The easiest way to explain what's wrong with me is:
I'm an extremely awkward woman in her mid-30s and the only one of those things I know how to be is extremely awkward.
cherry valley forever
Monterey Bay Aquarium
Peter Solarz


Andulka
noise dept.

if i look back, i am lost
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
Jules of Nature
Misplaced Lens Cap
Claire Keane

⁂

★
Stranger Things
official daine visual archive
sheepfilms

ellievsbear
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d e v o n
wallacepolsom
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@tsukinoinaba
The easiest way to explain what's wrong with me is:
I'm an extremely awkward woman in her mid-30s and the only one of those things I know how to be is extremely awkward.

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getting emotional over this meme
Texts From Superheroes
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Mondays, amiright?

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So I just simultaneously did, and possibly didn't lose my job today :)
Very much did in the sense that I literally do not know where my job is at the moment. But, for the time being I haven't been let go because nobody else including the store owner knows where it is either.
So, I don't wanna risk doxxing myself by posting pictures but goddamn am I tempted because this is not a believable event. This is a cartoon problem. For looneytoons.
But yeah, so, I work(ed?) at a kiosk selling boba tea, right? Freestanding kiosk in the mall with full water and electrical hookups and multiple fridges and sinks and a mini kitchen and the works. Fully functional tea shop. Very important to note that it was there last night, The work chat was discussing another issue last night at closing time. I'll get back to this.
It's been showing signs of being on the way out with how business is being handled lately and I've been considering other options, which is probably why I'm not as torn up about this as I should be, but maybe it just hasn't set in yet, but that's not the point. The point is there's been a lot of shit breaking and not being replaced and nobody mentioning anything about it until I walk into work in the morning and have to figure out why shit like the fucking cash register isn't there today. So I'm kinda used to having to ask questions about big things that nobody bothered to update me on. I was out for two weeks recovering from a surgery, so I came to work this morning assuming there'd be some kind of bullshit, yeah?
So, the question I had to ask the chat this morning was:
Not a text I ever thought I'd have to send in sincerity, but there it is. Because what I found instead was a fenced off patch of discolored tiles and a few holes in the floor where my entire place of employment used to be.
And the answer? Nobody knows! It was there last night when the mall closed, and every single trace of the structure and all its contents including drink making supplies and our safe and cashbox was gone when it opened again. And when I say nobody knows, I mean everyone from last night's closers to the actual (former?) owner of the store jad no fucking clue about this until getting that text from me this morning. For once I am actually the first to know. 🎉.
So. I guess I didn't so much lose my job as had it stolen. Not by AI, but good old fashioned hands-on human beings picking it up and carrying it away somehow. All mall security would tell me was that they were instructed not to tell me anything and have us contact our management. Who also don't know anything. And later on I came across some construction workers around the gravesite of the kiosk discussing filling in the holes, asked them about it, and was told that they "weren't at liberty to say".
So, not only is my job gone in the most literal physical sense of the word, but it was taken in some kind of super secret kiosk extraction in the dead of night without any warning or witnesses and nobody is allowed to speak of it. The store owner said she was gonna figure it out 10 hours ago and still no word back.
I don't know what else to say aside from I've been laughing all day and I'm gonna have a hell of a time explaining Schrodinger's Unemployment to the benefits office.
Update that is not an update because I'm basically certain this isn't what actually happened:
My mother in law thinks the FBI took it.
Not any of the other stores around the state. Just the one little kiosk.
Why? Because she loves a conspiracy and is just a little bit extra.
Also because she was around for the massive crackdown on Yakuza-owned businesses in Waikiki (in her homestate) that did actually involve the FBI seizing stores (no confirmation of making kiosks cleanly disappear in the middle of the night though).
Still no word from my job on what's actually going on, but the most likely theory so far is that maybe the kiosk was on lease and got repossessed? The mystery continues
(also shout out to the person who proposed Carmen Sandiego)
ACTUAL (partial) UPDATE:
According to the owner, based on what she's been able to find out, the kiosk was not removed legally and they're starting a potentially long process of legal action. I hope she gets to sue the shit out of whoever did it but for now at least I know for sure I'm unemployed.
Really hoping for more details in terms of who/why/how, so I'll keep updating if I learn anything.
For now the summary is: An unnamed entity that is most likely mall management (on account of mall security cooperating with them) stole an entire kiosk and all the contents including money and machinery with barely a trace in the middle of the night grinch-style, with zero warning or explanation, and ensured the silence of both security and the construction crew, in an action that was definitely preplanned and illegal, and as far as I know nobody knows its whereabouts.
