tilting at windmills

imagine living somewhere flat….with like……almost no hills…..what do you guys do for fun get picked off by birds of prey or

i tried to be her star pawn...but she treated me like property, brother

My entire feed is 20% damn there was a shooting at the White House and 80% CHEATED??? ON MEGAN THEE STALLION????

Megan Thee Stallion listen to me. You have to cheat back. I'm free any time for you. Please

if you hired a galapagos finch as a linecook it would perfectly evolve a beak to optimally smoke cigarettes behind the dumpsters

Reading this post renders you unable to get legally married by Cocaine Bear

Reblog to render your followers unable to get legally married by Cocaine Bear

you cant fucking hurt me bitch im protected by the migratory bird act

Please, I just want to know what your migratory flight path is, I promise I’ll release you after I give you this bracelet that will insanely up your game with the ladies

bitches love me for my bright and colourful leg band

have you guys ever seen a crocodile with its fingies out

“This is from an obscure avant garde European musical from the 1980s. It’s based on a book of late Modernist poetry. Please sing along if you happen to know the words.” —me trying to lead a singalong of Mr. Mistoffelees

“eldritch horror beyond your comprehension” and it’s just a generic monster with tentacles and eyes

girl I’m comprehending you pretty easily you’re gonna have to try harder than that

in my dnd setting the most eldritch of creatures is an ape that is impossibly wide. Whatever room you're in, this ape is wider than that. Imagine the widest room you can imagine. This ape is wider. It's other proportions remain the same. His name is Wide Ape.

everyone go home we got a winner