Home of the angriest and flightiest bears

I love how the episode is called “Chidi Sees the Time Knife”  but it has no bearing whatsoever on the plot

i love markarth. really really love markarth

you cannot act ethically in markarth. if you buy a steak at the market you're a cannibal. if you visit the museum you're funding a shady academic's unsafe research expeditions. if you save a woman from being stabbed you're aiding and abetting an imperial spy. if you give a beggar money you end up breaking into a temple. if you think the haunted house might be fun, well,

Lost it at the rock's tweet

I’m not sure which is funnier. Stanley Tucci saying that Ryan Reynolds is a sexier bald man than Prince William when he has a full head of hair, or Stanley Tucci saying that TILDA SWINTON is a sexier bald man than Prince William.

I think what’s funnier is the Rock, a very notably hunky bald man, declaring that Larry David is the sexiest bald man alive

i love this suez canal thing because it’s as simple as that. most news requires so much context and explanation and now? the boat is stuck. that’s it baby, that boat sure is stuck. let’s unstick that boat if we can, it needs to not be stuck. fabulous

Everyone says who you first marry in skyrim says a lot about you but i married that homeless guy in windhelm the Once Honored guy w the bald ass head bcs I read that unless u do he dies in the civil war and so i married him thinking i could divorce him on friendly terms and help him get back on his feet  but you cant get divorced i learned too late and he keeps asking my DB for a gold coin every day despite living in her house and yelled at meeko and then i met serana and fell in love thinking i could marry her if I got old baldy out of the picture bcs he never even changed out of his raggedy ass robes anyway so lure him into the small room in lakeview manor and close the doors so the kids dont see and one hit mercy kill him but the kids hear anyway and start screaming and the bard hears too and attacks me and I have to kill the bard and the kids are still screaming. but every time i come back the bodies wont despawn so theres just my dead homeless husband and bard in the house making the kids cower in the corner so i cast reanimate and try to walk my husband outside but that just makes things worse bcs hes making those zombie moans and as SOON as i load outside the door he turns into a giant ass zombie ash pile and goes “thank….. you….” so the rest of the game I just had my dead bald husbands goo ashes right on the front steps of my home and Seranas not even marriable 

trial by combat is such a funny concept. if youre not guilty then beat my ass

If you're truly righteous God would have blessed you with some hands

we come to tumblr bc we were all told we’re offputting in real life

wheres that 4chan screenshot about being a chad irl but i have mental illness so im stuck here with all of you incels

The fact the Black Mamba is the most deadly snake in the world continues to be hilarious to me

are you seriously telling me it’s not even black

@dragon-in-a-fez The inside of their mouth is black and shaped like a coffin when open, which makes it very goth and cool, but otherwise they do look like very bland noodles lol

COFFIN WHAT NOW

THIS SNAKE IS LITERALLY BULLYING ME INTO LAUGHING AT THEIR JOKES

people have pointed out that the belly scales on both pics look like bad video game rendering

that looks like someone tried to reconstruct a snake from memory

have you or a loved one been diagnosed with asshole? you may be entitled

i forgot what i was saying mid sentence but this may actually be the best joke ive ever made

My brains is so strong. Holy shit another  THOUGHT IS COMINGGGGG HHHH RAHHHHHHHHHGHHGHGG