Oh ! de quoi souffres-tu malheureux, errant solitaire et pâle ?

"you wouldn't want that in real life" yeah i know it's called playing pretend, try to keep up

i don't really want to weight in on the "using big words in your writing is ableist" discourse happening on tiktok because i'm like 90% certain it's an anti-intellectual psyop to stir up drama in online circles to promote the use of ai to summarize literally everything and thus feeding the LLMs and lowering the populace's mistrust of such tools but i also have to say: dictionaries and thesauruses are the most accessible they've ever been. if you use an e-reader of any kind you can look up a word without leaving the page. there's a plethora of online dictionaries and if you just type a word + "meaning" into google it'll usually give you a definition. we used to have pocket dictionaries we used when reading in class. i have two on my shelf right now that i used in high school. stop letting the fascists purposefully misuse anti-ableism rhetoric to trick you into never thinking again.

fun fact one of the world champions in pepper-eating contests is a trans woman and she actually faced significant backlash because people somehow thought she had a biological advantage. to eating spicy pepper

update bc i went back and checked: her name is brianna “the chilli queen” skinner and she set a record in 2017 by slamming back 23 carolina reapers consecutively. she only stopped when told to by the referees, and the next year she stepped down out of boredom. queen

The championship, it should be noted, is unisex. Apparently being a trans woman gives you an innate biological advantage over both cis men and cis women.

The innate biological advantage of being cool as fuck

just showed the gate agent the Wikipedia article for Mussels instead of my boarding pass. don't text

Did you know that cishets fuck pies? Apple pies are their favorites. They'll see a freshly baked apple pie and fuck it right there on the table. Some of you will try to tell me that it was just a joke (that it was a scene from a teen sex comedy), but I won't fall for it. I've heard real cishets talk about getting a sexual enjoyment from creampies in real life too. They're sick!

liking a ship but disliking the distinct set of stock fanon that they have been assigned is like one of those punishments dante came up with when he wrote the worldbuilding for hell in inferno

it's always "you gnawed off your own leg to escape like an animal caught in a trap" and never "why didn't anyone try to help you out of the trap" or "why weren't you provided with any other resources to escape the trap with except for your own teeth"

"I just can't keep track of the characters in Gideon The Ninth" They are both numbered and color coded.

#if there are too many for you then just give it a hot sec

it has come to my attention there exists a subset of reenactors who go around renaissance faires "infecting" bystanders with the Plague. i wish to thank these heroes for their service

the US wants to run Venezuela through just a conglomerate of oil companies. this is pure extractive colonialism and imperialist aggression. not to like be iranian on main but. oil. it's always fucking oil.

white people appropriating aave is always irritating but specifically the use of "-ahh" like "goofy-ahh" "stupid-ahh" bro if you are not black just say ass. ass belongs to everyone, dumbass. are you afraid of cursing?? youre stealing the language of black americans cos you don't want to be caught saying a bad word like ASS ?

idk man I use it because I think it's funnier than saying -ass :P