the rage is simmering on the back burner

being on the other side is so heartbreaking bc this person wants something from you that you cant give them, and it feels horrible to tell them that and watch your friendship crumble because they yearn for something you cant even imagine and you feel like its your fault for hurting them.

honestly its an aro comfort watch, i highly recommend it. its also really funny

They aren't attracted to the person they are having sex with, but they are aroused by whatever is occurring within the sexual scene.

Sex favorable aces don't just have sex because their partner wants to have sex!!! Some sex favorable aces do seek sexual stimulation with other people for their own pleasure!! Big surprise! Shocking development!!

bookbinding adventures continue! this time with project hail mary.

this amazing cover design is by @aroarolibrary, go check out the original! I've been wanting to do this book forever (like. a month) but didn't have any ideas. saw aroace flag cover. had to make it immediately. so thanks for sharing the design and making it easy to recreate!

Welp, you all won’t believe what I stayed up to 2 am working on!

Anyway, have an aroace themed Project Hail Mary cover. I tried to keep a good chunk of the OG cover design (because I actually really like it) and just added in some fun additions to it~

They’re finally coming to good use

He answers: I believe that whoever created the concept of soulmates should be taken into the town square and beaten to death. Or you should tell me who they are so I can send them a check for a couple of hundred thousand dollars, because they have done more to facilitate the demise of happy marriages than I could ever aspire to doing.

The concept of a soulmate to me is absolutely bizarre. To suggest that out of eight billion other people in the world, that there's just this one person, and they happen by the way to live within like the same town as you, where they went to the same university as you - what were the odds of that? And that's the only person you could ever have a happy, fulfilling relationship with. That's insane, folks. It's insane. And by the way, it's toxic. Because here's the thing: when you get married, society essentially tells you, this person, they're supposed to be your best friend, best lover, best roommate, best travel companion, best co-parent - that's a hell of a resume, guy. Like, it'd be shocking to find someone who fits all three of those things.

So what happens when you have this concept of a soulmate? And my partner, you know, they're the best co-parent, they're the best roommate, the best travel companion, but you know, they're not the best lover I ever had. Well, they mustn't be your soulmate then. That means that there's somebody out there in the eight billion people, that they would be the perfect one. And that's what the horizon that just forever recedes and keeps people constantly craving the next thing that might check all of the boxes. It's dangerous.

Surgeries require having a designated person to look after you. Many injuries require driving to somewhere like an emergency room which can be hard to do if you are the one injured. If you're home with the flu, it's hard to tell when it's bad enough to go to the hospital without another person checking on you. And if you pass out it requires another person to find you like that to get medical aid.

If at home is out of reach of a phone and has a heart attack, a fall, a stroke, a freak accident: they are not getting help until someone finds them.

If someone lives home alone, it may be a full day or more before help comes. Most emergency conditions are fatal by that point.

But if you're married, your spouse will probably notice if you get up in the middle of the night and never come back to bed. They are more likely to hear a sudden fall, or to at least find you within a few hours when they come home from work. They may notice strange behavior that may indicate a stroke, and if they notice in under 24 hours it may be reversed.

Someone living alone having a stroke may not be able to leave their bed. They will not be found until someone comes looking for them. Their work will assume they're ditching, and only call in for a wellness check if they think that's out of character Classmates will assume they're sick or something came up. Maybe they call their family once a week and the lack of communication will be noticed.

But someone who lives with you will notice you can't get out of bed and will call you an ambulance.

Getting paid leave to take care of a sick roommate isn't often allowed, but if it's your spouse or significant other, your employer is more willing to accommodate that. Bereavement leave is for close relatives not friends or roommates. You can connect your spouse to insurance. Your sibling, parent, and bestie don't qualify.

There are a lot of very specific ways in which marriage specifically is accommodated that benefit all those involved in ways other relationships aren't recognized. Living with anyone changes things from living alone, but there's more going on than just that.