t-shirt and no pants) holds her candlestick (3 year old iphone that gets concerningly hot when the flashlight is on) aloft to light the shadowy corridors of a sprawling manor house (modest 2 bedroom apartment) in search of the source of a mysterious, dreadful warbling noise that pierces the night (dog’s water bowl fountain clogged with kibble)

lesbians on this site will post “i need to smoke weed with this bitch”, and the picture is of Janice muppet. 

i really hate the way the "boobs vs butt" thing got broken down into this implicit idea that butt is the nobler stance. it's really stupid. personally im a woman guy. [realizes how that sounds] [purses my lips in thought] [nods confidently] im a woman guy

Bloopers are movie aftercare and it’s fucked up that we got rid of them

The age of writing DUMP HIM in the women's restroom stall is out, the age of writing TRY TESTOSTERONE in the women's restroom stall is in

If you become friends with someone they might offer you shelter or sources of protein

whoever had big time rush playing at the walmart speakers please demand a raise I’ll back you up