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Oh dear lord and now the PTSD. I need like... my uncles hands to be surgically attached to my arms so that at least my brain can recognize the touch as safe person touch and not complete stranger touch. Ive had visible goosebumps the entire time I've had my hand here and I feel like 23% less anxious just with this already but the fucking PTSD is a bitch and is ruining this
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Man, all the other dialogueless-indie-platformer-where-you-walk-from-left-to-right-as-things-get-increasingly-fucked-up protagonists get cool intros. All busting out of glass tubes and falling from the sky into huge piles of corpses and such. I just wandered on screen looking vaguely lost.
sometimes having a body is like: Two hours of sleep and Im fucking unstoppable, ten hours of sleep and i might as well be actively dying in a ditch.
Swearing 2
So, I sometimes use the curses "catdammit" and "holy cats". This started as me being annoyed at the fact that non-religious people said "oh my god" and such. I wanted an alternative, because I am not a religious person and I do not like religion. So, my reasoning for using cat-themed swear words, is that if atheist people can use swears that in some form involve the belief of a god, I can use swears that in some form involve the belief of a cat god. Also, it is between somewhat funny to moderately funny, and I've been told it's cute.
My phrasing in here is probably subpar, and it's because I'm tired and it's late for me. Perhaps I'll fix this sometime. Good probably-not-actually-night-for-you.
I am a studying creator writer, and we recently had a thing where we had to write a pitch for a screenplay. I think mine was good enough, basically about bonding and learning more about how other people exist, and how that relates to your own disgruntledness with your existence. [Legally, I have to be vague.] I finish my pitch and the cinematographist that's working with us says, bar for bar. "Is this a homosexual romance? Because I think this should be a homosexual romance." I'M GOING TO KILL YOU WITH HAMMERS. I am so so tired of every time I try to depict a relationship that is queerplatonic it always gets pushed into being either romantic or these guys are just good friends. It's happened with every fucking piece I've tried to create with this goddamn group. And the one time I tried to make something that's meant to have explicitly romantic subtext—These motherfuckers are like, oh, they're such good friends! I swear, I swear, I'm being soooo nice to them by not tearing into them. And I say, to this guy, no, it's meant to be not romantic, nor platonic, it's the blurred lines in between and they're just fucking ragging on me over it! And later, i'm complaining a little bit to my fellow creative writers, they're telling me that they're tired of hearing me, talk about it, and I really do just need to suck it up. I know that if any of those guys got told with one of their many lesbian love stories that, oh, these guys are just great friends, then they'd be bitching about it too! But why is it bad when I complain about my identity and my works being invalidated???? Why does everyone have a stick up their ass????? This is more ranty than everything else, but I am so pissed right now, bro. I'm going to start killing people. For every instance of aphobia, one person will die. I don't know how I'll do it, but I'll make it happen.
Oi. This is aphobia.
Forever frustrated over non romantic relationships being seen as less meaningful and less important than a romantic one. Queer people in media are only allowed to be queer in the means of being attracted to the same gender and if it's any other flavor of queerness it's not worthwhile. That's awful you have to put up with that trying to tell your own story.
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Horseshit is a superior swear to bullshit
"Respect my boundaries with my child or fuck off."
[ Authors Note: Wren nor Eider will allow strangers to touch their infant without consent ] -- -- @[ guymotion]
