cake

You were laying on the edge of the bed, you noticed, left leg hanging off the bed, toes cold against the worn out carpet, large shirt and the corner of the blanket a tangled mess around your waist.

The source of warmth laid behind you, pressed against your back with a heavy arm draped around your middle, his every breath ghosting over the back of your neck. The soft strands of his hair tickled your nape as you turned around in his hold, coming face to face with him and feeling the subtle way his arm tightened around you for a heartbeat as he also stirred from his sleep.

“Hey there, blondie.” words barely above a whisper, hand coming to rest over the side of his neck where his tattoos meet in a spiral, eyes watching his face, the relaxed curve of his eyebrows, the blonde eyelashes, the small dimples on his cheeks. “Are you planning to push me off the bed one of these days?” you huff out a laugh, the sound so delicate in the silence of the room, while looking at the free space on the other side of the bed.

Enjin’s lips curl into a smile, a quiet chuckle rumbling in his chest.

“Maybe you should stop running from me.” he says, voice low and raspy, his eyes still closed.

“You’re too hot.”

“I’m aware.”

With a roll of your eyes you presses your foot against his, the cold skin a sharp contrast to the warmth of the blanket that covers Enjin from head to toe and you let out a giggle when he jerks away from the touch. “Stupid.”

“Hey!” he lets out a dramatic gasp, feigning hurt but the way the edge of his mouth curls upwards betrays him. “Keep those icy feet away from me, i mean it!”

“What are you gonna do about it?” the tone of your voice is playful, almost teasing, a little glint in your eyes as you stick out your leg towards him again.

But Enjin’s quicker this time.

Large hands grasp your waist, tattooed fingers splaying out around your sides and back. His touch is warm over the thin fabric of the shirt as he drags you closer, hair tangled on the pillow as you lay on your back. Enjin’s leaning over you now, propped on his elbow next to your head while his other hand remains on your waist, warm, heavy and comforting, fingers drumming to a beat only he knows.

His eyes are open now, yellow irises staring down into your eyes, his gaze a little tired but full of adoration.

“Girl, you’ve got way too much energy for the morning.” he murmurs quietly before dropping back down, half draped over you, his face pressed against the crook of your neck, soft breath tickling your skin.

Your hand finds its way into his hair, fingers brushing through the blonde locks, thumb soothing over the scar on the side of his head, your other arm wrapping around his back, fingertips tracing over the lines of his tattoos over his shirt.

It’s quiet again for a moment, your breathing syncing with each other’s, before you presses your toes against the sole of his feet.

Enjin lets out a deep sigh, a groan rumbling in his chest and you laugh quietly, pressing your face into his hair.

“I hate you.” he mumbles agains your skin but makes no effort to move away.

You gently moved him off of you, redirecting large hands as they tried to keep you in your comfy prison. You were able to fool his sleepy form with a pillow, looking on fondly as he snuggled into it. You moved to get ready quietly, aware of the early hour, and went through your routine with glances spared towards his sleeping form. 

You went about your routine quietly before exiting the room and closing your door behind you, soft click seeming deafening in the early morning quiet. You quickly jotted down a note to leave for Semiu before making your way out the front door, arms wrapped around yourself against the early morning chill.

—-

Enjin remembered going to be with you. Like, 100% knows that there was a very warm body next to him when he closed his eyes last night. So excuse him for being a little irritated or perhaps, confused, as to why he woke up to a cold and empty bed.

“Baby?”

When he didn’t hear an answer, he got up, poking his head into the small sitting area sectioned off near the front of the room. No coffee had been started and he didn’t see any notes on the small table…

Where the fuck did you go?

He moved a hand to call on his choker but was met with a static noise instead of your voice. Wherever you had fucked off to wasn’t in range which immediately put his stomach into knots. The only times he can consistently remember a choker not working was being underground and there was zero reason for you to be there without him. 

Or any backup really. But mostly him. 

Deciding to trust whatever higher power, be it god or Corvus, who decided to send you out of HQ, he moved to start his own day. If his movements were jerky and more uncoordinated than usual, no one was around to see. 

