Alaska Floats

You’d think that once you finally get long term access to a cat and your yearning to have cat access is fulfilled that you’d become slightly less obsessed with seeing people’s cats but no if anything it gets worse

Wild caught clownfish will be like ‘hm you see, the anemone you got me is a slightly different color and tentacle width than the one I had back home, so I will not begin hosting it. I’ll be a sort of wandering ronin for the rest of my days.’ And then a captive bred clownfish will be like ‘ok so I have this curved rock I found and I just sit above it and it take care of me 👍’

When you meet Edward Elric he gives off the impression that he's the short-tempered hot-headed "violence is the answer to all life's questions" kind of protagonist, and it's in fact incredible character craft that he's actually the character who ends the series with a negative-3 kill count.

God's worst soldier Edward Elric. Showed up as the youngest member of the Amestrian army, took millions of dollars from them, never followed a single order, helped dismantle their fascist regime, left with a lower kill count than he arrived with, then fucked off to go be a house-husband. Character of all time.

You know, when you said "negative-3 kill count," I, who haven't seen the anime, thought, "He resurrected 3 people?????" But I'm seeing here on the wiki that apparently resurrection in this anime is a terrible idea.

Official addition to this post.

Tumblr did not “Goncharov” Poob. Poob is Glupp Shittoing Tubi/Pluto/Roku Channel/Hulu/etc.

none of these words are in the bible. or the dictionary, for that matter.

#While this is a joke#For the etymologists out there#Tumblr did not “goncharov” poob#translation: Tumblr is not making a fictitious thing called poob that we insist is real#Poob is glup shittoing (streaming services)#Translation: Poob is now a generic name for whatever streaming platform is out there when you don't feel like naming something specifically

Etymologists are on Tumblr for the same reason Primatologists are out in the jungle: It's where the Monkeys are.

Glad to see we’re all in agreement that cats talk like disparaged victorian children

I am so incredibly glad we finally moved on from "i can has". Cats are clearly smart enough for advanced sentence structure and dumb enough to draw entirely incorrect conclusions about what they're talking about.

Can haz snackytreat

i don't say this very often so you can trust me when i say for the love of god please unmute

Audio description: Very loud trilling purrring.

Very important kitty noises

I think your cat is probably a dove

Does anyone know what to do about the temperature and also the prices

All fantasy authors wish they had a bigger bathtub in their house. You can tell by every bathing scene ever written into a fantasy novel

the tension between the genuine cleverness of the joke and the incompetence implied by putting it on two-sentence horror is what makes this for me