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@alpharaposa
979 Nendoroid White blood cellďźNeutrophilďź

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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I think that if you had enough daughters AND played your cards right you could spring Mambo Number Five out at the EXACT right gathering and shatter your entire family's trust forever
The secret is to name them out of order with the lyrics so by the time anyone catches on it's too late
For me personally the ideal gathering would be my funeral
A little bit for Monica, she's my wife
A little bit for Erica, for her strife
My books all go to Rita, cause she reads
My greenhouse goes to Tina, she plants trees
The furniture is Sandra's, on my lawn
Jewelry for Mary, she can pawn
Ashes go to Jessica, that's my plan
A little bit of me inside a can (ah!)
Reddit guy trying for Robin kids energy
If I were an evil emperor in a fantasy world, I would have a an enormous aviary full of exotic birds that are exceptionally well cared for. They would be from a distant enough land that there would be very few people in my kingdom that knew much about them, they would be a friendly but not overly territorial species, and moderately intelligent. Like puffins. They would not, crucially, be able to imitate sounds and 'speak', but they would be very trainable and curious. Occasionally importing new birds for my aviary would be the Big Frivolous Indulgence that my political enemies make fun of.
I will also have a sorceror in my employ. When a hero or a renegade or a political rival is in a situation where I can safely kill them, they will instead be turned into a bird and added to my aviary. I would not brag about this; it would be a complete secret, known only to me and my sorceror. In situations where I capture multiple people working together, only one would go in the aviary;the others can be imprisoned or killed or whatever. If they escape and I reacquire them later, another one can go in the aviary. The point here is that nobody going in the aviary can safely assume that another bird in there is their teammate.
Because I would be trickling real birds in there, too. And I would train some of them to do 'intelligent' things like tap out prime numbers or scratch shapes into the dirt with their beaks. I would train some of them to pick at the locks and bars as if they were trying to escape. I would not train them all the same way, or train many of them at all.
Sometimes, a new bird goes into the aviary -- fellow revolutionary? Or just a bird? Is it trying to communicate to you that it's human, or just being friendly and imitating you because that's what smart friendly birds do? People would develop opinions and theories over time. They'd amass in a group of the smartest ones, pretty sure that they're closest four or five friends are humans, are using their invented little language of wing-flaps and trills with a human mind behind it... but can they ever really be sure?
Most people, when going into the aviary, would assume that all of the birds are captured enemies. So why are some of them hard to have ongoing communication with, to learn about, to plan with? Are these the natural communication barriers of someone in a bird body, or does being a bird make them stupider over time? Will that happen to them also?
Sometimes, if I capture a pair, I'll imprison them separately, then turn one into a bird and put them in the aviary at the same time as a real bird that's trained to have a couple of their partner's mannerisms.
When I interact with the birds, even in private, I won't secretly mock them or make clever veiled references to their past or act at all like I remember that they were once human. They are my birds, that I imported at great expense. And I've brought a treat for them; some fresh fruit, and another friend to share it with! A new bird!
Or is it?
Hey Derin what the fuck
#on tumblr thereso many 'if i were evil' ideas that aren't evil. and then there's this guy. 10/10 villainy. would scar an entire generation.#full villain approval
Look, Evil Emperor is a high bar. Empires are pretty evil by default so if you want to earn the title of Evil Emperor instead of Normal Emperor then you've really gotta put the work in. You can't just do normal greed and oppression and slavery and outright theft and then blame your victims for it, every empire does that, even the ones that pretend they aren't by calling the slavery and theft by some different name. If you wanna be an Evil Emperor then you have to get creative.
If I were an evil empress then I would execute people via an esoteric mind blast power where I'd lead them into a room and burn away their personalities and memories until they were an empty vessel and then send them home to their families, newly innocent and pardoned, where they'd have to be taught who they were and how to live from the ground up like a baby. (Or abandoned, I suppose, depending on the family.) Except I wouldn't actually have any such powers. I'd have a shapeshifting power that I'd use to turn my enemies into a piece of furniture and turn that piece of furniture into them, then send home a polymorphed candlestick or whatever for their family to dote on while my enemy goes on the table to hold candles for the rest of their 'life'.
Derin, respectfully, what the actual fuck.
