the name's alanna

these all have the same energy

“i dropped the damn frog and despite the fact that we fell all over each other no one could recapture it”

bro you don’t even know.

Though my favourite research bullshit story comes from a girl I met in university. Her thesis is on clove oil for pain relief and finding a way to make 99% pure clove essential oil for this purpose. They keep running trials but are getting 60-80% pure no matter how they calibrate the machine. Students being students decided to sneak into the lab at night and try make hash oil with this machine cause I think 25% is the most you can get even getting the extra potent medical kind even now. So students were like imagine even if it only comes out 60% we can get so high. While they are getting it ready to run and make super potent concentrated hash so literally one drop would get you high, someone dropped a glass vial and cut their hand on it bleeding over the machine. They cleaned up the blood and ran it with the cannabis and got 99% pure thc oil. The machine worked how it was supposed to. To hide evidence of having run weed through it they made a batch of clove oil and sure enough 99% pure. She told the prof she had an idea last night to try to get the machine working that still didn’t work but she had cut herself accidentally on some glass and bled on it a bit and she had run a test worried she broke the whole machine and it was 99% pure. The prof tried and again 99% pure. The machine just needed a blood sacrifice apparently. It was noted in the paper something about “additional lubrication of the (part of the machine that was bled on) was required to yield desired results following calibration” was how I broke into a lab to make hash oil on university equipment, bled over it, and somehow it worked to fix the problem was put into her paper.

chelsea peretti’s opening monologue at the tenth annual tech crunchies

Marie Kondo, fading back into the darkness: I love what you’ve done with the kitchen!!

got mesothelioma at claires

some highlights

I’m like O_O ……….

there is nothing like the sweet freedom of complete nihilism experienced at a 7/11 at 2am, God lives in church, the randomness of the unfeeling universe lives at aisle 9 of CVS