F 飛 L ぶ Y

cat brains are so small but they fit so much bastard into them

i have 100% posted this before and i 100% will post it again

your work is appreciated

It’s 1:30 am and I’m cackling like a deranged witch

@sassy-dad

tearing bread apart and handing it to someone else is so… spiritual and intimate

lets give this bread

it is so strange to me when people tell me they never had an ancient egyptian phase…like, what did you even do during your childhood? 

this is oddly specific?? and over 3000 people relate???

That egyptology book was too golden and shiny to resist

Children, collectively: crow brain says shiny and full of secrets. Gotta know.

i have never heard anyone not sing that one line in little lion man by mumford and sons with absolute relish like everyone really enjoys just shouting you really fucked it up this time and i dont blame them

hey its me pandora, welcome to my new unboxing video

oh my fucking god

They fused the chaotic energy of Florida and Scottish twitter for a deadly one two punch combo that killed me

million dollar idea: instead of spending thousands of dollars on steady-cam equipment, filmmakers should just attach a camera to the head of a chicken and carry the chicken around as you film.

cannot. stop. laughing.

Lizzy.

if i was a pirate captain i would get a movie projector and play a movie on the big sails every friday night for my boys to kick back and enjoy some time off unless we were under attack

Pirates legit did the 16-17th century equivalent of this. When things were slow, they would put on plays, act out dramas of stories they knew, or freestyle. The most preferred model of original productions was courtroom drama: “trying” each other for piracy. The “accused” would list off their many, dramatically and humorously embellished crimes, and be equally dramatically sentenced. Sometimes there was a daring escape, sometimes just a really maudlin death scene, but a good time was had by all.

As we all suspected, pirates are theater nerds.

i am SO SICK of unhappy endings. idk about anyone else but the #1 reason i like fiction is because everything can always work out no matter how bad it is. “what if the good guys lost” shut up. you are so fucking boring. give me happy endings or give me nothing

wish pokemon was real so i could move to the country and farm mareep in peace

They’re called… sheep…

can your sheep do THIS [gets electrocuted]