Proud 2 B Nerd

the real challenge of adulthood that no one tells you about in advance is how many goddamn pieces of paper you have to keep up with that are never important until they are suddenly VERY important

Look. I understand the funny hyperbole of responding with knife emojis or "i will kill him" when speaking about someone who has annoyed you. But if you are saying this in a public place, maybe consider how your joke will be received if the person you are talking about sees it. Because some people will interpret your jokes as actual threats. And they won't be entirely unreasonable for doing so.

Official Post of Massachusetts

Now, one might look at these numbers and be lead to believe that half of all tumblr users don't read posts. However, in the replies to this post you will find over a hundred users who will happily clarify to you that actually the reason why they voted the way they did isn't cause they didn't read the post but actually because they didn't bother to look at the words in the post and process them as language, a technique commonly referred to as reading the post.

I used to get really bad nose bleeds but sometimes could feel when they were starting. One day in middle school this guy in geography class wouldn’t shut the fuck up about that conspiracy theory that Delaware doesn’t exist, so when I felt one coming on I loudly interrupted the rant our teacher was inexplicably allowing to derail the class by saying “if you don’t stop I’m gonna have an aneurism!” The guy of course just kept going so a second later a small torrent of blood gushed out of my head and, being a dramatic bitch, I collapsed face down onto my desk into a nice little puddle of blood. Anyway apparently outside of intense Roman Senate-esque debates, these stunts apparently induce panic attacks in educators and end up with you getting lectured about how traumatizing it is for your classmates when you “fake your death for dramatic effect”

I believe this falls into the "I don't think people should be punished for objectively funny crimes" category.

no this is the hill YOU die on. because i’m gonna kill you for disagreeing with me

From a scientific perspective, there's no such thing as a vegetable. The term vegetable is a purely culinary distinction.

And they’re all Vlad

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Orgasm denial. Orgasm anger. Orgasm bargaining. Orgasm depression. Orgasm acceptance.