Wicked Witch Of The Rest

Bruce’s office at Wayne Enterprises is probably full of framed pictures of his kids, but every time somebody tries to use them as a conversation starter, it backfires wildly. Bruce has too many children, and he is Exhausted™

“Are these your sons? They’re very handsome” “Their sister just sent me video of them getting into a fistfight and breaking two of my windows, but thank you, yeah, they’re good-looking kids”

“No that one doesn’t smile for pictures. This is a candid from after his brother fell down the stairs. He’s laughing”

“Yes, that’s Jason [grits teeth] [sets aside newspaper titled ‘Red Hood Levels Mayoral Office’] We miss him every day”

Anytime Tim needs an excuse to run off and superhero, he invents a “family emergency” where Damian got injured doing something childish. Damian can’t tell anyone Tim was lying– that would jeopardize their secret identities– so he has to put up with concerned adults asking if he’s okay now?? Has he recovered from that bike crash?? Did he thank Tim for driving him to the emergency room??

And since my hearing aids aren’t synched for when I replace the battery, the left hearing aid will go off one afternoon, and I’ll know that the right one will go off the following night.

Yesterday afternoon, I replaced my left hearing aid battery.

Now it is tomorrow night. Now I sit, and I wait, for that monotone-ass motherfucker in my head to yell “BATTERY” in my ear, again leading to my gradual heart failure. It is only so long before my heart cannot take this repeated occurrence of panic.

I sit.

I wait.

Luke Cage: Yeah, there’s some good people in Harlem but I’d rather be left alone. I mean if someone starting shit, ill finish it but - whoops, I’ve adopted a neighborhood. 

In New Zealand, there is a man legally known as ‘The Wizard’ who is an educator, comedian, magician and politician. Some of his political ideas include:

Abolishing old-fashioned gender roles

Travelling to find the “center of the universe”

White men get offended if you talk about feminism.

White men get offended if you talk about rape culture.

White men get offended if you talk about islamophobia.

White men get offended if you don’t feel like talking to them or if you don’t agree with them.

White men get offended if you ask for trigger warnings.

White men get offended if someone chooses to stay seated.

White men get offended if a woman doesn’t want to shave her legs.

White men get offended because I’m not saying “most white men…”