fashy bashy

the devil said it's lindsey graham's turn today to speak with mitch mcconnell for 20 minutes

*"A TEST OF YOUR REFLEXES" followed by the sound a dodgeball makes when it hits you*

check out the mourning doves’ new single “hooOOOO hoo hoo hoo” if you get the chance. sound of the summer.

when i was a kid i decided that killing people was bad therefore war was bad therefore the military was evil. and adults would tell me it's more nuanced than that and i would understand when i grew up. well i'm a grown up now and idk i still think that killing people is bad and war is bad and the military is evil

i tried explaining to this girl at a party once how i could be gay and asexual at the same time and it basically boils down to never being into anyone but like once a year i’ll find a man attractive. and she was like “so what am i if i only like girls, and i’ve never found any of my boyfriends attractive and and i just wanna do cocaine all the time?” i was like “you’re a lesbian with a coke addiction?” and she was like “woooooah”. she broke up with her boyfriend that night and had a threesome with two girls in the bathtub. rebecca if you’re out there, i hope you’re going places. well, not far, since you’re electronically tagged. but spiritually.

dude honestly shout out to my guards i told them to seize this guy and before i could even finish my sentence they soze him. My goats

if i do something wrong they kill me

i see that you media addicted louts have filled your tomodachi life islands with video game and movie characters instead of great leftist thinkers

if you go looking for doom and gloom all you will see is doom and gloom. if you go looking for reduced items at the grocery store you may find a littol treat

worst part about the Internet is knowing that there are finally people who both match and complement your freak. the nearest one is 2,318.4 miles away and your time zones are awkward

it’s your duty to draw that character fatter than in canon