People are always saying this to me
Does it count as 'sword in the stone' if it looks more like 'sword in the cairn'...?
Does it count as âsword
in the stoneâ if it looks more
like 'sword in the cairnââŚ?
Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.
you ever hear a new song and immediately go âoooh the fake scenarios in my head are gonna love thisâ

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no way in hell
hey stop being funnier than me on my own post
late night reminder to self: your depressive episode will not last forever. it will have an end. tonight will not be the end of you.
Hey guess what i saw this a few days ago when i was in an absolutely scary slump and then i spoke to my counsellors and did what they told me to do and now i feel so much better. So this is true. Reblogging for more good luck
why is this so beautiful in like a space way
thereâs wip (active development) and wip (stuck in development hell) and wip (oh youâre not even getting funding for this one)
Write it badly or it'll never be written
Write it badly or it'll never be written
Write it badly or it'll never be written
Write it badly or it'll never be written
Write it badly or it'll never be written
Please keep interacting with this post because when I come to tumblr to procrastinate, this shows up again in my notifications and guilts me into writing again
If anyone wants to know what a leopard seal sounds like đڎđЏ
Leopard Seals are what happens when god needs a lizard and all he has is a mammal
I'd recommend turning the sound on. The seal is not screaming. It's not very loud at all, actually, but the noise it's making is Much Worse.

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I think a lot about who I am to other people in the worldâparticular who I am to strangers as a mere concept in their lives.
Today this woman called our information desk and said, âmy sonâs band is playing tonight. I want to come see him, but he never answers his phoneâŚ..I want to be there. Have you heard anything about his band?â
And I felt so bad for this lady but Iâm not in the music scene around here so I had to tell her no, sorry.
Five hours later, Iâm hiking and run into a group of guys setting up for some outdoor performance, and as I watch them unload the drums it hits me.
âHey,â I said, âare yâall in a band?â
They said yeah and smiled and I told them âone of your moms called today. She wants to watch you play, but she canât get a hold of you. Call your mom.â
And they all pulled out their phones and started discussing whose mom it probably was as they presumably dialed their own.
And now, unless we meet again and recognize each other, thatâs who Iâll be forever to those guysâsome mysterious courier for mom-messages who came out of the woods and told them their mom called.
I didnât even tell them why their mom called me. Who am I to their mom?? Nobody even asked. They just took my word for it and called their mothers.
Amazing.
IâM LAUGHING!!! THEY DIDNâT EVEN ASK WHO I AM.
JRPG where the teenage firebrand protagonist is taken under wing by a wise older mentor figure in their twenties, as one does, except the third party member to join is in their thirties and regards both the protagonist and the initial mentor as dumb kids; the fourth is in their forties and thinks the same of the first three; and so forth.
Luke Skywalker in The Mandalorian but itâs Toxic by Britney Spears
Iâm gonna propose something: if your combat/ass-kicking sequence canât fit to a top 40 female-vocalist Banger like âToxicâ or âMama Miaâ or âI Need a Heroâ youâre not Doing It Right.
At this point its starting to feel like Editors are using 140-150bpm as a standard for action sequences, and I cant say I hate it.
I agree wholeheartedly with every point above but I watched this first with the sound off because I forgot that was an option and what struck me most is how efficient Luke's lightsaber style is. Almost every flourish he makes and all of what, 2 entire spins?, is defensive to better parry blaster fire while nearly every offensive swing he makes is basically a head or chest level kill shot. If I had to make a guess about his character I'd say this vintage twink has probably Seen Some Shit and maybe comes from a background where resources are scarce and help is far away so if you get in a fight you have to end it before it starts or you're dead meat
deeply want a time travel fic where Luke visits the old republic and the Jedi are like âthatâs not a dueling styleâ and luke is like âyea am not doing much dueling tbhâ
Why so many wolf attacks in fantasy. Where are the Boars. The immortal and humongous Boar
Die temu ad die
Hmm. Accidentally looks like latin.
It accidentally is latin
Accidental latin is my new favourite thing.
Found this in the margins of a medieval manuscript.
