Proud 2 B Nerd

Like. I’ve always sorta understood that things grow moldy or stale or sour or such if left out, but I never really internalized it in a meaningful way.

But now I’m just like.

Yeah. The hungering dust. There exists omnivorous dust in the air that will eat my food if I don’t.

Those bagels have been sitting there for a week. Are we going to eat them soon or are we leaving them for the hungering dust?

Pizza’s been sitting out on the counter for an hour. Everyone’s enjoying the pizza, but if we don’t want “everyone” to include the hungering dust then we should probably put it away soon.

That’s just. That’s how food works to me now. There exists an invisible predator in the air that hungers for your yummies, and it will not hesitate to eat your food if you don’t make the effort to protect and preserve it. And eat what can’t be preserved before the dust can.

“go bad”, it just gets eaten

by something else first

This Tumblr post is the first time someone has explained to me *why* I couldn’t feed them before those instances.

every single time i have had to say, "i understand that if he had food or water, he could aspirate it into his lungs under anesthesia. i am not lying to you." THEN someone would make a little note and i would stop being repeatedly asked.

not a single time was that risk explained to me. the only reason it came up was because i already knew. i still don't understand why it isn't standard pre-op counseling or pre-op check information, when me as a parent acknowledging the actual risk also put THE MEDICAL STAFF at ease because i conveyed that i had informed understanding as reason to not lie about giving my kid food.

Level 2: We shouldn't treat mental health facilities as objects of horror because it stigmatises mental illness.

Yuri, her brother, who Yor loves unconditionally and she raised him on her own. Yuri absolutely is struggling to not be dependent on Yor. He wants to become a child around her as an adult to some extant. He's internally conflicted about it as chapters go on, and especially as this arc shows he's not in denial but still frustrated. He remains over the top, and for a while I did think it was almost like a bit. But he physically dies over Yor telling him "no, you're an adult, also i want to cuddle with my husband"

But then, Loid is just the foil to Yuri in the other direction. Loid/Twilight is so independent. That's part of his trauma and who he is and how war shaped him. His perfectionism is literally giving him stomach pain but he fears without perfectionism he'll not survive. Yor wants Loid to have depend on her, but he says "i'm not perfect enough as a spy" mentally. He's running away from Yor being intimately caring of him but also his body fails to follow his brain about it.

Yor is then stuck in the situation of, with Yuri, having a brother who won't stop bothering her even though he's older and can take care of himself. And Yor doesn't want Yuri to rely on her anymore, because what would the parenting have all been for?

And, with Loid, who she asked to continue the marriage. From Yor's perspective, Loid is the man she chose to be with -> she wants to take care of him, and her reasoning is perfect -> he's the first man who has reciprocated emotional needs she never realized she had. She wants him to fall apart, so she can do his laundry and make him breakfast at least once in a while. She loves him. And she has agency and can set conditions on this love for Loid (especially for when the eventual reveal may happen) unlike her inherent unconditional love for Yuri.

But Loid is currently trying to avoid all of that, because his childhood had parents and friends dying, father telling him he's not good enough, and just the lived reality of being a war orphan. Getting into a relationship is dangerous to his fragile emotional security.

Early on in the series, most of Yor's quieter moments were her not knowing who she even is. "What do i want?" "What does it mean to be normal" "why cant i be normal and connect with others?" "Why am i still doing this"

The Cruise arc was her finding a new purpose outside her brother. And as the series has gone on we have seen Yor grow to love and do things for HERSELF, and not just others. She loves spending time with Anya, she pushes herself to learn how to cook and actually enjoyed doing it, she trains with becky, has better relationships with her coworkers, and has friends she regularly gets together with.

And shes slowly falling inlove with a man who makes her happy and loved.

To a point where shes regularly putting boundaries with Yuri, the person she prioritized everything over, and telling yuri to leave their place or that she wants to cuddle with her husband. How much like Twilight started the series "for the mission" everything, Yor to a lesser degree was doing a similar "for my cover story so that my brother doesnt learn im an assassin". But now her motivation is how she wants to keep this fake relationship going, not for yuri, or for her cover, but for herself. Because shes found this man shes falling inlove with, and this daughter she adores, and she doesnt want to lose that. Infact she wants to be even closer, she wants it to be REAL.