me when i see an animal that is known for being in my area

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Not today Justin
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@ahappychicken
me when i see an animal that is known for being in my area

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KICK THE CAN!
Let’s play the biggest game of kick the can on the internet.
To kick the can, reblog it. I wanna see how long this can go on for.
the oldest reblogs for this post that i can find are from january 2nd of 2013. this can has been getting kicked around tumblr for almost 13½ years now
And yet somehow this is my first time kicking it!
Hero of Time
Mutuals feel free to pick me up and drop me off in front of prime real estate that’s all mine
I will be scared but I will appreciate it
The upside to the adhd forgetting that you made yourself a drink thing is thinking to yourself “man I could go for a drink right now” and looking to your right and seeing a drink has appeared there. Thank you, past me. I lost you somewhere but you have still provided.

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i like when a piece of media says that an all-powerful character "sees humans as insects" because that really could mean a lot of things. maybe they view us as insignifigant and will squish us under their boot. maybe theyre actually studying and cataloguing us for their thesis paper. maybe theyre campaigning for human protection because we're an important part of their ecosystem. maybe they see a human and go "ew ew ewwwwww someone get the cup and get that FREAK out of my house." .
Hey. Why isn’t the moon landing a national holiday in the US. Isn’t that fucked up? Does anyone else think that’s absurd?
It was a huge milestone of scientific and technological advancement. (Plus, at the time, politically significant). Humanity went to space! We set foot on a celestial body that was not earth for the first time in human history! That’s a big deal! I’ve never thought about it before but now that I have, it’s ridiculous to me that that’s not part of our everyday lives and the public consciousness anymore. Why don’t we have a public holiday and a family barbecue about it. Why have I never seen the original broadcast of the moon landing? It should be all over the news every year!
It’s July 20th. That’s the day of the moon landing. Next year is going to be the 54th anniversary. I’m ordering astronaut shaped cookie cutters on Etsy and I’m going to have a goddamn potluck. You’re all invited.
Hey. Hey. Tumblr. Ides of March ppl. We can do this
Hell yeah moon holiday
Ooh coming up we should celebrate
PITCH: We call it Moon Day, and then every 7 years when it falls on a Monday, that's an even BIGGER deal and we call that Moon Day Monday and go absolutely apeshit about it (the next Moon Day Monday is in 2026 so we have a couple trial runs first)
MOON DAY MOON DAY MOON DAY
moon day is 20th July!!!
Scheduling this a day earlier to remind you all and myself about the Moon Day tomorow!
Happy moon day to all who celebrate
This is your reminder to prep for Moon Day on July 20th.
I dunno what to tell you man, 4:30 to 5:00 is a shorter span of time than 5:00 to 5:30. I agree it shouldn't work that way. It's the cards that we were dealt with.
the magic growing dinosaur and the housefly (happy make a terrible comic day!)

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happy belated fathers day i guess
Last night I was talking to my boyfriend, and I couldn’t think of the word ‘library’, so I said ‘book ranch’. He thought it was hilarious and started making up alternative names for ‘librarian’.
“Cowbook! Like cowboy! No…Readcher? Like Rancher? No, fuck this is hard…”
and just now I heard him yell “BOOKAROO” from the other end of the apartment in the most triumphant tone of voice i’ve ever heard
@tales-from-the-library
Please address me solely as bookaroo from now on
me: *turns pages too loudly*
librarian: yer wanted fer rustling, pardner
let's put Scooby and the gang in a genuine horror movie situation, i wanna see what these freaks are truly capable of
"didn't they already do this with—" no. put them in a slasher film. put them in a BLOODBATH. put this van full of weirdoes in a Texas Chainsaw Massacre scenario i have FAITH in them
THEY'D DO WELL IN SAW
okay I'm thinking about this
not Saw specifically but a slasher with a legit body count. Summer camp slashers are overplayed but I think it really works because it's the type of thing the Scooby gang WOULD get caught up in.
like some of the counselors didn't show up (got got) so the head counselor calls his younger cousin to see if him and his friends can fill in last minute. They show up and they're a bunch of nerds, one of them even has an anxiety dog, and they don't have a big role at first. It seems like the movie is setting them up as cannon fodder.
and then the deaths start and suddenly the nerds are locked the fuck in. The little one with the glasses actually fixed the phone line and is taking stock of all their supplies in case the vehicles go out. The counselor's cousin who seemed like a himbo has set up a perimeter and made makeshift alarms for all the doors and windows, knows all the entry points. The anxious one and his dog are keeping the mood up with the snacks and activities that were supposed to be for the kids, making sure nobody panics and starts making dumb decisions. Somebody tried to grab the redhead and she flipped him over and had him zip-tied before anybody noticed. Weren't they a D&D group or something? What is happening???
Fuck the slasher movie just effectively becomes Home Alone but with Four Kevin McAllisters
Bro's fucked.
art by Daviddv1202
at one point the kid with the anxiety dog says, "man, why does this keep happening? this is, like, the eighth time thid year!"
it's barely June. abruptly all the normal councilors understand a) why he has an anxiety dog, and b) why the dog has anxiety too.
Reminder that top speed for Shaggy is canonically the same top speed as a fuckin' great dane.
Slasher is flat out chasing after this kid, finally gaining on him, when suddenly he speeds up and starts going 30 miles per hour.
the sarilings

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Went to go see the movie bout some pretty amazing digging
this was my favourite part
Just realized what "Everything Stays" and "Despite Everything, It's Still You" have in common.