So now I'm officially out of a job. Because my workplace was literally stolen in the night.
Actually fuck it let's share some photos cause I wouldn't be inclined to believe this myself. It's not like anyone can stalk me at my job now and I'm not gonna have to see any coworkers that might find my tumblr.
Enjoy the unintentionally funniest text I've ever sent in my life
Aaand a close-up:
The last remains of a once Very Much Solid And Immobile Workplace
HEY HI HELLO THIS ONE'S MY FAVORITE
via @kagaminilen
[cut to a kiosk on legs, sipping a boba, while wandering into the nearest forest on chicken legs]
Here you go @a-bit-too-dyscrasic
Oh my goodness you're my hero this is so beautiful
Holy fuck my job got fan art
hey. is this yours?
HOLY SHIT
edit: I should clarify this isn't my kiosk. my kiosk was probably taken out in pieces and most likely by mall management. but it's an extremely funny coincidence
SMALL UPDATE
Still haven't heard back from the unemployment office, but a few days ago I ended up telling this to the SNAP caseworker, who absolutely lost her shit and then put everything on hold to go investigate this herself out of a sense of justice and Needing To Know More. World's most nosy angel who helped me out a lot in general (in case she ends up seeing this: I appreciate her so much).
While she didn't find a facebook listing for a used kiosk (yes, that post is just a coincidence, I'm sorry), what she did find was the actual kiosk for sale. By the owner. On a reputable website.
Now, there are a lot of funny conclusions to be drawn from this, but I'm afraid it's not quite that wild. I asked a friend in management about it and turns out the listing is from months before the disappearance, it wasn't kept a secret, it just wasn't relevant. She had been trying to sell it for a while without much luck, wasn't selling the entire business, but just the kiosk with that branch included (the listing advertised that it would include the equipment and drink recipes and retain the current staff). It also said the lease with the mall was active until some time in 2027.
So, no, as funny as that would be, the owner did not heist her own kiosk. However, what this does tell us is:
She must have owned the kiosk outright, so the only way this could be a repossession is if she had a mortgage on it? I guess?
It definitely isn't about the lease being up. So any eviction would legally require like 30-days notice and, presumably, a valid reason like a violation of the terms. (this is how it works with renting homes in my country, and I've never rented a business location, so I can only guess that it's similar)
The store was not financially beneficial enough to keep. This could just mean that she was focusing on other ventures like she says in the listing, but it could really also mean that she was having money trouble and couldn't afford to keep the location.
SO. This leaves the most likely scenario being that the owner was behind on rent, and the mall manager (who has a history of being outta control and pulling shit like this, as well as harassing asian businesses and our shop specifically) decided to illegally remove the entire kiosk about it.
Still no confirmation at all about anything, but I remembered the listing today and realized it gave some additional clues.
Also, sorry to go asking, but I'm gonna slip my ko-fi link in here because both final checks and unemployment are taking much longer than expected, and I had to move apartments very suddenly (like found out the day after losing my job kine sudden), which is burning through my savings too. The job market in my region is absolute dogshit right now and I'm partially disabled so I'm kinda freaking out. Everyone's struggling right now so if you're enjoying the story but can't donate please don't feel guilty, I also like sharing the laughs.
Post Vento Aurero
mista:
giorno:
mista:
giorno:
mista: so did you actually drink that piss or what
trish: did he actually fucking what
mista: wait did he never show you the ear thing? giorno show her the ear thing!
giorno: -folds his ear into his head without a single word and with all the casualness of someone turning a page-
trish:
trish: what the fuck
trish: alright whatever what other weird shit have you guys done
mista: i dont know what haven’t you told us giorno
giorno: …im the one who killed polpo
trish: who
mista: THAT WAS YOU!?!?
So close
Isekai only instead of waking up in a fantasy world it's the real world and I'm suddenly 33 years old
That’s… that’s called a coma
Wow, my magical destiny is about to begin!
alternatively it's the comedy movie 13 going on 30.
Trinity Glassfille
Can't believe BBCF is getting updated after like 10 years

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onimai but in the uma musume universe so Mahiro becomes 12 years old AND a horse
Family in Buffalo genuinely just asked me if I would rather go to “Adolf’s” or “Nine Eleven” for lunch and they were being completely sincere
favorite word?
hmm... good question. I'd probably have to REALLY think about it to be sure, but off the top of my head my favorite I'd have to say my favorite English word is: Sarsaparilla.
it's just fun to say.
and then, if I may be indulged, my favorite Japanese word is Henshin because I'm a giant nerd.
mr president another dril tweet has manifested itself into reality

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stage 3 dialogue is so freaking funny
Whenever Americans use Cryillic like. That. I just. Instantly shrivel up an cry
Like idk how to tell you this but н isnt h and и isnt n
It’s true and you should say it.
Я isnt R
Р isnt P
В isnt B
If you want to explain, what does it mean then? 0.0
н makes n sound,и makes ee sound, я makes ya sound, р makes r sound, в makes v sound
you mean, like, ня?
oh no. It can be made with Cyrillic now
WHAT HAVE YOU DONE, YOU SHOULDN’T HAVE EXPLAINED
OH. GOD.
THATS SO FUNNY