———

“Rudo! You see where the better half went?” Enjin asked, scaring Rudo as he walked up behind him. Rudo turned his head to glare at Enjin, the antenna he was turning around in his hands now slightly bent from his grip tightening so suddenly.

“No?” Rudo supplied, eyes tracking Enjin as he conspicuously checked around the courtyard for you. As if you would drag him into a game of hide and seek without letting him know. “You sure she didn’t leave you or somethin’?”

Enjin sputtered and turned suddenly, finger pointing accusingly at the boy. “No?! Why would you say that? Did she say something?”

Rudo watched as Enjin sped up the length of the courtyard to grip him by his shoulders, big hands trembling and causing Rudo to tremble along with them. 

“Damnit, Enjin! Get OFF OF ME!”

“Not until you tell me if she told you she was leaving!”

“Why would she tell me?” Rudo asked, tone reaching hysterical as Enjin began to shake him roughly. 

“BECAUSE SHE KNOWS IT WOULD HURT ME THE MOST.”

Enjin continued to shake Rudo until finally the small antenna in Rudo’s hands glowed red and grew exponentially. Enjin was thrown back with a dull thud, umbraker clattering a few yards from where he had landed. When he looked back at Rudo, the antenna had formed a small cage around the boy, glowing hotly. 

“That’s a low blow, man,” Enjin complained, closing both eyes as Rudo stood up and started to move to get back inside HQ, cage disappearing to dust around him. “Rudo, why have you forsaken me?” 

Silence.

“Rudo?”

Silence. 

“OH CMON- NOW YOU’RE LEAVING ME?”

———

“For someone with commitment issues, you sure are clingy,” Riyo observed, watching as Enjin moped at the mess hall table. 

“Shut up.”

Riyo shrugged. “Just pointing it out! A man of contradictions, or just a hypocrite….”

“You’re the hypocrite,” he mumbled, turning his head so his face squashed against the table. 

Silence engulfed the table as Riyo considered the statement. “Well,” she started, “I’m not the one acting like my partner suddenly was abducted, and then complaining when she acts like you’re serious about a future together.”

Enjin tilted his head up to lift his eyes to her. 

“What do you know about that?”

“Girls talk,” she explained, moving some food around on her plate with a fork. 

“What? You guys sit up at night braiding each other's hair and talkin’ about boys?”

Riyo leveled him with a glare, green eyes sharp. “Yeah actually, we do.”

The room around them continued to buzz with activity, Riyo quickly redirecting any questions regarding Enjin’s current status. She was content to let him mope, more food for her. 

“But seriously Enjin, think about it,” she started, pointing her fork in his direction after taking a bite. “A little birdy told me that she has made it very clear how much she wants this to go somewhere, and a girl can only take so much. It wouldn’t shock me if she wants space and decided to take on something solo. Ya know,” Riyo tapped the fork to her temple. “Clear the air out.”

Enjin felt a jolt of anxiety crash through him, fingertips twitching. “... solo?”

“Yeah, small specialty jobs, we’ve all had them.”

“....I haven’t.”

“Because you’re useless.”

“...You’re on thin ice, kid.”

____

After deciding that staying at Riyo’s table just meant more ridicule, he moved on to find someone else to share his anxiety with.

He’d tried to rope Gris into his little cohort of misery but he said he was ‘busy’ with ‘a mission’ and that he ‘had to clean up Enjin’s messes’.

Whatever.

Zanka was the next easiest target, sitting in his room reading, of all things, when Enjin popped his head in. 

“Zanka, need a favor my man.”

“No,” came the dry reply, without Zanka even looking up from his book. “Riyo already told me, and I have no interest in dealing with this.”

Enjin pushed out his lip in a pout, nudging the door open further to allow himself entry into the room. “C’mon… don’t be like that…” He kicked and scuffed his shoe on the ground, tapping his toe and drawing with it on the ground. “Jus’ need you for like, twenty minutes. Max.”

“I said no.”

