Terrible, Beautiful Sparks in Space

How do you know you're not Asexual? Maybe you just haven't met the right nobody.

Hookup culture is so convoluted these days and I don't meant that in a way that is dismissive of the act in of itself but rather that you used to be able to just have a few drinks with a girl and then she'd put her eggs in you or vice versa nd then maybe you'd stack colored pebbles together for a few hours but nowadays she always has to try and poison your wine which I suppose I can't really complain about because I also try to poison hers while slipping antidote into mine but she does the same so we get mad at each other and grapple for a while and then she stings me with her stinger or injects venom into me with her fangs or what have you and THEN finally gets to the oviposition. It all just feels a bit overcomplicated to me and you can't even stack colored pebbles afterwards because you're still paralyzed from the venom

interview with the masquerade

vampire: the vampire

"X is a threat to Western civilization-" okay so first of all, your automatic conclusion that "the west" is fundamentally a force of good in the world that we should aim to protect and reinforce makes me wanna punch you

Sorry I started sobbing uncontrollably when you expressed the slightest concern for my lack of human connection, and casually mentioned you think I deserve better than a life of isolation and loneliness. Super weird. Not sure what was up with that lol. You still think I’m cool and mysterious and sexy, right?

They should invent a cat who doesn't want my baked beans

They should invent a cat who doesn't want my corn chips

Why is he a beautiful golden-eyed sculpture

You've heard of parallel play, now get ready for perpendicular play.

Hot cross buns?