This will probably be uncomfortable for all of us.

This is the one song everyone / would like to learn: the song / that is irresistible:

the song that forces men / to leap overboard in squadrons / even though they see the beached skulls

the song nobody knows / because everyone who has heard it / is dead, and the others can't remember.

Shall I tell you the secret / and if I do, will you get me / out of this bird suit?

I don't enjoy it here / squatting on this island / looking picturesque and mythical

with these two feathery maniacs, / I don't enjoy singing / this trio, fatal and valuable.

I will tell this secret to you, / to you, only to you. / Come closer. This song

is a cry for help: Help me! / Only you, only you can, / you are unique

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vimes did not resign from his post in protest, observe the rest of the watch resign from their posts in protest, recruit them into a militia, sail to the country they were at war with, and attempt to arrest two different armies for disturbing the peace so you could sit here and call him a drama queen, as though drama was some myffic quality bestowed by an accident of birth and not the inherent right of every creatively petty and histrionic citizen of ankh-morpork