Enjin will deny it to this day but right then, when Zanka started acting like an elitist little brat, Enjin did in fact stomp his foot. 

“Why is no one helping? She could be dead! A solo mission?! Her vital instrument is a goddamned notebook! What’s she gonna do? Give a trashbeast a million papercuts? I don’t think she’s even ever trained defensively before-” 

Zanka sighed, loudly. “If you’re going to scream, can you do it outside of my room please?”

When Enjin didn’t comply immediately, assistaff roughly threw him out, slamming the door behind him. 

_____

To be honest, Enjin really did not want to bother Semiu about this. For starters, he wouldn’t hear the end of it, and also he was worried about her answer. Because he knew you were close with her, and he didn’t want to hear about you deciding to leave after realizing what a fuck up he was.

Not one to show vulnerability, he had a reputation to maintain. But damn it he was worried. 

Usually there was a call or a note or a message relayed through another cleaner but he’s heard next to nothing. To be gone for a morning without contact, yeah sure. But a whole day? Nah. Not cool. 

There was a pit in his stomach about it, a general bad gut feeling that had him sitting next to the front entrance like a kid who forgot their house key. It didn’t matter if he was getting weird looks from the others, or that he was starting to feel his lower back hurt. He was fucking worried. Bottom line, and needed to be the first person to see you when you came back. 

Womanizer or not, he wasn’t that big of an asshole. He can admit that he’s taken longer missions just to get away from you when you start to talk about ‘the future’ and yeah, maybe that would piss you off, but it always ended the same: you, him, and a bed. 

And the thing is, sometimes it wasn’t even about the sex. Sometimes he just liked to know that there was someone he could go to and be there. There were minimal expectations with the way things were right now, less room for disappointment. He’s fucked up more times that he could count and it’s been fine because it’s been so casual, so easy. Adding a label? You’re adding liability.

A liability he’s feeling regardless of your relationship because if you had decided to do something dangerous because you were pissed he was going to-

“Enjin? Why are you out there like an overly quaffed gargoyle?”

He looked up at the sound of your voice, taking in your form as you walked up to him. Enjin did a quick once over, eyes scanning for injury but only seeing your clean cargos and dusty boots in the same condition they were last night when you put them in your closet. 

You stood in front of him and bent down, ruffling his hair. “You okay? You look pale.” You moved the hand in his hair to feel his forehead with the back of your hand. He leaned into the touch, closing his eyes. 

“....thought you died,” he confessed, tone softer than a whisper.

You yanked your hand back. “What?”

Looking up at you, he blinked. “Riyo said you were on a solo mission.”

Blinking, you nodded once and sucked on your teeth. “Did she?”

Enjin nodded. “You’ve never even trained defensively.”

“Okay buddy,” you leaned down to offer Enjin a hand. “Let’s get you inside.”

Enjin took your hand and heaved himself up, only to wrap you in a crushing hug. 

“Not allowed to leave again,” he muffled into your hair.

“Well... not possible, I do have a job outside of you but I appreciate the sentiment,” you quipped, returning the hug. You gently pushed him back and looked up into his face. 

“Did you by chance ask Semiu where I was? The person I work with daily?”

Enjin shook his head.

“Okay,” you stated, tone flat, while you pressed the intercom next to the door.

“Hey Semiu, can you see outside okay?”

“Crystal clear view of Enjin’s pathetic self sitting by the door like a dog for the last 4 hours.”

You raised a brow. “Notice anything else?”

“... wait, you did add the ashy brown to your hair! I told you it would go well with your skin tone. That salon was worth the detour.”

“Aww, thanks lady! It’s so soft too, I’ll be by in a second to show you the products she used.”

And with a click, you stopped pressing the intercom and turned to Enjin. “Could have died, huh?”

“You were at the hair salon?” he asked, tone flat. 

You reached and patted his cheek before moving away and walking towards the door. “Could have died, huh? ...Glad you missed me that much.”

“I hate you,” he mumbled. 

“No you don’t,” you replied, watching him follow you to the door with his tail tucked between his legs.