You shall pass, actually

Reviews are either 5* or 1* with surprisingly little in between, and the business owner replies are always a riot. They start off fairly normal, talking about the food and drink, the couple of guest rooms upstairs, the location and prices etc, but then they start to get weird.

Constantine leaves 3*, beer is shit whiskey is ok not haunted which is more than I can say for most london pubs and the response is Thanks Jo, but you're still banned

4* this place is run by my history professor and it's amazing but he asked me about my overdue essay three times so I can't give it 5* and Hob, who has had multiple students visit the pub for the sole purpose of doing this, is just like you still haven't submitted that, get off yelp and start citing your sources

There are multiple 5* reviews like would give 10* if i could, the owner chased off a neo nazi with a literal sword he pulled out from behind the bar

5* should probably give it less because a couple of times the answers to the history round on the monthly quiz night have been wrong, but otherwise it's a solid little place for a reasonably priced pint and a nice afternoon and Hob's response is just those answers were right

And then Dream comes back and the reviews start... Changing, a bit

One of the 1* reviews is just complaining about the fact that there was a bird at the bar and no one got rid of it and the reply from Hob is that's Matthew, he has a tab. Several of the 5* reviews are also about the fact that sometimes there's a bird in the bar

One of the 5* reviews is saw the most beautiful goth twink in the world, will definitely be going back and Hob nearly deletes that one. The reply instead is that's my boyfriend, unlike Matthew he never pays his tab

5* i have no idea how i got there or found the place because i swaer i was halfway across london from where google maps says it is but anyway the bartender was really great and understandig when I started crying on him, will defiantely go back if reality ever warps like that again. Response from owner: yeah sorry about the reality warping, we don't get it either

help me move out of my tiny car and into a vehicle like this!

i'm disabled and homeless, and while i'm in the process of getting approved for disability, i need more safety and stability.

with a larger vehicle like these, i could have enough space to install a kitchen, bed, electricity, shower, etc, and essentially make a home out of it. if you've ever wanted to help house a homeless person, please consider donating to my fundraiser!

the goal is 10k, but vehicles like this sell for much cheaper! as soon as i can, i'll purchase a suitable vehicle and start the project immediately. i'll use whatever i don't spend buying the vehicle for maintenence it might need, the tools and materials i'll need to convert it, plus the legal stuff surrounding registration, first year of insurance, etc. anything still left after that will be used to just allow me to live longer and have a safety net while i get income.

this is something i've been dreaming of for a long time, and as the housing market gets crazier i've realized it's probably the only way i'll have a stable home. i've been researching this project for years and i'll have some helping hands, so your money will be used well to create a home for me.

we're on pace to get me into a van by the end of summer or early autumn, and i could finish the conversion before it starts snowing! this is way sooner than i ever expected. please consider donating, and/or boost this post to keep up the momentum!

GFM

once i have the van registered as a camper, i'll be able to legally sleep in a variety of places. sleeping in a car is a risky thing and never truly safe, but with a camper i'll always have a chance to be legally parked (plus more security in general). please help me out 🙏 i'm tired of living a paranoid life

they start talking to a human and the human is like "haha yeah that's a crow!" and the alien researcher is like "you called it a 'bird' earlier, is that a different name?" and the human is like "oh a crow is just one species of bird, there's like, 10 others out there"

"On this planet?"

On Earth, the inhabitants are just. Playing and walking LITERALLY STEPPING ON CARPETS OF ORGANISMS the whole time. the aliens are like "it doesn't hurt them??? Can't you just...move them to a place where you don't have to step on them?" and the humans are like "no of course not, grasses evolved to tolerate being stepped on, and besides, more plants would grow there if we tried to move the existing ones"

Alien: I don't understand...why would you not place the solar farms in an area of the planet with no existing ecosystem?

Human: ...what?

Alien: You have rather sophisticated protective gear and have done some space exploration, surely you could establish them in an area of the planet to which life is not yet adapted?

Human: ...there isn't one.

"I don't think you understand what I'm saying. Only 25% of Earth's species have been formally described, at most."

"that's...that's most of them."

"Yes?"

"Well...I suppose the ocean trenches and abyssal plains must be difficult for you to reach...where did you have to travel for your discoveries?"

I really like what this physicist, Lamar Glover, has to say in Behind the Curve. 

+ this part from Spiros Michalakis:

Quote by physicist LAMAR GROVER:

“Truthers, flat-earthers, anti-vaxxers… when we leave people behind, we leave bright minds to mutate and stagnate. These folks are potential scientists gone completely wrong. Their natural inquisitiveness and rejection of norms could be beneficial to science if they were more scientifically-literate.”

Quote by Dr SPIROS MICHALAKIS:

Examples: drinking is a personal risk. Drinking and driving is a public risk. Going scuba diving is a personal risk. Running a scuba shop with faulty equipment is a public risk. Riding a bicycle without a helmet is a personal risk. Not maintaining public transport safety standards is a public risk. Foraging for mushrooms is a personal risk. Advertising a mushroom identification app that uses shoddy AI is a public risk. Elective surgery is a personal risk. Not wearing a mask in a doctor's waiting room when you are sick with a contagious illness is a public risk.