[insert witty quip]

one thing about me is that I'm looking stuff up. you mentioned something and I don't know it? I am pulling out my phone and googling that shit. an actor? theoretical physics? a world leader? a vocabulary word? I am on the wikipedia page as we speak

closes my eyes. july will change the world. begging. it would be so funny. just imagine

the sewing machine is like if a horse and an inkjet printer had a child

sex is when i kick you in the stomach with my boot as hard as i can

they love me because I be saying shit like alas and perchance

last night I said 'how fortuitous' unironically

me about any album I’m listening to at any given moment: holy shit. This may be The Album of All Time

i love to drive i was born to drive. im the king of da highway

never post again

ryland grace is aroace. however he is also stratt’s dead wife, rocky’s red string of fate starcrossed soulmate, & intensely violently homosexual for mark “simon iron lung” iplier. all things are true & all things can coexist. peace & love on planet erid

missing someone is crazy because you’ll have dreams that r like “we went on a nice walk together :)” and you’ll wake up feeling like you’re gonna throw up

humiliating to be attracted to a conventionally attractive person. I thought I was a more sensitive and refined pervert than this