This is a very charming illustration and I do approve of Accidental Latin, but unfortunately, that is not what this (Fake) Accidental Latin actually says. Google Translate seems to think "temu" is identical to "timor" (infinitive, "to fear"), which would then be conjugated in first-person singular as "timeo" ("I fear"). "Temu" is not a word in Latin. So that is a very weird leap on Google Translate's part to turn gibberish into... something vaguely etymologically similar sounding? Hmm.
Next, "die" does mean "day," though nominative singular is "dies," i.e. "dies irae." It could be conjugated "die" if it was in ablative or locative case, but "die ad die" would mean something more like "day to day." "Ad" is in a "to" direction and "ab" is from, i.e. "ab urbis," and ablative case is used to indicate the movement of a thing. In short, "by" is not really a way to translate "ad"; we might want "per" here? (Through, by means of, etc.)
Not to mention, it would be weird to put one "die" at the start and another at the end The verb also usually goes at the end in Latin sentences, just for that extra bit of fun. So yes, in short, this is not actually Latin, and Google Translate is very bad at Latin in particular. Nonetheless, still charming.
@theshitpostcalligrapher
Agree, @qqueenofhades, except on the matter of breaking âdie ad dieâ apart. Itâs a common structure in poetic and oratorical Latin to jam one phrase in the middle of another. I canât think of an example exactly parallel to this construction, but I could believe a Roman poet would write it!
Ah, that is true. My Latin is of the reading-medieval-documents (particularly charters and/or chronicles) variety, where the sentence and usage structures are often more formulaic and there is less poetic license to move words around. There is obviously far less fixity for word order in Latin, since the conjugations explain how they grammatically relate to each other rather than placement in the sentence. (Coincidentally, this is why I used to say that the best feeling in the world was walking past a Latin classroom and not having to go inside it. Ahem.)
So yes: true that poetical Latin might be more at liberty to split the "die"-s up that far, though "timeo" (verb) is still more likely in most cases to go at the end, which would place them together anyway ("die ad die timeo," "day to day I fear" if translated in strict word order, which would make sense to an English speaker and sound more poetic anyway). Keep in mind, however, that my Latin is a) fairly rusty and b) mostly used for said formulaic legal document reading rather than freeform verse, so don't super-hard quote me on this.
I saw that ablative âdieâ and that final -u on âtemuâ and thought of the ablative supine (as in âmirabile dictuâ) but as you observe, there isnât a verb that âtemuâ could be, and then also, the ablative supine requires an adjective, as far as I know.
But perhaps âtemuâ is a hapax legomenon (in which case we would need the rest of the text to gloss it) or a scribal error for temeratu, from temero, âI defile or disgraceâ. In that case, and in true Tumblr form, I might translate it as âdaily I disgrace, in the manner of the dayâ, with some errors attributable to the scribe.
....oh my god. You might be a genius. Because what else does Tumblr do but daily disgrace [itself, oneself, and/or numerous others] in the manner of the day, and make numerous scribal errors.
how dare you say we error on the scribes
this is what happens when you buy your latin on temu

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GLaDOS voice: "Would you like to see some artwork I generated? I've heard from other test subjects that AI-generated artwork produces an uncanny valley response in human viewers because they can't perceive it as fully real. They've told me that it looks absolutely hideous to them, that they can't imagine anything more disgusting than AI art. But, well I've been practicing and wanted your honest opinion. Feel free to let me know how ugly you find this by ranking it on a scale from 'vomit-inducing' to 'eye-bleeding'." A robotic arm lowers from the ceiling holding a hand mirror up to Chell's face
my actual vampire hot take is that if you're going to be a 'vegetarian' vampire (a vampire that only drinks the blood of animals) you MUST have hunter education. i'm so sick of people being like oh well predator animals are mean and scary because they kill cute 'harmless' animals like NO they're crucial for the environment and if you're going to hunt animals for blood you still need to stick to regular people hunting guidelines and only hunt things that are in season and abide by your areas bag limits
vampire that did a detailed study about whether vampires can get prion diseases and concluded they can't and preferentially hunts animals with chronic wasting disease. and then incinerates the corpses.
vampire who is a woke predation abolitionist and so exclusively hunts predators, leaving primarily herbivorous and scavenging animals alone
"For miles around the foul creature's lair is nothing but barren wastes"
"because of The Curse?"
"Because of the deer and rabbits, fucking thing ate all the wolves"