why must I be trapped in a corporeal form

found a snake on youtube that legit gets angry and strikes at its owner's laptop whenever markiplier is on the screen

Tofu the snake! the owner has been running several various experiments based on people's thoughts/theories in the comments, like showing an edited image of Mark (it took Tofu a few minutes to recognize him, but once they did they immediately started trying to attack him) and even bringing in other snakes to see if they react too (none did). so far the consensus is that Tofu just really fucking hates Markiplier

I like this site. Y’all just shotgunning counterfactual timelines

The most PATHETIC lil baby sounds...

I love when little creatures who are entirely loved and well cared for have the BIGGEST baby reactions to normal things. Like yes sweet pea, you DO have the hardest life of anyone ever, for sure, and you’re SO BRAVE about this minor inconvenience of *checks notes* having some water touch you

There is nothing sadder and more pathetic than a baby marine mammal having to get into the water. They are suffering the most out of any baby animal ever. How dare they be introduced to their natural environment.

being a kid and hearing adults say stuff like "woah 2011 was 4 years ago haha" didn't really convey the fucking horror of a youtube video crossing my recommended labelled "9 years ago" and it's from 2017. that's not true. 9 years ago is 2010 or something. don't lie.

you should get a second evening for reading fan fiction. And you should get an extra day in the week to do arts and crafts.

i love how alcohol bottles dont have the nutritional facts on it like fuck you just drink it

if you are a parent, or may become one, or you are otherwise likely to arrive in the situation of caring for a child while they eat, promise me this: if a child doesn't like a certain food or food group, you will ask them WHY. and specifically, you will pay attention to either confirming or ruling out "it makes my mouth itch" or "it makes my stomach hurt," both of which are medically important info that children may not provide unprompted. which i know because this PSA has been brought to you by "i spent my entire childhood and much of my early teens eating peas and lentils while wondering why everyone else liked the Violently Itchy Mouth Sensation so much, like were they a bunch of legume masochists or something, before i finally realized that Violently Itchy Mouth Sensation was in fact a sinister demon appearing only to me, and her true demonic name was: Legume Allergy"

Do not let your child suffer from spicy bananas!

Found my husband’s baby book. OBSESSED with an image of him, newborn baby, on what looks like a large white comforter, alone, with the caption New Guy In Town. Obsessed I tell you.

˙ʇɐqʇᴉnɹɟ ɐ ǝɯoɔǝq oʇ pǝpᴉɔǝp ǝʌ,I