Heart Shaped

"on god's green earth" is way too fun to say even when you don't believe in god and know most of it is blue, actually

For you my friend? A mere three morsels of cheese and one singular crumb of bread

Can we stop with the character development. Where's my beach episode.

the phrase "this machine kills fascists" has gone through enough layers of meaning that I think it's come all the way back around to where the funniest thing you could put it on would be a gun

Tchaikovsky at the cannon store:

Just Marlon Wayans bullying his son in public by presenting a hate crime as funny; this is the state of American comedy.

Intersex I hardly know h- wait no that doesn’t work

Swallowing glass just to stay pure

if you put my name and your name together you get mayonnaise also please don’t swallow glass

[ID. A social media status: I'm a mid bitch w a bad attitude and i'm going out tonight. Hide your man I don't wanna see him /end ID.]

do you ever just like. feel unbelievably proud of someone you’d never even heard of previously

oh my god