Now, Avatar: The Way Of Water... Three fingers, no eyebrows, plus their fins and their stronger builds. Fine. Then why are their neuronal queues not on the of their heads like other Na'vi? Why is it on the bottom of their skulls?

Buckle up kiddos, because this is a wild ride.

It's the summer of 2009, I'm 7 and a half, and I go to the Montreal Children's Hospital for surgery, to get a tumour removed in my stomach. After a few hours, everything goes well and I can return home.

For the specification, I am high as fuck on morphine and just wanted to eat cherry popsicles. And then, a genius idea comes into my half-empty mind. I go grab our extended edition of The Lord of the Rings. Now, I'm 7, and I had never watched LotR before, the first movie came out when I was 2 months old. My mother and step-father at the time had never watched it while I was there, as I was aware of, so my eyes were totally new to this. I was intrigued by the green, red and blue "books" in our DVD library.

You may think that I had made my "discovery of a lifetime", and that it changed me. Not at all, I'm high, freshly stitched up and eating cherry popsicles like there's no tomorrow. I blacked out for the majority of the runtime. The hobbits? Thought there was only one. It wasn't Frodo, Sam, Merry or Pippin, there was one hobbit and it was none of them. Remembered Gollum. Boromir was non-existant and so was Gandalf. May have forgotten Gimli, had a few glimpses of Aragorn. But the main attraction (pun may or may not be intended) was Legolas. This man This elf. Oh boy. I don't know how I would have reacted at that time, if it was during The Hobbit era, with the Elf trio™ as Legolas, Tauriel and Thranduil, but I may would have lost my mind. Cried when Haldir died because I thought it was Legolas and got confused when I figured that he was alive and well. I couldn't recognize faces as a kid, still struggle with it today.