Heart Shaped

it’s quick, it’s easy and it’s free:  pouring river water in your socks

why would i do that lmao

it’s quick, it’s easy and it’s free

A cat is a machine that turns proteins into violence.

OH MY GOD MY CATS HAVE FANART

*fondles you all over with my hands* i am manipulating you

yes she's a total manipulator. she sort of moved my limbs around like a doll. i hear she interacts with physical objects using her hands often

nobody says this but they should. if no hands are involved it's not true manipulation

it's just sparkling lying

Went to a reptile meetup today at a local mall where there were plenty of big snakes and iguanas and other big intimidating reptiles and this girl was just watching the whole thing in silence with her hands closed up (as if she’s holding something) then one of the hosts saw her and pointed at her asking her if she had any reptiles, so she just quietly looked down at her hands and opened them up and there was the smallest most adorable yet ugly little baby leopard gecko just one McDonald’s sauce big everyone (and I mean everyone) erupted in awwwwwwwsss

The notes are broken. This is what tumblr is all about apparently.

World Heritage Post

there’s a friday ass vibe about this wednesday boys keep your wits about you

brat tamers are funny wdym you’re turned on by getting ragebaited

brats you aren't safe either you get turned on by someone thinking you're annoying

Made a lowball offer on eBay as a joke and it got accepted. uh oh.