slime wizard

cannot stop saying "what is that, an elf's green penis? see you tomorrow chef!" to myself every time i do a rough job cutting scallions

they're having some kind of bad extasy trip bog margarine incident over on reddit

thanks for making time for an interview for this managerial role overseeing the microsoft 365 team. what really stood out to us about you - and what rocketed you to the top of our list - was that part in your cover letter where you described yourself as a “sick fuck” who “would stop at nothing to see the microsoft 365 suite of products reduced to a functionless, pale imitation of their 2007-era predecessors” and that the user should “toil fruitlessly as they navigate a completely bewildering interface while being forced to ruminate on how they own nothing and instead rent increasingly expensive useless vapor.” when would you be available to start?

you ARE a good dog. you DO deserve a large hamburger.

dj desert rot wants everyone dessicating in the club tonight

the amount of single use plastics that our society produces is actually so upsetting to me because all those petrochemicals could have instead been used to power my terrible machines

Kids nowadays are cheating on their assignments by using ai? Back in my day we didn't have that stuff. All we had was this fair skinned and long haired boy called kevin that had these really puffy nipples and we all copied his homework. He kinda disappeared after high school, but sometimes I see his sister Katherine around. A real beauty I will tell you. I guess he's in jail or something cause every time I ask her about him she stutters and avoids the question. I miss Kevin, I really hope he's ok. So I guess what I'm saying is that we didn't have ai, but we had- I had Kevin. I pray for him every night

Me golf commentating: These are evil, evil men... they have done wicked deeds to be here today. There are no winners today-- Beautiful drive there. Right onto the fairway.

you guys gotta stop deactivating your blogs cause you're making it harder for me to go back in a reblog chain to remove the annoying additions